Find Your Love in the New Year with Match.com!

http://blog.match.com/

The new year is upon us.  Hopefully you’ve made your New Year’s resolutions.  If you’re single, you may have told yourself that this year is THE year you find love!  And if it is, I’m sure you’ve thought of online dating.   As a matter of fact, in a recent poll,  Match.com found that 51% of singles’ New Year’s resolutions will be to socialize more and focus on finding that special someone, making the desire to connect with someone a driving force for singles’ to get online after the holidays.   And that’s  a pretty significant number.  So Match.com is helping all of the single folks out with a 3 day date pass!  Did you know that Match.com’s peak season, the site’s busiest time of year, kicked off New Year’s Day and spans all the way through Valentine’s Day, where Match will see a 25-30% increase in registrations to the site.  That seems like a great time to join and possibly meet the love of your life!  Simply log onto http://www.match.com/datepass to claim your 3-days free offer. 

Who knows, you could get lucky in love like this Match.com couple — have you seen their proposal?

So what are you waiting for?  Don’t let love wait!  Sign up for Match.com’s 3-day date pass today!  You have nothing to lose, but you have LOVE to gain!  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

http://blog.match.com/

*This is a sponsored post for Match.com*

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Catfish

This weekend, I watched the movie “Catfish”, which follows a young man that met a woman on the internet and his quest to meet her in person.  Since I never catch movies when they first start, I missed how they initially met, but the watching his story unfold was intriguing.

As someone that has dated online, I have to admit my biggest fear was that I would meet someone that was totally not the person with which I had been corresponding.  Unfortunately for our friend, Nev, that’s exactly what happened.  He believed that he was talking with this cute, bubbly, twenty-something year old girl.  He even spoke to her mother and younger sister.  Come to find out, he was speaking with a 40 something year old woman who had a boyfriend.  Not to completely give the movie away, but after travelling thousands of miles, Nev discovered this woman went to very elaborate lengths to hide her deception.  She stole pictures on social media, created multiple Facebook pages, and even had two cell phones. 

MTV is premiering a new show tonight inspired by the movie.  And of course, Nev is the host.  Since it comes on so late, I seriously doubt I’ll stay up to watch it. Maybe I’ll catch it On Demand.

I know of multiple people that have found love over the web.  And I also know of people who found nightmares.  I feel really bad for Nev because he thought he found this amazing girl, and she turned out to be a fraud.  And fradulent people can be found in real-life and on the internet, unfortunately.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

In Major Like Mode…

For my birthday, I decided to expand my dating horizons and go on a date each week.  Needless to say, that gift didn’t come to fruition, even though I started off strong.  I went out with 2 new guys and even reconnected with an old crush over the summer.  Unfortunately, or fortunately for me, none of them went anywhere.

Despite my current employment status, I still want to date, and I think I should.  So, after the (MAJOR) coaxing from a friend and soror, I tried internet dating again (BIG SIGH…) New site, new bio (which I hate writing), and we’re off.  Of course you get the messages from dudes you would NEVER be interested in.  But I initially went out with 2 men.  One lived super far away in MD (past Baltimore), but he began dating someone exclusively and wished me well in my search (his words).  The other guy was 29 going on 22, so that definitely fizzled.  I guess the saying, “Third time’s a charm” is true.  The last guy I met seems to be ok.  He’s in his early 30s, and we went to the same school for undergrad.  He lives in VA, but for each date, he’s travelled to the District.  (Bonus points for him because the dude that lived in Timbuktu, MD acted like he couldn’t leave Baltimore County.)  Not to go into too much detail, but I’m in major like mode right now.  And I truly hope and pray I’m not jinxing anything by writing this post.

I do have to admit it’s weird for me to talk to the same guy for an extended period of time.  I always feel like I’m the girl who’s continuously meeting new guys and nothing goes anywhere.  It’s a refreshing feeling to continue to get to know the same person and truly feel that he’s interested in you.  Your quirks don’t bother him (he actually thinks some of them are cute), and he makes you feel comfortable enough to have (almost) any conversation.  I have to admit, personality-wise, he’s the total opposite from me- I’m conservative, he’ll talk about anything.  I’m nice, he can be a bit of an a-hole.  But we work.  And I like it.

So, to my friends that are reading this, don’t be surprised when I start reaching out to you about what comes next.  It’s been awhile since I’ve made it this far.  (Is that bad???)  In any event, I’m going to take things one day at a time, and enjoy whatever comes my way.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

P.S.  I’ve deactivated my account on this new site, for a number of reasons.  I may list the reasons in a future post!

Witty Wednesday-Clearing the Clutter

I was all set to make today’s #WW post about Naomi Campbell and how she’s tripping over this whole Cadbury chocolate thing.  But I can sum it up in a few words: She’s crazy-it’s not that serious-they should have gotten her permission before using her likeness in the commercial.  Now that that’s out of the way…

If you’ve been a fan of this blog for awhile, you know I’m not a fan of internet dating (check out my post titled “Internet Dating is for the Birds”).  And while I don’t like internet dating, I’ve realized that I still get e-mails from 3 sites I signed up for eons ago!  Late last year, I deleted my profile from two sites, but I still kept my profile up on a few others.  While I half-way listened to my neighbor, who is a big fan of Match.com, I kept my profile up on them thinking I may change my mind one day and decide to give these sites a real chance.  After reading OneChele’s post about internet dating (go here to read it for yourself), I decided to do delete my accounts.

