I Should Have Said Yes

As an only child, I’m used to doing things for myself.  And I HATE asking for help.  For anything.  Well, basic stuff.  You know, stuff like bringing in my groceries, cleaning the house, and re-arranging my work space, I got it covered (I do need a maid, though).  But for heavy lifting, moving, shoveling snow, I’m real quick to figure out who I can ask to help.

Last week at work, I had to stay late for a meeting.  After I had my students straighten things up and pack my bags with the leftovers, another (male) adult asked if he could carry the bag for me.  It wasn’t heavy, so I said, “Thanks, but I got it!”  Thirty seconds later, heck probably 10 seconds later, I realized I should have said, “Yes”.  No, the bag was easy to carry, and we were just going down the one flight of steps.  But I should have let that man carry that light bag down one flight of steps.  For a number of reasons.

One, men like to feel needed.  And in that moment, though he had just met me, I needed him.  And he needed to feel needed.  Two, I should have allowed him to be a gentleman.  It was the right thing for him to over to carry my bag for me.  And although he may have been asking to be nice, not really expecting to carry the bag, I should have let him.  Because I would have been sending the message, you ask me to carry something/do something for me, I’m going to let you.  Three, I’m so quick to tell people “no” without really hearing what they are saying to me.  I should have listened to his question, processed it, then provided an appropriate answer.  In my haste to get out of dodge, I wasn’t really focusing on the nice gentleman in the suit who was offering his assistance.  In my defense, I was finishing an 11 hour work day and I was sick.

So, at the end of the day, the lesson learned is: everyone wants to feel needed, especially men.  And the other lesson: when someone offers to do something nice for you, allow them to, especially a man. 🙂  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

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I Haven’t Blogged in Forever

I haven’t blogged on a consistent basis in a long time.  Many factors are to blame.  I lost my last surviving grandparent in April, which hit me much harder than I expected, and for the better part of the summer I was chilling.  I haven’t dated since “The Potential” got stationed to Hawaii, and that has definitely been by choice; I needed a break.  And my life has been somewhat boring….well what I consider boring.  I’ve purposely been laying low trying to get myself in order.   Most important, and what I consider to be exciting and fantastic, is that I have a new job.  And it’s in education.  And it’s in DC.  Although it’s still new, I love going to work everyday.  Seriously.  My commute is SUPER short (well, compared to where I’ve been going for the past two years), and I can finally do stuff in the city after work.  I was pumped at first because I was able to metro and walk and get a little exercise.  But then it dawned on me that when it gets cold and starts to snow, I’m going to have to walk in that…and that’s when I decided to drive.  I may metro next week since it’s the Congressional Black Caucus’ Annual Legislative Conference…we’ll see.

Oh, I’m super excited that “Scandal” is coming back in 5 days…but I’m super sad Harrison won’t be there (Darn you, Columbus Short!!!!).  I have been keeping my eye on this Ray Rice situation.  Now, while I do not condone domestic violence in anyway, Ray was honest with the NFL in February when reports first came out about him hitting his then fiancee’ Janay.  And the league decided to suspend him for the first two games of the season.  Now since there’s a tape, they changed their tune.  As a friend on Facebook pointed out, it’s double jeopardy, like getting charged twice for the same crime.  I truly hope Ray and Janay were/are getting the help they need.  I’m not going to even touch Adrian Peterson and all these other NFL players that are coming out of the woodworks for being charged with domestic violence disputes. And no one wants to talk about Judge Mark Fuller who was arrested last month on a battery charge for assaulting his wife.  Well, some people do.  Three U.S. Senators are asking him to resign because he violated the trust the people of Atlanta put in him.  (Bravo to you guys!) I mean, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander, right?

Back to me-now that I feel like things are falling into place for me, I’m starting to take stock in my life and work on the areas that need improvement and updates. I’m purging my house (it’s a slow process, but I’m getting there; I have WAY too much stuff), and I’m rejoining a few organizations that I left by the wayside for a few years.  While I didn’t become a complete hermit, it’ll be good to enter the land of the living again and to start embracing the Social Butterfly I naturally am. 🙂  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

Thoughts From a Southern Girl

Just so you know, this post is about to be real random.  Why?  Because I have a lot of things I want to say…but I don’t really have anything to say.  Make sense?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.

