What’s Going on with Elle?

I was initially going to title this post “Why the Double Standard?”, but I felt that it wouldn’t encompass everything that I wanted to say.   This weekend was a series of ups and downs, starting on Friday.  Let’s start with Friday.

Friday afternoon I got a message from someone I went out with a time or three last year.  The type of message wasn’t unique.  Whenever said guy sees a new photo of me (mind you we haven’t seen or spoken with each other since October 2010), he always sends me some little note commenting on how I still look good.  Maybe I was really irritable on Friday, because I became really frustrated and posed a question to my Facebook friends as to why he would continue to send me messages, especially since he’s dating someone else.  I asked if it would be rude if I told him to “kick rocks”.  My thinking was we went out a few times, it obviously didn’t work into something more, so why continue to comment on my looks.   Most of my friends who responded told me that’s he’s either A) trying to keep me on the backburner in case things don’t work out with the current girl or B) he’s throwing it in my face that’s with someone else and not me.  For any of my friends who saw my status and are wondering what happened???  Well, he’s been deleted from my phone book (and my BlackBerry Messenger). 

On Saturday, I had a discussion with a young co-worker about this and other things relating to men.  I basically told her that the reason this particular situation bothered me was because I feel like at this stage and age in my life, I’m too old to play games, and I felt like ol’ boy was playing.  Yes, some may see it as him just giving me a compliment, but it personally got on my nerves.  I related to my co-worker that we allow me to lead us around on these strings, waiting for them to let us know when they’re ready to date us or see us or whatever.  Well, I decided to cut that string.  I will not allow any one toy with me or my emotions.  And I think all women should do the same thing.  As long as we behave in a manner where we respect ourselves, men will respect us in turn.  And as long as we don’t play these childish games with men, they won’t have any choice but to step up…or run away with their tail between their legs. 

Was I being too harsh?  Or was I being too sensitive?  Maybe I was a little of both.  But I know what I want in life, and if a man that comes my way isn’t ready, I don’t need to play any games with him.   I’ve decided instead of letting somone string me along, I’m cutting the string; I hope you all will do the same.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!


  1. Kudos to you Elle! I have many female friends that have allowed themselves to continue to be connected to guys that are only pulling their strings when it’s convenient for them. I try to be and understanding friend but I also am realistic and try to remind them that you have to accept some of the blame when things doesn’t go the way that you want. We all get a sense when we’re being strung along. The same way you got the clue that ole boy was trying to play you, other women get that same feeling. Cut the string, delete the contact info, and move on to someone that is willing to put just as much if not more into something as you are! Good luck in your quest to find a man that is NOT on games!

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