Elle’s World

So far, 2017 has been great!  I am officially in my mid-30s (and I’m totally ok with that!), I went on my second trip to California (even though it was for work), I attended the wedding of one of my best friends, I took my first international trip, AND I start graduate school in 3 weeks.

Travel is always fun!  And I told myself on my birthday that I wanted to travel internationally at least once a year from now until I can’t anymore.  So, for my first trip, I went to Cuba two weeks ago and had a ball!  Although I got sick (like really sick!), I still had a blast and am willing to go back!  The people, the culture, the city of Havana, and most of all, my girls, were just what I needed!  We were there for 5 days/4 nights, and it was long enough!  While I had a great time, I was more than ready to come home.  The process was easy (we got our stuff before the man on Pennsylvania Avenue made his announcement), and getting there and coming back were easy, despite the fact one of my friends almost got me detained because she wanted the customs agent to stamp her passport when were leaving. 😦 (Long story!) I learned about the country, got a nice tan, and brought back some great souvenirs.

My birthday this year was EPIC (though it didn’t start out that way).  I broke my phone, but I had a great 3 day celebration.  And Southern Cousin even came up to celebrate!

Most important, I start graduate school in less than 3 weeks.  I’m excited, nervous, apprehensive, all that good stuff that comes with taking on a new endeavor that is meant to add to my life in the future.

Lastly, my job is going swell. Though I’ve been given more responsibility (darn me for being so efficient!), I am also adding more to make me better.  I am sure this will make me more marketable and valuable at not only my current job but when I look for new positions after I finish graduate school.

So now that we are almost 3/4 of the way done with 2017, I am excited to see what else is in store for Elle.  Oh, and my love life?  The guy from this post is still around (WOW! Has he been around THAT long???), but it’s not what I want.  And I’m seriously considering ending that, for a number of reasons.  Maybe I’ll post about that later.

In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy these last days of summer.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

I Finally Had My Olivia Pope Moment

It’s a few hours after Fitz is shot.  Olivia returns to the White House to “handle it”.  After she talks Mellie into addressing the public, she goes to the closet of the First Couple to get a suit for her.  Once she enters, she’s sidetracked when she sees Fitz’s clothing-his suits, his jeans, his sweatshirts.  She grabs a sweatshirt, sits down, and inhales his scent.  Then…she cries.  Not too hard and not too long.  But she cries.  Then all of a sudden, she stops.  She gets up, replaces the sweatshirt, grabs Mellie’s suit, straightens her jacket, wipes her eyes, and leaves.

I cried yesterday.  Not hard.  Not long.  But I cried.  And then I wiped my eyes, washed my face, and kept it moving.

It’s hard being a woman.  Sure we look pretty, are friendly, and have things together, but it’s hard.  We have to deal with crazy things at work, possibly at home, and with our family.  It’s not easy keeping things together.  Or appearing to keep things together.  You may see us in our suit or our heels with a smile on our face, but you have no clue what’s occurring beneath the surface.

Now don’t misunderstand, it’s not a complaint or a feeling of being ungrateful.  But it’s not always easy when the life you currently have is not the life you envisioned for yourself.  Or when people don’t do right, you have to be the fixer.  Or if things start to fall apart and go awry, you have to put them together again.

It would be great if you had that support system that you could go to when things got rough or a little complicated.  And sometimes you do.  But you don’t want to be a burden or you don’t want them to worry. It would be better if things never got rough or complicated.  But that’s not realistic.  Life is experiencing the good with the bad and the easy with the difficult.  Sometimes you wonder how long this not so great season will last.

It’s hard being a woman.  It’s even harder being Superwoman.  To have the appearance that nothing phases you, that all your ducks are in a row, that you have everything together is not easy.  But some days you need to cry.  You could be sad or angry or frustrated and you don’t know what to do.  So you cry.  Not hard and not long.  Just enough to get the frustration out. Then you get up, wipe your eyes, put on your big girl panties, and keep it moving.  I’m sure Superwoman cried sometimes, too.

Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

Why Dream?

Happy Monday!  This past week, I had the opportunity to speak with my BFF from undergrad. (She doesn’t know I’m writing this post based on our convo; I’ll probably send her a text to give her a heads up!)  We were discussing our lives and where we are, personally moreso than professionally.  She’s been married for about  a year and a half and she and her husband just became home owners.  We’re both members of the same organization and talked about how we’re both “taking a break” (for various reasons).  I was telling her how I’m not where I thought I would be at this point in my life, and she was telling me how she never thought about any of the things that she now has.  I thought I would be married with at least one kid and be an ADA or prosecutor somewhere in the South-She didn’t think she would be married or living in the Northeast.  This sort of led me to thinking what’s the purpose of dreaming. 

Growing up I dreamt of most things a little girl does-meeting my Prince Charming, getting married, having kids, living in a home with a “white picket fence”, and living happily ever after.  I wanted to go to law school and become this great attorney.  Yeah, easier said than done.  As I’ve gotten older, my dreams have changed.  They’ve become a little more sophisticated in some ways and some may have become a little more self-involved.  I’ve sort of become a little nonchalant about some things as I’ve gotten older.  While I no longer have a desire to be an attorney, I would still like those dreams of having a family to come to fruition, but sometimes I have this voice in my head that tells me, “It’s not gonna happen.”

So, what’s the point of dreaming?  And where do we come up with these dreams?  Are they based on what we see, people we know, what we think is society’s norm?  Are you where you thought you would be at this point in your life, whether it’s professionally, personally, or even the city in which you live? Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.