The Black Woman, Non-Black Man Thing

It seems as if most relationship experts, authors, comedians, and the like are telling Black women if they are tired of being single then they should date non-Black men. But let’s face it-non-Black men are not checking for Black women, at least not at the rate Black men are dating non-Black women.

I’m not sure what is behind the phenomenon that Black women should look outside of our race to date. Maybe it’s because Black women have the highest percentage of never being married. But what I think should be taken into account is telling non-Black men to date Black women. I’m not a reader of “GQ” magazine, but I bet there’s never been an article titled “10 Reasons to Date a Black Woman”; I’m sure there’s not an article geared towards Latino men titled “How Dating a Black Woman Will Be Beneficial for You”.

So, why aren’t there any huge campaigns geared towards non-Black men to date us? I wish I knew. But all relationships take two people to participate. And having articles in “Essence”, “Ebony”, “Honey”, or any other publication isn’t going to get Black women to date non-Black men. Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

You’ve Got to Be Kidding…

Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker from one of my favorite movies "Something New"

I normally don’t respond to other writer’s blogs/comments/post in a negative way, because we all are entitled to our opinion, but as Katherine Jackson said to her husband, Joe, “On this, I gotta speak.”  In case you missed it, MadameNoire.com posted an article by LaShaun Williams titled “8 Reasons to Date a White Man“.  As someone who has dated a white guy before and is open to doing it again, I was interested in reading the article.   I’m sure Ms. Williams is a lovely young lady…but her reasons are crazy.

The comment that has most of my friends commenting on Facebook is, “They have no problem turning a hoe into a housewife.”  This corresponded with reason # 7-“Have the Ability to Look Beyond Your Past”.  What I gathered from this comment is that Ms. Williams is implying that ALL black women are promiscous.  Her reason started out stating white men have no problem dating the friends of exes and so forth.  I’m wondering how this turned into an attack on black women’s sexual behavior.  Reason # 1-“They Open Wide Instead of Down Low” REALLY takes the cake.  Don’t get it twisted-white men are on the down low, too.  And if they’re gay, they won’t be interested in dating ANY woman, now will they???  And white people have bad credit, too!  (Reason # 6 is Financial Planning and Stability.)  Being fiscally responsible is not determined by race or gender.  I hope she doesn’t think that we are all so small-minded to believe these stereotypes are going to be true about every white man we meet.  And as someone who is married to “a Black man—dark-skinned, 100 percent cocoa”, I wonder if she believes what she’s written about black men?  And how does her husband feel about what she’s written?

And of course, there is a rebuttal article.  Boyce Watkins, Ph.D provided a response to Ms. Williams crazy list.   In the end, he points out that his list is not geared towards good black women-just those who are bitter, nasty, judgmental, angry, and arrogant.  His list made me chuckle a little, but of course his list reached certain levels of ridiculousness as well.  

I’m not sure how serious Ms. Williams was with her list, but I can tell you I truly hope she was kidding.  Maybe it’s because I’m single, but I’m almost tired of hearing about why we should date this group of people or why we should leave this group of people alone.  I have met enough black and white men to know that being in a relationship and remaining single are not exclusive to any one race.  It’s a personal preference.  Some men want to play the field; others are always looking to be in a relationship. 

What do you guys think of the article?  Was Ms. Williams dead on with all of her reasons?  Or is she completely off her rocker?  Maybe she wrote this article just to stir up some stuff and get people all hyped, like yours truly.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

Tell Us Why You Mad, Son-Take Two

Brian White, you know the cutie from the feature film “Stomp the Yard” and TNT drama “Men of a Certain Age“, got married this weekend!  But everything wasn’t blissful for the groom.  Apparently, some people are hating on Brian and his new bride, Paula Da Silva, because she is not black.  Brian, who is a very vocal celebrity on Twitter, even retweeted comments that his friends made stating that people (i.e. black women) are hating on him because his wife isn’t black. 

Apparently, Brian spent some time on his honeymoon giving energy and credence to the people who were not excited about his interracial marriage.  Some people seem to think that his getting married nullifies the rumor that he was suspect, others claim they never wanted him in the first place, and more people could probably care even less.  It appears to me that instead of his giving credence to these people who mean him no good and whom he’ll probably never meet in life anyway, Brian should enjoy himself with his new bride and the life they are going to spend together.  But he really must have been hot under the collar to pay attention to all these people.

So what say you Southern Girl audience?  Was Brian right in giving these people his attention during what should be one of the happiest moments in his life?  Or should he just ignore them?  And is interracial dating even an issue in 2010?  (Oh, it is according to Dr. Laura; we “blacks” have become much more sensitive about race since President Obama has been elected…#please)  Do black women even want Brian White?  Or is this just an example of an arrogant actor getting his rocks off thinking everyone wants him?  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

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