Commence means “to begin:start” (thanks dictionary.com). I had my fourth commencement ceremony almost two months ago. And while it was a very joyous occasion, after all of the pomp and circumstance (see what I did there???) was over, I felt like something was missing. I was asking myself, “What’s next?” And if I can be honest with you all, I was a little disappointed. I had this great plan that once I finished, I would get promoted and begin a new sojourn professionally. Unfortunately, that was not the case. So I felt lost, alone, and somewhat empty. We all know that commencement ceremonies not only show an end to studies but they are also to serve as a beginning of something new. And with my not getting my promotion as soon as I would like, for me, I felt like there was nothing new for me to do. Not only did I no longer have to read books or write papers or do group work (thank GOD!) but I felt as if I didn’t have anything new to look forward to, either. And that was very disheartening.
After I got over my little pity party, I had to do what I tell my students-come up with a Plan B. So that’s what I did. Just because I didn’t see the promotion I wanted at this particular time didn’t mean it was never going to come. So I created a plan to better myself so that I can be ready when the time comes for me again to apply for a promotion. In addition to getting myself ready professionally, I knew there were some other changes I wanted to make personally. I’m eating better (yes, even during the summertime with all these cookouts and trips), I’m getting more exercise, and I decided to change my hair, which for me is really nothing new. But the change I’m seeking will be a little more permanent than my previous changes. I can’t wait to see how it turns out.
Additionally, for me, especially growing up, it was important to me that people liked me. And I hate confrontation/arguments, so I would say “Yes” to a lot of things that I didn’t really want to. Or not speak when I didn’t like something because I hate dissension. Welp, the new Elle is speaking up more, being more assertive, and making sure that I take care of No. 1 first! I have to protect myself and my feelings (no one else will). And if that includes telling people “No” or doing things for me, then so be it. Will people be mad? Probably. Do I care? Not really. Just as others put themselves first, I MUST start doing the same!
Oh, and my love life??? Meh, but of course old flames start rising again during summer time (I’ve had two old beaus reach out within the last two weeks). We’ll see what happens, but if I can be honest, I’m trying to live a Hot Girl Summer! And I think you should, too!
Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!