She’s Cuter Than Him…

At the age that I am, a large number of my friends and fellow peers are getting married.  (As a matter of fact, one of my best friends and sorors just got engaged this weekend.)  They’ve finally met “The One” and believe they want to spend the rest of their lives with him or her.  I totally applaud them.  But, I have to admit, there are times when I see people and think, “How did HE get HER?!?!?”  Don’t act like you guys have never thought that in your life.

Last week, my BGF (Best Guy Friend) TyAnthony and I were having a conversation about couples we knew.  I’m not sure how we got on the topic, but we noted…well, maybe I stated…”You will see more situations where the woman is more attractive than her mate than you will men who don’t have attractive women on their arm.”  Ty said that was not always the case.  So, we named a few of our male classmates who married women that were not considered “attractive” (by general standards) or less attractive than their mate.  While the number of men with unattractive mates was small, we both acknowledged on a larger scale, women are more likely to date unattractive men. 

Ok, are we being a little shallow?  Possibly, but let’s be real, people.  We pretty much summed up the attractive factor could be contributed to one main thing-women are more likely to look at the total package of the man while men are visual creatures and are going to be attracted to the physical.  I personally believe that more women will stay with a traditionally unattractive man because he’s the total package-he treats her well, they have the same goals, and he knows what he wants.  And I’ve heard a number of my male friends say that looks will get you (a woman) in the door, but when it comes to a life mate, they want an attractive woman who’s intelligent, has goals, and can hold it down for her man. But I don’t know if I believe that.  Most men will sacrifice smarts and domestic abilities to have a pretty woman on their arm.  On the other  hand, I don’t think women make that same decision.

If I can be completely honest and transparent with you guys, when I first met The Boy, I didn’t think he was all that cute.  But after getting to know him, that didn’t matter to me.  He had me cracking up on our first date.  And from there I was hooked.  With the current guy, he’s cute, but there are some things that do not make him my Dream Man physically.  But once again, the total package-how he treats me, his personality, etc.-are fantastic, so the physical doesn’t really matter.  I wonder if men think the same thing when they meet a woman. 

So what say you, SGITC audience?  Are TyAnthony and I completely off our rockers?  Or do we have valid points?  The floor is yours.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

Witty Wednesday-I’m Over It

Once again it’s open season on Black women.  On May 15 “Psychology Today”, Satoshi Kanawaza posted an article titled “Why Black Women are Rated Less Attractive While Black Men are Highly Rated”.  Because of the backlash the site received, they have since taken the post down, but it is still viewable here.  I didn’t read the entire article (yes, I know-shame on me), but I read enough and saw enough comments to know that this man is off his rocker.  And it didn’t take others comments-I figured that out by just reading the title.   But the more poignant question is-why was this done in the first place?

I told this to my former classmate on my Facebook page when she posted the article and asked for my thoughts-“…I think it’s a lie.  All men have wanted Black women since the days of slavery.”  Why is it so easy to beat up on/belittle/attempt to demean Black women?  Are we easy targets because statistically speaking, we are significantly single than our other counterparts?  I truly don’t understand.  Maybe all of the Black women in America should move to Italy or Greece where we will be appreciated. 

Clearly I’m being (slightly) facetious, but instead of adding fuel to the fire, I think we did what was needed.  We  came together and got the filth and lies off of the website.  We (Black men and women-and everyone else, too) know that we are all beautiful and attractive and have a lot to offer.  As adults, we must teach our children that the lies that were stated by Kanawaza are not true-so just in case when they become adults, some idiot tries to spread a similar lie, they’ll be able to stop him or her in their tracks. 

I ‘m ending today’s post with my favorite poem.  Not sure where I first saw it (I think it was when I was part of a program the Deltas in my city had when I was in middle school), but I first recited it during the Black History Month program at my high school in 9th grade.  It speaks to the beauty and resilience of Black women.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

What If I Am A Black Woman?

Is it a disease? Well, if it is, I sure hope its catching

 Because they need to pour it into a bottle,

label it, and sprinkle it All over the people

men and women who Ever loved or cried,

worked or died For any one of us.


So…What if I am a Black woman?

Is it a crime? Arrest me!

Because I’m strong, but I’m gentle,

I’m smart, but I’m learning,

I’m loving, but I’m hateful.

And I like to work because

I like to eat and feed and

clothe and house Me, mine

and yours and everybody’s,

Like I’ve been doing for the

past 300 years.


What if I am a Black woman?

Is it insane? Commit me!!

Because I want Happiness, not tears;

Truths not lies; Pleasure not pain;

Sunshine not rain; A man not a child!


What if I am a Black woman? Is it a sin?

Pray for me! And pray for you too,

If you don’t like women of color

because we are… Midnight Black,

Chestnut Brown, Honey Bronzed,

Chocolate Covered, Cocoa Dipped,

Big Lipped, Big Breasted, and BEAUTIFUL

all at the same time!


So what if I am a Black Woman?

Does it bother you that much because

I want a man who wants me…

Loves me and trusts me, and respects me

And gives me everything because

I give him everything back, PLUS!!


What if I am a Black woman? I’ve got rights,

same as you! I have worked for them,

died for them, played and laid for them,

On every plantation from Alabama to Boston and Back!


What if I am a Black woman?

I love me, and I want you to love me too,

But I am as I’ve always been,

Near you, close to you, beside you,

strong giving, loving,


For over 300 years, Your Black woman…Love me!


~ Author Unknown ~