First, let’s talk about the return of “Scandal”.  I was not excited about the premiere, until I saw a clip of Mellie and Olivia at a faux lunch.  Mellie laid into my girl Liv, I put a smile on my face, and prepared to enjoy the mid-season premiere. The premiere was good, a bit predictable, but I think “Grey’s Anatomy” was WAY better!

Unfortunately, or fortunately for some, it snowed in the DC area on Monday.  (And there are reports we will get more snow next week. -_-)  So, the good thing for me was that I used that day to catch up on some missed television, namely the Oscars.  Yes, on Sunday evening I propped myself on the couch to catch the awards show, but somewhere between the award for Best Production Design or something like that and the evening news I fell asleep.  (I am such an old woman.)  I woke up to the news that Lupita won for Best Supporting Actress and “12 Years A Slave” won Best Picture.  Thankfully, the Oscars were on On Demand, so I was able to see Ellen’s shenanigans, Matthew McConaughey’s AWESOME speech, and Steve McQueen jump at the end of his acceptance speech.

Honestly, that’s all I’ve got.  I don’t really have anything else to say.  My life is pretty boring at the moment.  Well, maybe not boring.  Uneventful is probably a better word.  I’m just working and trying to get my personal affairs in order.  I do plan on juicing for Lent.  Since I have not consistently done it in the past like I was supposed to.  And the days that I do not juice, I will not succumb to food.  I will just drink H2O all day.  Jesus made a sacrifice for me, and for the next 40 days, I can make that sacrifice for Him.  I am planning how I am going to celebrate my birthday, which happens to be during the Lenten season.  So far, I am pleased with what I’ve come up with; I just need to figure out where it’s going to be.

For someone who didn’t have anything else to say I am not surprised I found some extra words. 🙂  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

Don’t Stop Living

So, I am at this place again where I’m not interested in dating.  This place is not new to me; heck it’s not new to you all.  If I can be frank, I had a HORRIBLE date last week.  (Don’t worry, you’ll hear all about it before the week is out because this guy needs to be outed.) As I sit here and ponder the current state of my life (instead of being productive), my mind goes back to my time living in Florida.  I was younger, more carefree (well, not really), and definitely a girl about town.  I was social, active, and rarely spent time at home.  I was super active with church, my sorority, and other organizations of which I was a part.   There were guys I was interested in and vice versa, even though some of them weren’t the best catches, at least for me, and a little shady, but I thank God for allowing them to cross my path.  Because if I had never met them, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today.  But having a boyfriend/being in a relationship wasn’t really that important.

I think the reason why I enjoyed my time in Florida was because I was just living life.  I had an amazing group of friends, people who cared about me, and a beach that was 20 minutes away…but I digress.  Recently, I think that I have gotten so caught up with wanting a companion that I’ve forgotten to live life. (It could also be contributed to the fact that most of the women around me have or are getting rings on that special finger and are adding the title of “Mommy” to their resume.)  Yeah, I am active with my sorority, the other organizations of which I belong, hang out my friends, and do other stuff, but I’m not living.  I’m just doing and being-and sometimes that’s not enough.  And the fact I’m officially in my 30’s now and not in my mid-20’s could be contributed to the way that I feel.

But when I was in the Sunshine State, I was super involved with church-attended service each Sunday, volunteered with the Youth and Young Adult Ministries, and performed with the Step Team.  I can’t tell you the last time I went to church in DC.  And that bothers me.  If I can be honest, I think that’s my problem.  Actually, I KNOW that’s my problem.  Somehow, I’ve lost my connection with God.  And in the midst of finding a church home in my “new” city, I’ve given up.  Sure I still pray and bless my food at each meal, but I don’t worship with others.  I don’t even watch Joel Osteen on Sunday mornings if I don’t make it to the house of the Lord anymore.

In short, I think I’ve solved my own dilemma.  I know what needs to be done.  I need to pray about this season in my life.  And ask that God give me the clarity needed to make it through this temporary space.  And to enjoy life.  And to LIVE life, not just go through the motions.  The question is will I do what needs to be done?  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

My Life Is Crazy…

But not in a “the people around me are crazy” or “how did I get involved with this/him” way, but moreso an “everything is happening at once” crazy.  I was crowned as Ms. DC Exquisite 2013 on Sunday (YAY me!), and to say my life has not slowed down in the past 5 days would be an understatement.

So first, forgive me for not posting all week.  Hey, we’ve been through this before.  Just give me some time to re-learn my juggling act, then we’ll be back on track!  In addition to getting myself together with my new title, I’ve been helping Southern Dad with his book (more on that later), and I was presented with an AWESOME, actually three awesome, opportunity to get some experience that is going to help me in my business one day!  So that has taken up a lot of time.