I’m not going to pay a price to find a date.  And I’ve always felt some type of way about that.  At least 4 days a week I get e-mails notifying me of my matches and how I can contact them; from there, I’ll select one, we’ll communicate, meet, go out, and live happily ever after…NOT!  Now I know this phenomenon has had great results for people; I’m just not one of them.  And to minimize the clutter in my inbox, I’ve decided to no longer receive e-mails from these sites.  Now all of the important stuff that I need to read will reach me, most of the junk will go to my Spam folder, and I’ve diminished the number of times I have to press the “delete” button.

What clutter do you need to clear from your life?  It can be people, things, habits, or whatever is hindering your progress.  I have some more clutter that needs to be deleted…some of it has already been deleted-they just don’t know it yet. 😉  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

Internet Dating is for the Birds

I seriously doubt I'll meet him on a computer....

If you don’t know, I’m single…in a new city…looking for a nice fellow to show me around said city.  I have a few male friends who live in and are from the area, but I want to meet someone new.  So after some prodding and suggestions from my cousin and soror, I decided to try internet dating.  The end result is I’m not impressed…at all.  Now, I know some people have great luck-one of my sorors met her husband online and they have a gorgeous 7 month old baby and Essence Atkins was just on “The Mo’Nique Show” this week talking about how she’s a newlywed and met her husband online; unfortunately…yours truly was not one of those lucky people.  Some started off great then fizzled while others never left the ground.  So, below I will highlight my four internet dating stories and you can tell me if I’m crazy for not giving this another try. 

Guy #1- He sent me a message introducing himself via the dating site.  We communicated via the website, then we exchanged names, figured out we were both on Facebook, and became friends.  After about a month of sending each other messages and commenting on statuses, I finally asked him if he ever planned on meeting me in person; I mean, he never asked me for my number.  His response went something like, “I knew this was coming. (Oh, really???)  Well, I just feel like we should take our time and get to know each other” or some crazy mess like that.  Really, dude? We’ve been communicating with each other for almost 3 months.  I have enough pen pals and friends; I want someone I can date.  While conducting my annual Facebook Spring Cleaning, he kindly got deleted.

Guy #2- He sent the first message..and didn’t have a picture up.  That concerned me on so many levels.  I know not everyone looks like his or her picture, but it at least gives the other person a pretty good idea of what you look like.  But I continued to message him (we had nice dialogue), and after about the 3rd message, I asked him if he had a picture, which he promptly sent after asking for and receiving my e-mail address.  I thought he was cute, seemed like a really big dude (borderline fat), but he was 6’7″ (ya’ll know I got a thing for tall men) so I figure if he were skinny he would look crazy.  So we evolved from e-mailing to texting.  Very intelligent guy, we were connecting, and he even offered to cook for me, (if you don’t know I’m a sucker for a man that can cook!), so even though I thought it was a bit premature I rolled with it and appreciated the gesture.  After another few days, he asked me out on a date.  We decided to go see “The Hangover” at Gallery Place.  I took the Metro (parking in Chinatown is a beast) and arrived about 15 minutes before the movie started.  When he approached me, he didn’t look quite like his picture…he looked better (5 cool points for you, sir)!  He had already gotten our tickets, so we went to see the movie.  Now, while I enjoyed the movie (get the DVD if you haven’t seen it), I thought a movie wasn’t a good first date.  I mean, you don’t have an opportunity to talk to your date.  Maybe you can gauge alot by how they react to a good comedy.  And don’t worry, he was a perfect gentleman-didn’t try to get too familiar with your girl.  So, after the movie was over, he asked me if I wanted to get ice cream (ok, seriously…those are my two favorite words!), so we made our way to get some.  We sat down and talked, had an amazing conversation about our interests and even talked about what we would do in the future.  And I probably could have stayed a little longer, but since I had to go to work the next day (he was a teacher so he was on summer break), we had to call it a night.  We both had ridden the Metro, so he walked me back, waited with me for my train (what a gentleman!), and asked me to let him know when I made it back to my car.  Once I made it and was on my way home, I let him know and thanked him again for a nice evening to which he replied it was his pleasure and he couldn’t wait to go out again.  The next few days I didn’t hear from him…which I thought was odd since we spoke multiple times a day for the past few weeks.  So on day 3 after the date I took the initiative to send him a text.  He told me his grandmother has passed.  😦  I told him I was sorry to hear that, he and his family were in prayers, and to let me know if he needed anything. (That’s an awkward situation for anybody, but especially for someone you’ve only been out with once.)  He thanked me and that was the end of the conversation.  After a week of not hearing from him, I sent him an e-mail and got no response.  In short, I never heard from him again, even after sending another e-mail and making a phone call.  For the longest time I was trying to figure out what the heck happened, but after awhile I said “Forget it”. 

