It’s Really Not That Bad…

I’m probably going to get so much flack for this post, but I kinda don’t care.

Robin Thicke, one of my white boy crushes, has finally garnered a #1 hit with his newest single “Blurred Lines”.  But apparently, you can’t have success without a little negativity surrounding you.

From the beginning, Thicke received criticism for the – shall we say scantily clad – women in his uncensored video.  With women being or appearing to be naked and dancing and grinding on the crooner, not to mention the sign that reads “Robin has a big ____!”, numerous people had issues with the video. Robin stated the video was about having fun.  Also, the lyrics of the song have been questioned, and I’ve heard/read in at least a few different places that this song borderline promotes some type of sexual assault, which I think is ludicrous.  His performance with Miley Cyrus at Sunday’s MTV VMA’s not withstanding, the major story now about Robin is that he ripped off the beat from Marvin Gaye’s “Got to Give it Up” for his new hit.  And what’s even crazier is that Robin, along with Pharrell Williams and Clifford Harris (aka T.I.) are suing Gaye’s estate, sort of as a preemptive strike before they could be hit with a lawsuit.

Personally, all of the hoopla, besides him suing Marvin’s estate, is really ridiculous.  I have to admit, the beat caught my attention first.  It’s catchy, fun, and makes you want to move.  (Pharrell put his foot in the music.)  Then I started listening to the words.  Honestly, I really didn’t pay this song any attention until my linesister/BFF was in the car with me, and she started singing, “Hey Hey Hey!”  Now, honestly, whenever the song comes on, I think of her dancing in the passenger seat of my car.  Anywho, I personally do not think this song is demeaning to women, it does not promote any type of sexual assault, and I think the notion that the music is taken from a Marvin Gaye song is a bit of a stretch. Is the song influenced by Gaye?  Heavily.  But I would not go so far as to say that anything is taken from the late crooner.

I like to think of myself as a music connoisseur, someone that enjoys music from many different genres, so I like to think I somewhat know what I’m talking about.  Would I allow my (imaginary) young, impressionable child to listen to this song? Probably not.  But there have been shows, movies, songs, etc. that have been around since the beginning of the time that parents have shielded their children from.  

One last thing, I’m not a parent, but I have been around and have worked (volunteered) with children for years, so I kinda feel like I can say what I’m about to say.  If parents did the job they were/are supposed to do with their children, they would not be so easily influenced with the images they see on tv or by the music they hear.  I know times are not the same as they were when I was growing up.  But because of the values and principles my parents instilled in me, I was not easily influenced by my peers or even by the music I heard or the television I watched.  I could watch “New York Undercover” and not want to shoot someone.  I could watch “Friday” and know that doing drugs was a bad thing.  Parents cannot expect outside forces to raise their children.  It does take a village to raise a child, but it’s not the teacher’s, after school counselor’s, or the television’s job to raise children.

I apologize for going off on a tangent.  The moral of the post is- Lay off Robin.  There are many more things that are going on in this country that need our attention and our focus.  Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” isn’t one of them.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

I Don’t Know, Bey…

*My open letter to Beyonce*

To say I’m a Beyonce fan is an understatement.  To say I’m a Stan might be an overstatement.  But I respect and admire a woman who is poised, talented, beautiful, and humble…well, we may have to re-visit the humble part after the release of your newest song, “Bow Down”.   The woman who sang such girl power anthems as “Survivor” and “Run the World” is now telling b*tches to “bow down”.  And just last month, you wrote the greatest note about how you were so proud to perform next to your girls Kelly and Michelle AND gave props to Jennifer Hudson and Alicia Keys regarding their Super Bowl performances.

We all have haters-and I hate to use that term.  No matter what we do in life, someone is not going to like what we do.  And that’s totally fine.  You aren’t going to please 100% of the people 100% of the time; if you are, something’s wrong.  But who was the song directed towards?  And why put a song like this out now?  You’re 31 years old, a wife, AND a mother.  And not just a mother, but you have a daughter-a little girl that is looking up to you and will one day emulate you.  I could kind of understand if you put this song out on your first album, when you were a little younger and a little cockier and getting your wings as a solo artist.  But to put something out like this now…maybe because you HAVE proved your haters wrong and you HAVE proved that you can do it all.  Sort of like a “look at me now”.  I get it, kind of.  I guess I am just at a point where I don’t really worry too much about what people say about me.  But I’m also not in the public spotlight having every little thing I do scrutinized.  This song doesn’t even sound like you-the beat, the musicality of it all.  I just don’t get it.

