I was talking to my friend Lola last night and relating how when I was younger I did the things I said I was going to do-I went to the college I said I wanted to attend, I pledged the sorority I dreamed of joining, I graduated with Honors, I became president of the organization I helped bring to my college campus, among other things. And I didn’t have to work that hard to do them…well, not all of them. I’m not saying that to say I’m great, but just stating once I set my mind to do something, I did it. I had clear, concise goals, and I made them happen. Currently, I feel like a piece of driftwood floating aimlessly in the Atlantic. I moved to DC for a specific, career-driven purpose. I even left my company in Florida knowing I was on the manager track to pursue my dream of coming to the nation’s capital. Now that I’m here, it’s taken me a bit longer to realize my dream, but new dreams have been born and opportunities I never fathomed have come into my life. And although things seem great to those on the outside looking in, things are not always what they seem.
Although Lola tried to get me to perk up, it wasn’t happening. I told her I was in a funk, and it should be gone by today. But my little tirade made me think about myself and about others. We only allow people to see what we want them to see. Our co-workers, friends, even some of our family may not know the struggles we go through. And if you’re like me, you don’t want people to worry about you, so you are Sally Sunshine 24/7 in hopes of not alarming anyone and going on about your business. But if we are all honest with ourselves, are we TRULY happy? Are we in our dream job (or doing something we enjoy), living where we want, have our finances in order, and really just happy being who we are and with life’s circumstances? I’m clearly not trying to depress anyone (as one of my cousins said my post yesterday was depressing-I beg to differ), I just want us all to do a little soul-searching.
Feel free to share your thoughts. You don’t have to spill your guts 🙂 or even answer the question, but any and all feedback is welcomed! (And if you see me out this weekend, please don’t ask me if everything’s ok. It is!) Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!
Today’s Black History Month fact:
Queen Nefertiti is the 2nd most famous queen out of Egypt. Her likeness has been recreated over the centuries, and she is often referred to as the most beautiful woman in the world. Read more about Queen Nefertiti here.
Southern Girl in the City 
I think a lot of us are guilty of this…especially moms. The tipping point, I think, is when you lose sight of your goals and never realize that you’re on the wrong track (like many moms do, for instance). The day you realize your redundancy has become a rut is the day you take a personal day, think about the direction your life is in, where you want it to go from here, and redefine your goals. Anyone can tell you that the things you do when you’re 18 will differ from those at 28 and 38. Just some friendly advice from a Southern Girl…in the South!
what is happy? I’d settle for being content. not there yet. good post.
Well, at present I’m not many of the things you mentioned–working at my dream job, financially in order, etc. I am working towards my dream job (which is being a published writer), trying to get my finances together, and trying to be content with where I am. I used to have that golden touch where things went my way all the time (through hard work of course), but since I’ve been an adult, it gets harder and harder to focus on dreams. Instead of focusing on being a published, working writer, I’m working to pay Sallie Mae and Co. It can get you down.
I’m the type of person who tries to remain optimistic and keep a smile on my face, though. I find the good in the situation. As long as I am actively working towards the future I want, I can be content with that and proud of that.
Great post.
I truly agree with you. As an almost 30 year old, I am still progressively climbing to the heights I ultimately want to reach. Personally, I think most of us new aged college graduates (ie finished after 1999) have started to match ourselves up against people who enjoyed the fruits of the dot com boom, but we are getting about the burst. In addition to the economy sucking and people just glad to have a job, it makes it that much more difficult to step out on realized dreams in opposed to settling for the comfortable. Sally Sunshine… I feel your pain! I look at my mom, and I make twice the amount of money that she does but I still feel as if I need her help because my expenditures are so much greater. I live in a much more expensive city, Sallie Mae is a pit bull, AND I want to LIVE a little :). Not to mention that my personal life (ie relationship/dating opportunities) are not where I would like them to be. Gratefully, I can say that I am happy. Can things be better. Of course! Could I do to make more money? Hellz yeah! But the simple fact that we have not achieved all that we hope to is the driving force that keeps getting you out of bed in the morning. It’s the thing that make you hunt for that job that is gonna give you more gratification, even if’s only short term. I look at each milestone and goal reached a celebratory point and for each one, I am happy. If you allow the little things to shape who you are, you won’t you need the big one to complete you.
Good post!
Good post! We all feel this way at some point. Happiness is a state of being but it is important to have JOY in any situation that may come across your path. When we feel this way we have to think at all that we have, how blessed we are, and be thankful. It also gives us the opportunity to take stock of what we are missing and what we want. You CAN have what you want…sometimes we just have to work harder than we initially thought 🙂 Elle you are an amazing person! You just don’t know how much of an inspiration you are to me and everyone whose life you touch… God definitely has something great in store, just stay on your grind!