Guy #3- I was never attracted to him; nothing about him seemed attractive to me-his profile, his picture, nothing.  And to add insult to injury, he lived outside of the Beltway…WAY outside of the Beltway…in Baltimore. *GASP*  But I decided to not be stuck up, go outside of my box, and give the guy a chance.  Go through the same scenario-message, e-mail, text, and talk.  After scheduling dates and not keeping the original plans, we finally decided that I would stop in Baltimore for a late lunch on my way from Philadelphia one holiday weekend.  I left a little later than planned, so he asked if I would mind if he ate something.  I didn’t mind at all; I mean, I figured he would get a little snack to tide him over.  So we meet up, go this nice restaurant, sit down, and order.  I order a meal, he gets a beer. A beer????  Him: “Well, I was hungry so I had something to eat.” I’m thinking, “Why would you have a meal when you knew we were going to eat?”, but I just shut up and went with it.  Dinner was awkward, at least for me.  The conversation dragged, he was borderline nerve wrecking, and he had the nerve to try to hold my hand and be romantic.  Dude, I just met you-get real.  Fast forward to the end when the check comes.  The waitress puts it in the middle of the table where it sits…and sits…and sits.  I even look down in my purse so homeboy will take the hint to pick it up.  He didn’t get it, because when I look up the check is in the same place.  So, against my better judgement, I reach for it, and this imposter of a man “pretends” to reach for it after it’s in my hand.  So after a little back and forth about testing each other (which we ALL know he failed-he invited me, he should pick up the tab), I pay the bill, including his beer, not before trying to hand it to him after his pretend move to take it.  He tells me he’ll pay when we both eat.  He walks me back to the car, gives me a hug, and we make tentative plans to hang out the next weekend.  (If I can interject for a moment in my own story this guy was a total bust from the word “GO”.  Based on previous conversations, I feel like he’s a little sex crazed in the sense he wants to be in a relationship to “justify” him having sex.  Not to mention when we would try to make plans to either go out in DC or Baltimore, he was trying to get an invitation to stay at my house if we went out in DC.  Man, I don’t know you!!! Get real-take your butt home or get a hotel if you can’t drive 45 minutes to B-more. Ok, back to the story.)  After another 2 weeks of failed date plans (I just wanted the meal that I felt he owed me) and weak conversations, we decided that this wasn’t working and let bygones be bygones.  While I was pissed I wouldn’t get my meal (yes, I’m mad and greedy), I was all too happy to delete his number from my phone.

Guy #4- This was a little different than the others.  This guy marked me as a favorite so I decided to send him a message.   After the standard expectation of messaging and talking he was a little hestitant to meet in person.  He went out with a girl prior to me who looked nothing like her picture and actually had gained a good 100 pounds.  So I had a little sympathy for him.  But we finally agreed to meet at Starbucks.  The pluses for him is that he was attractive and is really into music in addition to we had great conversation.  Oh, the uber-plus is that he lives in close proximity to work and home.  He couldn’t stay long as he had to leave the next morning to go on a road trip with his mom, so even after talking for an hour, him saying he really needed to go, we ended up talking an additional hour.  Yes, your girl was in major like mode.  After another week or two when I felt like we should be making plans for date # 2, homeboy was still elusive.  And I noticed that I was initiating dialogue most of the time.  So I pointed it out to him one day.  His response-“Yeah, you’re right, and I’m really sorry.  I’ll do better.”  After I decided to see if he really was going to do better, two weeks had passed until I realized I hadn’t talked to him. So I sent a text.  He apparently got a new phone and didn’t know who I was. (Ok, ladies and gents, here’s where ish is about to get real sticky…) So, I told him who I was and proceeded to go to Facebook to see if we were still friends (yes, we even became Facebook friends) because I figure if he truly lost my number and wanted to keep in touch he could easily send a message via Facebook.  Imagine my surprise (NOT!) when I saw we weren’t friends anymore.   Of course I pointed it out-Me: If you didn’t want to be friends anymore all you had to do was say so.  Him:  What are you talking about?  I kindly pointed out that we were no longer friends on Facebook, and he responded that he hasn’t been on to de-friend me.  Then he proceeded to tell me I was reading too much into “this” (I had no idea what “this” was that he was referring to).  I responded with there’s nothing to read into, and we only went out once.  After a little back and forth, these are the final messages between him and me.

Me:  So is this where we say “It’s been real” and part ways?

Him:  I’m heading in that direction.

Me: Ok.

Me: It’s been real

I mean, if we’re headed in that direction, we may as well take the express train.  You’re not feeling me, and I’m beginning to not feel you, so we should just end whatever “this” is here.

So, I know this was a little lengthy, but I really felt like sharing my horror stories.  And after talking to multiple people who have tried to be encouraging, I gave internet dating another shot recently.  But to be quite honest, I’m kinda over it.  It’s an experience that I can say I’ve had, but there is nothing about my personal situation to say “Oh, let me try this again!!!”  So, in the meantime between time, I will be meeting suitors the good ol’ fashion way, in person!  Until next time, I’m just a Southern Girl…in the city.