I just randomly came across this older post. While I am happy to say I have put some of these tidbits into practice, I could do more. In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s SO easy to neglect ourselves. So make it one of your goals in 2013 to take some time for you. 🙂

Southern Girl in the City

Yes, I realize it’s been almost a week since I’ve written anything.  Honestly, I was tired and really didn’t have too much to share with you guys.  This weekend I attended “Refresh 2011”, which is a conference geared towards the African woman (yes, I know I’m not African), but all women could gain something from attending this event.  I realized (not that I didn’t already know this) that you have to be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.  There were a lot of anecdotes I took from this event, and I want to share some of them with you.

  • Be sure to take time for you.  If you don’t take care of yourself how can you take care of the important people in your life?
  • From the organizer, Ekene Ajune, she reminded us that the Bible says “Love your neighbor as thyself”, but…

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They Didn’t Have to Die (Part II)

Who knew when I previously wrote about Kasi Perkins and Selina Brown that the next day our nation would experience another tragedy?  I have to admit I have not actively kept up with the details about the killer of those students and teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  I don’t need or want to. All I know is that 26 innocent people are dead and that it probably could have been prevented.  This reminded me of my post from 2 years ago when I had the series “What We Won’t Talk About”.  One subject was mental illness.  Sadly, mental illness is taboo in most ethnic communities in our country, not just with African-Americans.

God’s plan is perfect, although we may not understand.  And it’s not for us to understand.  But, we must be vigilant and faithful.  And while we may cry, be sad, and wonder why this had to happen to these innocent children, we should be happy that they no longer have to experience the ills of this world.  When I still think about it, my heart aches.  There has been so much gun violence in the news recently.  The fact of the matter is that sadly, gun violence occurs everyday; we just don’t always hear about it.

As I did in my original post regarding mental illness two years ago-if you know someone that you believe is suffering from mental illness, don’t sweep their behavior under the rug.  Take them to seek help; don’t just suggest it.  We honestly must take charge and not turn a blind eye when we believe something has changed with a loved one.  Maya Angelou said it best-when people show you who they are, believe them.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

I Need to Step My Game Up

Forgive me; it’s been a while since I have posted.  I’ve been busy, but that’s really no reason to neglect you all.  Plus, I love writing.  I’ve just been worn out. In any event, I’ll go on with what this post is related to.  And if you guessed dating, you would be correct. (I mean, do I really talk about anything else??? :))

I make it no secret that I’m ready to be in a relationship.  Or at the very least have a steady date each weekend and some arm candy on special occasions.  Thought I had that/was working towards it, but that has fizzled out.  A few weeks back, I attended a happy hour sponsored by a local non-profit.  If I may say so myself, I was looking good.  I was sporting my new ‘do, my face was flawless, and my dress was cute.  And yes, I had on flat sandals.  And if you know me, you know I HATE wearing heels.  (Which is actually a new development since I moved to DC.  Before when I would go out, I would ALWAYS have a pair…anyway, I digress…)  Although everyone commented on how nice I looked, one comment stood out.  An acquaintance, whom I have known since I was a freshman at FAMU, stated, “I know you’re trying to catch a man; you need to have some heels on.”  I waved him off.  Not only because I didn’t agree with his comment, but because what does he know?  (And how did I know I was ready to be found? -My Bible readers and Christians will get that.-)

Later on in the week, I spoke with a new acquaintance.  He’s attractive.  Nice height, intelligent, and not bad to look at.  Since I’m nosy, and was fishing for information, I asked him if he was dating anyone.  He said, “No.”  So I offered to play matchmaker.  -Pause-  I did this to find out what type of woman he’s attracted to.  Unfortunately for him, the two ladies that he had his eye on at the happy hour aren’t available.  Both are my friends; one is a newlywed and the other is apparently a lesbian. (Yeah, I was shocked to find that out at the happy hour, and that’s definitely a post for another day.)  While both women are attractive, they look nothing, I mean NOTHING, alike.  When he was discussing my newlywed friend, he described her as “Claire Huxtable”.  The one main thing I remember about her that evening was that she had on heels. 

So, I say…well, type, all this to say, maybe my fellow Rattler was right.  Maybe I should go back to wearing my heels.  And as much as I’ve been a proponent of being a happy with my current size, I’m working out and eating right.  As some interviewees mentioned in their response during my “Weight and Dating” series, when health becomes an issue, you have to start taking care of yourself.  I’m fine (don’t worry), but my doctor strongly advised (i.e. gave me an eating plan) that I start eating right and exercising.  So far, I’ve been very disciplined and plan to make a lifestyle change. 

So, am I naive enough to think that losing 50 pounds and growing 3 inches when I go out is going to attract my husband-to-be?  Absolutely not.  But it couldn’t hurt.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern Girl…in the city!

What Do You Value in Life?

I’m currently on Day 4 of the 31 Day Reset Your Life Challenge.  I have to admit this is definitely an eye-opening experience.  I’m learning more about myself.  It’s easy to think of things in your head, but you receive a completely new understanding of yourself when you write things down and you can actually look at them.

For Day 4, we had to write down the things that we value in our life.  After writing down all of those things, we had to pick a Top 10.  I would like to share those with you today.  And they are in no particular order. 🙂

Love (Family, Friends, and Myself)

Health (Weight)






Financial Stability



I believe that over the next 27 days, I will have a better appreciation for ALL of my life’s values, and I’ll be taking the necessary steps to ensure I’m incorporating them into my life.  What do you value?  If you feel like you’re in a rut or you’re looking for some motivation, I strongly suggest you start this challenge.  You can find out more about it on my post titled “I’m Gonna Do It”.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!