When I found out you were coming to DC I was SO excited.  So much so, I rounded up some of my girls, and we went through hell and high water to get tickets.  Now, I’m re-thinking this whole thing.  (Well, not too much since I’ve already paid for my ticket.)  Maybe this is just a mid-career crisis and you felt like you had to get some things off your chest.  I guess I can respect that.  Since your concert is in July, I have about 4 months to get over you telling me to bow down.  I take that back.  I’m not a b*tch, so I will not take that personally since that was not directed towards me.  In the meantime, hopefully with the things that are sure to occur before this summer, I’ll forget about this song and can fully enjoy the Beyonce experience at the Verizon Center.  And if not…it’ll be totally unfortunate-for you and for me.   For you, because you’ve probably lost the support of one of your biggest fans.  For me, because I’ve seen a great woman and entertainer fall just a little.

Your Fellow Southern Girl,

Elle

How Dare You?

Over the past few weeks, I’ve heard of and come across certain stories that make me wonder, “What the heck were you thinking?!”  One of them is the story of Desmond Hatchett, a 33 year old Knoxville man that has fathered 30 (yes, you read correctly THIRTY) children with 11 different women.  Mr. Hatchett has asked the state of Tennessee to assist him in his child support payments because he can’t afford it anymore.  I not only blame him, I fault these women.  When I ventured into internet dating, a man messaged me that had 7 children.  I quickly deleted his message without responding and never looked back.  (Crazy thing, he also messaged my sorority sister (in a completely different state than me), too, but that’s a post for a different day.)  What made woman number 6 or 7 (let alone 10 and 11) think, “Oh, he’s a catch, he’s cute-let me go ahead and sleep with him”?  I swear, people are stupid.  I tell my friends this, but I’ll share this with you all, too.  People, America, my SGITC readers-think about the person you’re about to sleep with.  Could you see yourself having a child with this person?  Could you imagine this person being in your life forever?  If not, keep it in your pants!!!!  I honestly feel sorry for these children.  This has to be the most disgusting thing I’ve seen in a long, long time. 

For my fellow “Basketball Wives”  viewers, how many of you all wanted to slap Kesha last week?  Yes, Tami was wrong and WAY out of order, but why was Kesha acting like a punk?  UGH!!! I was so disgusted watching that whole episode.  And now Tracey Edmonds (ex-Mrs. Babyface) and Shaunie want to put this mess on the big screen??? #icant  Who is going to pay to watch these chicks in a movie theater?  Not I.  I feel like these reality shows have gotten out of hand.  And to show how these little girls are looking up to these reality stars…I have started watching “Tanisha Gets Married”. (Don’t judge me.)  Tanisha was a cast member on “The Bad Girls Club” and has gone on to host the BGC reunions and other shows on Oxygen.  During last week’s episode, a little girl went up to Tanisha to get her autograph and told her, “When I grow up, I want to be on ‘The Bad Girls Club’.”  Tanisha quicky corrected the girl and say, “No, you don’t!”  Let this be a lesson to all little girls and young ladies in the world-even the women who are ignorant, crazy, and deranged on these shows want you to strive for more. 

UPDATE: Can I also add that I’m quite perturbed that Tia Mowry AND Pooch Hall are leaving “The Game”???  So, I guess this means the show will have it’s last season next year.  It’s been real. 

I’m not a lawyer (even though I had hopes of being one until I turned 23), but I don’t care what anybody says, George Zimmerman needs to stand trial.  If he had stayed in his car, Trayvon Martin might be alive today.  The media needs to let authorities do their job.  But I will say this will be tried in the case of public opinion before it gets to a courtroom.  And I know he has a family and other loved ones, but if your brother, son, husband, or whatever did something wrong, you need to let him know he was wrong-end of story. 

That’s all I have for today.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

My Favorite YouTube Video…

Happy Monday!!!  Last week, I came across a video on YouTube that I thought was absolutely HEE-LARRY-US!!!  It speaks so much to mainstream media’s perception of Black women…which isn’t a good thing.  I’m sure some of you have seen it, and if you have, that’s ok.  Maybe it’ll still give you a Monday morning chuckle. 

My thoughts on the video?  Sadly, for the average educated, well-bred, financially independent, upwardly mobile, slightly bougie, single Black woman, this is an accurate portrayal…with a little extremities.  And unfortunately, there is a lot of double talk coming from us.  We want a man who is able to provide, but we’re interested in remaining a team of one rather than becoming a team of two.  And while we claim to be Christians, we only want to follow the parts of the Bible we like.  And most importantly, we don’t recognize a good man when he’s sitting right in front of us, because he doesn’t meet our height, age, income, etc. requirement. 

What are your thoughts on the video-good, bad, or indifferent?  I have to admit I am a little tired of the not-knowing-what-I-want Black woman syndrome, but I’m glad this was something that is actually funny.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!