Fall Back, NeNe

Last night, I was watching the “Real Housewives of Atlanta”, which is one of my guilty pleasures.  Every Sunday night, if I’m home, I can be found chilling on my couch tuned to Bravo.  I even popped some popcorn to watch the drama unfold last night.  Suprisingly, I have been Team NeNe this season.  Last week, I felt her ire as the ladies showed up almost 3 hours late to a dinner that NeNe had hosted in their honor.  And I’m glad she stook by her guns and didn’t let them in her house (although I think I would have been pissed had I been on the other side).  Unfortunately, I had to give my girl Ms. Leakes the side-eye last night.

It’s no secret to anyone that watches RHOA that Porsche Stewart is the quintessential housewife-she doesn’t have a real “job” but volunteers at a foundation named after her grandfather, she cooks and cleans for her husband, and she doesn’t do anything without running it past her mate.  This type of marriage seems to be working for the Stewarts.  But NeNe, in all of her infinite wisdom, has decided that Porsche needs to develop her OWN identity separate from her husband and do what she wants to do.  So the ladies decide to teach Porsche some life lessons during their first night in Vegas.

While I guess I understand where NeNe is coming from, I feel that she is way out of line.  It has only taken me 30 years to realize that I do not need to be in every body’s relationship.  If it works for those two who are in it, who am I to criticize/chastise/judge?  Porsche made a conscience decision to enter into the “type” of marriage she has with Cordell.  She has stated numerous times on the show that Cordell is old fashioned and that is what she likes about him.  And as someone that has stated multiple times that I would LOVE being a housewife (not sure how long that would last, though), I totally get where Porsche is coming from.  She wants her husband to be the head of the household, to be the caregiver and provider, and to be the decision maker.  In essence, she enjoys being submissive to her husband.  As someone that has friends that have dated men 10+ years older, one of the drawbacks/compromises/things is that he’s more likely to “tell” you want to do and be set in his ways and want you to behave a certain way.

Now, what I do not like and cannot appreciate is the disrespectful way that Cordell addresses Porsche at times.  But, once again, if she does not have a problem with it, who are we to comment?  Has Porsche ever turned to NeNe as a confidant and stated she doesn’t like the way her husband talks to her sometimes?  Has Porsche ever confided in NeNe that she wishes Cordell would give her a little breathing room?  No, she hasn’t, at least not from what I have seen.  Another point I can’t get with is when Porsche stated Cordell “let” her go on the trip.  I don’t understand how or why one grown person has to get permission from their partner to do something.  (Maybe it was just a matter of word choice.)  When I was in high school, I totally didn’t get why my best friend’s dad wouldn’t “let” her mom cut her hair.  But when you marry, it’s about compromise.  Sometimes you do things you may not like in order to keep your mate happy.  It should not, though, be a one-way street.

The moral of today’s post?  If your friend/homegirl/acquaintance is happy in her relationship, leave her alone.  What will not and should not be tolerated is her man being disrespectful to you.  You can definitely put him in his place about that.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

The Realness of Tia and Tamera

In a world where reality television is king and black women arguing and fighting each other doesn’t cause anyone to bat an eye, it was SO refreshing see twins Tia Mowry-Hardrict and Tamera Mowry-Housley with their own reality show on the Style Network.  “Tia and Tamera” was my Monday night guilty pleasure.  We’ve always loved these twins since “Sister, Sister” and have watched them grow up, from Tia’s currently starring role on “The Game” and Tamera’s run on Lifetime Network’s “Strong Medicine”. 

Not only did these sisters have each other to lean on, but they also had friends and their mates.  I SO fell in love with Cory Hardrict (Tia’s husband) after last night’s episode.  He was so supportive during Tia’s pregnancy and was definitely the calm one.  He also was so excited to see his son and encouraged his wife every step of the way.  When Tamera and her husband, Adam, were faced with racism from “fans”, Adam told Tamera, “That’s their issue; not ours”, it showed that he loved her no matter what. 

Now, just like all sisters, Tia and Tamera did have their disagreements.  Especially when it came to Tamera’s wedding.  I totally felt that Tia was being selfish.  And I’ve never been pregnant, but I felt like that was Tia’s excuse for EVERYTHING!!!  And I thought she was wrong when she didn’t want Andrea, Tamera’s friend, to be the Maid of Honor.  But all things worked out in the end, and that is what’s important.

I’ve always enjoyed the Mowry sisters and was excited to see them get their own show.  And I’ve even more excited that “Tia and Tamera” was picked up for a second season.  Hopefully, we won’t have to wait that long!  To Tia and Tamera, on behalf of Black women in this country who truly value what’s important, family, friends, and sisterhood, thank you for showing the world that not all of us are celebrity hungry, coattail-riding, angry, bitter women.  Until next time, I’m just as Southern girl…in the city!

“They Call Me LaQueefa”

Unfortunately, people, I can’t make this stuff up, even if I wanted to.  Lifetime’s show “Dance Moms” recently had an episode where dance student Nia, the only African-American girl on the show, was required to do an “ethnic” dance complete with a tight leopard catsuit and black afro.  Of course, Nia’s mom, Holly, voiced her concerns with dance instructor Abby.  But I’m not sure what good that did; Nia still performed in the showcase.  When Abby suggested to Holly that she take her resources and find her own choreographer for Nia’s performance, she backed down. 

