Step Outside YOUR Box

So you want to become an entrepreneur.  Or maybe you want to go back to school.  Or maybe you want to start working on your rainy day fund (again).   Or just maybe you want that cute guy in Accounting to come to your cubicle to say “Hi”.  Whatever the case is, we all have some things in our lives that we want to change.  I know I do-hence, “Evolving Elle”… 😉  In any event, in order to get some things we’ve never had, we have to do some things we’ve never done.

I’ll use myself as an example.  In the post from my birthday, I stated that I wanted to go out on at least one date a week.  Sad to say, but I haven’t quite been keeping up with that.  Not for lack of trying on my part.  While I thought I had some aces in the hole, nothing’s really popped off.  While I did approach two men while in Atlanta (see, I CAN step outside of my box), one turned into a potential business opportunity (at least I’m working on an aspect I need to focus on this year) and the other…well, the jury’s still out, though he did tell me yesterday we still have to meet up for a drink.  (Oh, did I mention they both live in the District???)  I’ve come to realize while I welcome true companionship, it’s not going to devastate me if it takes awhile for the right man to find me.  I would much rather be alone and work on becoming a better Elle than be miserable with someone who doesn’t deserve me and we don’t compliment each other.

Relationships aside, I’ve also stepped outside of my box relating to my business.  A few months back, I was contacted by a young lady who wanted me to write a piece about her client.  This young lady is in the business that I’m trying to break into.  I built a nice repertoire with both women.  So, after a failed attempt at trying to connect with a former classmate to discuss this profession, I looked in my phone book and decided to reach out and see if she would be willing to discuss a few things with me.  She was all too happy to help. 

I say all of this to say if you want things to go differently in your life, you have to behave differently.  Regarding approaching men, maybe it’s my insecurity or traditional way of thinking that won’t let me start out as the aggressor.  And I don’t mean aggressor in the sense of “wearing the pants” or even being aggressive; I just mean in the sense where I’m the first to approach and say, “Hello.”  That’s so not me.  But, if I’m serious about meeting someone new, I have to do things a little differently, because what I was doing in the past is obviously not working.  And regarding my business.  Well, instead of doing things on my own or just doing research, why shouldn’t I use ALL of my available resources as in contacting someone who’s doing the same thing???

Lastly, I won’t go into too much detail (because the person whom I’m referring to may read this, and I don’t want him to know ALL my secrets).  There was someone I wanted to meet.  We have mutual friends, and I shared with one or two of them that I wanted to meet him.  But instead of waiting on them, I stepped outside of my box and contacted him myself.  We’ll see how this plays out.

I’ve found what it means for me to step outside of my box.  What does stepping outside of your box mean for you?  We all have different boxes, so what works for me may not necessarily work for you.  Might I suggest taking stock in where you are in your life and how you would like for things to improve or change.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

Why Dream?

Happy Monday!  This past week, I had the opportunity to speak with my BFF from undergrad. (She doesn’t know I’m writing this post based on our convo; I’ll probably send her a text to give her a heads up!)  We were discussing our lives and where we are, personally moreso than professionally.  She’s been married for about  a year and a half and she and her husband just became home owners.  We’re both members of the same organization and talked about how we’re both “taking a break” (for various reasons).  I was telling her how I’m not where I thought I would be at this point in my life, and she was telling me how she never thought about any of the things that she now has.  I thought I would be married with at least one kid and be an ADA or prosecutor somewhere in the South-She didn’t think she would be married or living in the Northeast.  This sort of led me to thinking what’s the purpose of dreaming. 

Growing up I dreamt of most things a little girl does-meeting my Prince Charming, getting married, having kids, living in a home with a “white picket fence”, and living happily ever after.  I wanted to go to law school and become this great attorney.  Yeah, easier said than done.  As I’ve gotten older, my dreams have changed.  They’ve become a little more sophisticated in some ways and some may have become a little more self-involved.  I’ve sort of become a little nonchalant about some things as I’ve gotten older.  While I no longer have a desire to be an attorney, I would still like those dreams of having a family to come to fruition, but sometimes I have this voice in my head that tells me, “It’s not gonna happen.”

So, what’s the point of dreaming?  And where do we come up with these dreams?  Are they based on what we see, people we know, what we think is society’s norm?  Are you where you thought you would be at this point in your life, whether it’s professionally, personally, or even the city in which you live? Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.