After next week/first of June, we should be back to our regular schedule.  Just pray for me, ok?  I’m writing this during my short lunch break because I’m in the midst of a fire (not literally, of course).  The awesome thing is we leave early AND get a three day weekend.  I hope you all have a fantastic weekend, thank a veteran (give a hug, buy someone’s lunch, etc.), and I look forward to catching you guys up on what’s been happening in Elle’s world very soon!  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

Way Back Wednesday- Glamour Girl

I haven’t done a WBW post in about 2 years.  And since I want to do some more research/thinking on other topics, you’re getting something directly from the heart. 🙂

Growing up, Southern Mom and one of my aunts used to call me Glamour Girl.  Despite the fact I wore lip gloss (“my lip gloss be popping”), played with Barbie dolls, and HATED to get dirty, I told them they were wrong; I was a tomboy… (Yes, you can laugh.)  I think I wanted to go away from this because I viewed being a Glamour Girl as negative.  Even though the sisters were having fun at the expense of an 8 year old, I wasn’t having it.

Despite having a father that is about 6’3″ (now do you see why I want a tall dude???) and a mother that is 5’7″, I stopped growing at 5’4″, due my having scoliosis.  And I was always a little taller and heavier than my female classmates.  I was a jolly green giant until about 7th grade when everyone else started to catch up with me.  At this age, even with my participation in basketball and cheerleading, I began to embrace being a glamour girl.  I was a ham for the camera (still am) and loved dressing up (still do).  My hopes of being a model were dashed when I realized I wasn’t going to grow anymore.  I can’t remember if I ever told Southern Mom this, but she knew that was a dream; maybe that’s an example of a mother knowing her child.  I did participate in the pageant at my high school for two years and in the pageant hosted by my mom’s sorority, not necessarily because I thought I was going to win, but because I thought it would be fun.  And I had no problem being put on display.

While some girls would be miserable if they didn’t win because this was there end all and be all, my mother instilled in me that not only was I pretty but I was also intelligent, nice, friendly, and had a number of other things going for myself.  I was more than just a pretty face. Some girls, that’s all they know, which is unfortunate.  And this isn’t to say that I didn’t have some insecurities.  We all do, and we would be lying if we said we didn’t.  I always wanted longer hair (still do) and wondered if the girl next to me was prettier.

I am happy to say, that even though I still sometimes suffer from insecurities, I’m still a Glamour Girl, even at 31.  I embrace it.  And I better since I’m getting my own crown and sash in less than a month.  And I DO plan on winning my next pageant in August.  And even if I don’t, I’ll be ok.  Because I’m more than just a pretty face.  I’m a friend, a leader, a daughter, a writer, and a volunteer.  Also, I’m not just walking across that stage and putting myself on display for me.  My hope and prayer is that a woman or girl who sees me knows that she can follow in my footsteps, even if she isn’t 5’10” but is closer to 5’2″ and isn’t a size 4 but is closer to a size 16.  I’m also doing it because I think it’ll be fun, I  like to dress up and I don’t mind being on display.   Until next time, I’m just  a Southern girl…in the city!

A Year Older, A Year Wiser

While I was getting ready to go celebrate my birthday on Monday afternoon, I got a phone call to turn on my tv to see what had happened in Boston.  Even when I arrived at the piano bar, before it got too crowded, my early bird friends and I continued to watch the news to stay in the know of exactly what was going on.  In the midst of tragedy, we still have to be grateful.  I was (and still am) very thankful that God allowed me to live to see another year of life.  Besides Monday’s unfortuante events, 31 has started off on a high note.  Although I have finally made a decision (for real this time) to leave an old beau alone for good, I’m ok with that.  There are some possibilities that are on the horizon, so we’ll see how those work out.

I also set a new goal for my 31st year of life.  To make sure I stick with it, I’m strategically telling certain people so they can keep me honest and make sure that I’m doing what needs to be done to get it accomplished.

I know it’s only been 2 days, but I feel like I have a little more clarity at 31.  I’ve really understood that I need to let some things (and people) go.  I see things from a whole new perspective.  I finally feel like I’m becoming a woman and that I’m no longer a girl.

I’m excited to see what God brings into my life in my 31st year.  I still miss not being the baby, though.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!