Last night, “Anderson Cooper 360” covered the story of “The Sissy Boy Experiment”, which was a study done at UCLA in the 1970s to change the behavior of children who behaved like the opposite sex, i.e. boys playing with dolls and girls behaving as “tomboys”. The subject of this story, Kirk Murphy, ended up committing suicide in 2003 at the age of 38. His family blames it on the after-effects of the treatment he received during his time as a study of doctoral student George Rekers.
Now, before I state my opinion, let me put some disclaimers out.
- I am not, nor have I ever been or claimed to be, a psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist.
- I do not have firsthand knowledge of feeling like I was born in the wrong body (meaning I don’t feel that way).
First, what happened to letting children be children? Now, I don’t have children, but if my son wanted to play with Barbie growing up, I can’t say that I would allow it. I definitely don’t think that I would allow him to dress in my clothes. But, I definitely WOULD NOT send my child to a doctor to “enhance” his masculine behavior. My belief is that no matter what one does, if a child is born to behave a certain way, that child will behave that way. It doesn’t matter if the child reverts back to it as a teenager or as a 40 year old, but eventually the child’s true feelings will come out. Case in point, Kirk Murphy ended up being a gay man. Sadly, according to his family, he was never truly happy again after his treatment.
Another point that Murphy’s brother, Mark, brought up in the interview is that Kirk learned what to say to the doctors to convince them he was “cured” and that nothing was wrong with him. He wasn’t allowed to be who he was because he knew in doing so he could re-live the shame, hurt, and punishments he endured when he was younger. I would not be surprised to learn that most of the students in this “study” did just that. And isn’t that human nature-to tell people what they want to hear, especially if the opposite will have negative reprecussions for us???
The moral of my post today? Let people (children) be who they want to be. As long as they are not hurting anyone, we should embrace them for who they are. Of course when children are born, their parents have these hopes, dreams, and desires for them, but children are not born to fulfill their parents’ dreams-they need to fulfill their own. Yes, their life may be hard if they decide to live as a homosexual or as a transgendered person, but as their family, it is our responsiblity to let them know they have our love and support. Making them feel ashamed of who they are could have dire consequences.
Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.
P.S. And let me not forget to mention that last year Dr. Rekers travelled overseas with a male escort. Dr. Rekers stated he did not realize that his attendant was someone who took money in exchange for sex (yeah, right.). Dr. Rekers stated he hired this man to carry his bags. Funny, since the good doctor was pictured pushing the luggage cart with his luggage on it in the airport in Miami when he returned home from said trip…
- Anderson Cooper to examine George Rekers’ ‘anti-sissy therapy’ that led to Los Angeles man’s suicide (miamiherald.typepad.com)
- Why did parents keep baby’s gender a secret? (cnn.com)