They Didn’t Have to Die

Thankfully, I’ve never been a victim of domestic violence.  Unfortunately, I know people that have.  With the recent news regarding the deaths of Kasi Perkins and Selina Brown, my heart has been heavy.   These women, both mothers and in their early 20s, were killed within a week of each other by the fathers of their daughters.  However, their killers will never seek justice.  Both men ended their own lives.

Something needs to be done to teach these boys how to control their anger.  It’s almost too late when they become adults because they’ve become accustomed to being violent and aggressive.  I’m not a psychologist by any means and I do not claim to be an expert, but I think aggressive behavior may come from a multitude of areas.  One could be a boy that grows up in a household where he saw an aggressive, angry male hitting his mother, his sister, or another female family member.  Heck, the boy himself could have been a victim.  Another issue could be the child is angry; why-I don’t know.  But in his anger, instead of lashing out at those around him, whether it be physical or verbal, he needs to be exposed to a constructive way to handle being angry.

Parents play an integral role in the development of their child.  Their presence, or lack thereof, has a lasting effect on their offspring.  Some may wonder if a parent is not dispensing good habits or positivity to their child, should they be an active participant in their upbringing.

I’m sort of going off on a tangent, so let me circle back.  Earlier this week, when I read about this story regarding Selina and other victims, I was brought to tears.  It’s not enough for a woman to want to end a relationship; now, she has to worry about her life and the lives of her children.  This story prompted me to reach out to friends to help me sponsor a family that has been victimized by domestic violence.  I’m happy my friends agreed to help me make Christmas enjoyable for a mother and her children.  And it is my goal in 2013 to volunteer on a regular basis with an organization that helps these families.

Sad to say, these stories are not new.  Women are terrorized everyday by a lover or ex-lover.  I do hope that we keep these discussions going and find a way to help children so they don’t grow up to be abusers OR victims.  While we are doing something for the victims, I want to think of ways to diminish the number of women who are victims of domestic violence. What can we do so that these types of relationships become obsolete?  This time of year is a time for celebration, family, and good cheer.  If you’re able, I ask you all to purchase a toy for a child or a gift for a mother.  All some women want is to end a relationship, not be in fear of their lives.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

2010 Do-Over

Let’s be honest.  We all wish we could go back in time and change something-the nerd we were mean to in grade school who grew up to be cute AND smart and the day we fell in the mud with our white tennis skirt on.  Well, there are some people who wish they could do 2010 ALL over again.  I’ll share them with you below:

1. Kwame Kilpatrick– The former mayor of Detroit thought he was in the clear after serving 99 days of a 4 month sentence.  But after probation violation, where he missed restitution payments, Kilpatrick was sent back to prison and sentenced to serve 18 months to 5 years in a federal prison.  And to add insult to injury, just 2 weeks ago, he was indicted on corruption charges.  The indictment includes 38 new charges that have been called “a pattern of extortion, bribery, and fraud” by a federal prosecutor.  It seems Kwame can’t catch a break…

 2. The Democratic Party- Let’s face it; the Dems couldn’t get their act together, and as such, the Tea Partiers and GOP won the House.  And I know what you’re thinking-that’s typical when a Democrat is in the White House, but for the Dems, this is a big loss.   And they can’t get along.  And by that I mean they don’t agree with each other or the President.  I hope they get their act, the few that are left, to hopefully get some things accomplished.

3. Amber Portwood– The reality star from “16 & Pregnant” and “Teen Mom” was arrested for domestic violence and child endangerment.   GOOD FOR HER!  I saw the episode where she beat up Gary, her daughter’s father.  Amber was so abusive, and I’m glad that she was arrested.  Hopefully she’ll serve time and get help for anger management.  Maybe then she’ll be able to be a better mother to her daughter.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars– Now, you all know I love my football team, but I truly believe the Jags wish they could re-do this 2010 season, most specifically this game last Sunday.  Trailing behind the entire 4 quarters, the Jaguars managed to tie the game and go into overtime.  Not only that, they win the coin toss and have first possession.  Then what happens??? David Garrard throws the ball for an interception, the Redskins have possession, kick a field goal, and win the game. 😦 This loss dashed any hopes that the Jags had of going to the playoffs.  Although the Jags started out having a great season and were even # 1 in the AFC South for a few weeks, they weren’t able to hold on.  I’m hoping that Jacksonville has a great season in 2011.  I’m ready for them to go to the playoffs again.

5. The family of Mitrice Richardson- If you’re familiar with my blog, you know that I have been keeping up with the story of Mitrice Richardson, the 24 year old former honor student and beauty queen whose remains were found 11 months after she disappeared.  Last week, her mother, Latice Sutton, asked the coroner’s office to exhume her body and examine her clothing.  I hope this will help the authorities get closer to finding out who her killer is, because I do believe she was murdered.  

Who do you think needs a do-over of 2010?  Maybe you or someone you know.  What are your thoughts on the stories I’ve shared?  On tomorrow’s post, I’ll share with you some people who had a pretty amazing 2010.   Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

Southern Girl Movie Review: N-Secure

Good morning, folks!  It’s another week, another dollar.  But I’m happy it’s Monday (did I just say that?), maybe because I had an awesome Sunday!!  In any event, this past Saturday, my “auntie” Madeline and I went to go see “N-Secure”, starring Essence Atkins, Denise Boutte, Tempestt Bledsoe, Lamman Rucker, Nephew Tommy (from “The Steve Harvey Morning Show“, Elise Neal, and Cordell Moore.  Madeline saw the info for the movie first, and after she showed me the trailer, I was hyped about going to see the movie.  I truly believe in supporting black businesses and films, and this was a movie that was not made by Tyler Perry, so I was interested to see what it was all about.  Most importantly, the movie dealt with a topic that is not talked about in the Black community as much as it should be-domestic violence.

As usual, this review is going to tell some things that happened in the movie, so if you plan on seeing it, I suggest you stop reading now.   In a nutshell, I really didn’t like this film.  As one moviegoer behind me said, he “…would rather watch ‘Pootie Tang’…in Spanish.”   The acting was pretty good, but the script was horrible.  The parts that were supposed to be funny weren’t, there wasn’t enough development on story lines that I felt were important to the plot, and I wished they would have discovered ALL the dirty deeds David did.  For instance, Denise Boutte’s character, Tina, was supposed to be a gold-digger, based on a reaction I saw from her cousin and the way she looked around David’s (Cordell Moore) house when she walked in.  While the story sucked, it did show how some women will (realistically) stay with a man who is abusive, controlling, and selfish just so he will take care of them.  It also shows how abusers will buy their girlfriends/wives gifts to appease them and to get their women to “obey” them and do as they wish. 

Thanks to Southern Mom, I found out that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, so in that sense I’m glad I saw this movie so I could bring domestice violence to your attention.  I give the movie 2 out of 10 stars.  If I were you, I wouldn’t knock down anybody’s doors to go see it.  Maybe if it comes to the dollar movie in your city you may want to go. 

If you saw the movie, what did you think about it?  If you know of anyone that is a victim of domestic violence or you think they’re a victim, encourage them to tell and get their abuser behind bars.  When a person stays in an abusive relationship, it only gets worse.  Unfortunately, the only way some women (and men) get out is by death.  And we don’t want that to happen to anyone; these are tragedies that do not need to occur.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.