Dating Sucks!

I’m sure I’ve said this a MILLION times before.  And I still stand behind this statement.  I hate when you meet someone new and you have to figure each other out – your quirks, what makes him tick, what you like about him, WHY you like him, etc.  And of course I always say this to myself when someone new comes along and he doesn’t fit into this ideal that I have created.

So, as you guessed it, yes, I met someone new.  Actually, we met last year, texted for a few weeks, then stopped talking.  About a month ago, we ran into each other in these DC streets and have been going pretty steady ever since.  Until we weren’t.  Well, we kinda still are.  Actually, let me explain…

We are COMPLETE opposites!  He’s Northern. I’m Southern.  He’s spontaneous. I’m a planner.  He’s stoic.  I’m jovial.  He uses actions to let me know how he feels (about me).  I use my words to let him know how I feel (about him).  He does not use the word “dating”.  I want to be courted.

The first time we went out, he invited me out to brunch.  We talked for FIVE HOURS over small plates and mimosas.  But, it wasn’t a date. In his mind, using the term “date” presents certain expectations.  And since it wasn’t a date, we went dutch.

Because I still have problems reading men, even at 35, I talked to TyAnthony, who advised that this was not uncommon (to not use the word “date” when getting to know someone).  So, I put on my Big Girl 21st Century Dating Pants and opened myself up to getting to know this man.  So far, it really has been a pretty good experience.  He texts me every day (though I prefer phone calls), and we see each other at least once a week.  He makes me laugh. He makes me think. He challenges me. And yet, something’s missing.  He’s not pursuing me the way I want to be pursued. (That’s the first time I’ve been able to put my feelings into words. I know, shocker!)  And do I cut-off what could potentially be a great guy because he’s not chasing me the way I want to be chased?

There was a whole lot more I was prepared to share, but I think that next to last sentence pretty much sums up what I’m feeling.  I will say that earlier last week I shared with him that I felt that I was planning most of our…outings. He chuckled and said, “I didn’t know we were keeping count.” I gave him the side-eye.  He did hear me.  I worked late the next day, and the next thing I know, he sends me a text saying that he’s 5 minutes away from my job. Totally impromptu and we hung out for a bit.  I did appreciate that, it brought a smile to my face, and gave me warm fuzzies on the inside.

So, where am I now?  I don’t know.  Yesterday, I was ready to write ol’ boy off and be completely done.  Today, now that I’ve had time to re-assess and think about what has happened in this short time span?  I’m still willing to give him a chance, especially since I have been known to cut dudes off when they do one thing that I don’t like (I know; I should do better).  It may be my defense mechanism so I don’t get too close to anyone.  I am talking to TyAnthony tonight to get more clarification and some feedback.  If anyone knows me and appreciates my quirks, it’s him.

Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

 

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1 Comment

  1. Pingback: Elle’s World | Southern Girl in the City

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