First of all, it says a lot when a Caucasian woman can get on national television  in 2011 and can tell a Black mother that she IS stereotyping her daughter.  Abby’s excuse was that Nia has to be able to perform when she appears at auditions where they are looking for “ethnic” dancers.  This is the biggest load of crap I’ve heard in awhile.  If I were Holly, I would have gotten my daughter, gathered up her things, and walked out of the studio.  You know what was even more offensive than the outfit?   It was the dance itself along with the music, which had no type of ethnic beats or moves.   Are we that hard up for fame that we sacrifice our children now?  Not only that, but isn’t Holly concerned about the ramifications this performance may have on the psyche of Nia?   

I understand that parents have dreams for their offspring.  But what is little Nia going to think 10 years from now when she sees this tape?  And if she’s lucky, it may not even take her that long to realize EVERYTHING that is wrong with this episode involving her and her mother. 

Does racism still exist in this country?  Absolutely.  And this show proves it.  It’s just really disheartening to see a child used in this way.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

The Growing Empire that is “Basketball Wives”

It seems like everybody and their mama (or their baby’s mama) is showing up on the growing franchise that is “Basketball Wives”.  Shaunie O’Neal and Shed Media hit a reality tv gold mine with the creation of this show.  And if you’re  a reality tv junkie like me, I’m sure you watched “Basketball Wives: LA” this past Monday.  The one good thing I can say about this show is that it has a one uppance on its predecessor-more of the women are wives or actually involved with a current NBA player.  These chicks in Miami have been “formerly linked to (insert name of a retired player)”.  But, just like their cohorts in the F-L-A, these women love to fight.  For an educated woman, Laura Govan, former fiancee’ and baby mama of 4 to Gilbert Arenas, is slick at the mouth and is quick to fight.  And Compton born and bred Malaysia is not one to back down.

In any event, is this what we have been reduced to as Black women?  Bitter exes who will do whatever it takes to be on television to get a few bucks?  I guess I can’t knock Shaunie’s hustle, but I can say that these women give others a bad name.  I’m no expert, but I’m sure not all NBA girlfriends and wives behave the way these women do and these women are the exception, not the rule.  But I have to wonder how accurate I am when Allison Mathis, baby mama to Chris Bosh, is in talks to appear on the next season of BBW.  It appears that the new thing is to date/get pregnant/engaged to a baller to become famous.  It doesn’t take talent or a real work ethic to get ahead in this country, which is highly unfortunate.

So, I’m sure those of you (well, us) who tuned in this past Monday to catch the premiere of BBW: LA will tune in next week to watch the tomfoolery.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

P.S. And as much smack as Gloria talked about Shaunie, I am not surprised she turned up on the spinoff (and is turning into Shaunie’s mini-me)!

Black Television-The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Earlier today, I was all set to write about the Black sitcom and ask where it went.  But after a lunchtime discussion with my co-workers, I realized I underestimated a few of the shows that have Black stars that are currently on the air.  So, let’s begin this discussion.

The Good

“Hawthorne”- You know, the show starring Jada Pinkett-Smith that comes on TNT has its 3rd season premiere tonight.  I have to admit, I’ve never really watched this show, but I did catch the 2nd season finale when Christina told Tom that she was pregnant. (Yes, I had to look up the character names. #dontjudgeme)  I’ve always been a Jada fan, ever since her days as Lena James on “A Different World”, so I will make a conscious effort to watch the premiere tonight. 

“The Game”- Despite horrible writing for its inaugural season on BET, “The Game” of the CW was a force to be reckoned with.  It was great writing and great acting with believable characters.  The fourth season left a lot to be desired, but hopefully the writers will see the error of their ways and step their game up for season 5.  The great thing about this show is that the fans stuck by the show and followed the characters to their new channel.  We should all touch and agree that “The Game” has a wonderful new season in the fall. 

The Bad

“Braxton Family Values”- You all know I love reality television, but this show is a bit much.  It seems like the only person who has their life halfway in order is baby sister, Tamar, and for her to be spoiled, narcissistic, and bossy, that’s saying a lot.  Yes, Toni may be the more famous of her siblings, but she’s having financial troubles…again.  And after watching this clip of their mother go off on their dad, I see where the girls get their crazy antics from!  Now I know we all like a little messy, but the Braxtons put all of their dis-functionality (is that a word?) out for the world to see. 

Any Tyler Perry sitcom- Now I know I have praised TP on this blog before, but I’ve also stated I don’t like his sitcoms.  They’re awful, but somebody’s watching them.  I don’t think I really need to say too much more.  If you’ve seen one, then you know what I’m talking about.  If you haven’t, you’re not missing much.

The Ugly

“Basketball Wives”- This show is a bunch of ex-wives and girlfriends who are angry, bitter, and ready to fight somebody.  Need I say more?

Did I miss any shows? 

Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!