Being weeks away from 35, I have been able to do some self-reflections and assessments and figure out what I want to get out of life and where I want to be within the next 10-15 years. I begin graduate school in the fall, which I am very excited about, and my going back to school has allowed me to think about the possibilities and the next steps I want to take in my professional life. I have also been thinking about my financial health. After doing some assessments and actually writing down my expenses and income, I realized that I should be much further along with saving than I am. The good thing is that I have been doing a better job of being a good steward over my finances; the fact that I am now writing them down makes me feel better and that by my managing my finances a little more closely I can do the things that I want to do, especially international travel. Additionally, Facebook reminded me that it was two years ago today that I officially moved into my house. This reminder was a welcome memory to see how far I’ve come in being a homeowner (and how much further I have to go to get my house just right.) As I plan for my career, my home, and my personal life, my love life has taken a backseat.
To be honest, I have become jaded and dissatisfied with my love life. From meeting men who aren’t geographically desirable to men who are too immature to men that were crazy (like almost certifiable) to men that just weren’t for me, I have almost come to the conclusion that I will be single, if not for the rest of my life, then for a really long time. And if I’m being totally transparent, at this juncture in my life, I’m kinda ok with that.
Sure, I miss going on dates and getting phone calls from suitors and all the other mushy stuff that comes with dating and relationships; however, I’m so focused and excited and nervous for what’s to come in other aspects of my life that I’m really not too concerned with my love life. And because everything else is going great, it has taken my mind off of the fact that I am single. With NO prospects.
When something is going right in our lives, it is very easy to focus on that positive and to give two sh*ts to the wind about the stuff that’s not so positive. That’s why I personally believe that’s why it’s SO easy for women to become absorbed by their jobs. They have the requisite education credentials, they gain the necessary experience at work, they are leaders-movers and shakers, and they continue to get promotion after promotion and advancement and notoriety and everything else they need to be successful career-wise. When a man comes along, it would behoove him to let that woman know how he plans to enhance her life and how they can be great together in order for her to give him the time of day.
Earlier this week, I was hanging out with some friends of mine that are married. I let them know that, “I don’t necessarily want to put this out in the atmosphere but I think I’m going to be single forever. At this point in my life, I really just want to meet a man who has the same values as me, wants one or two children, and we can put our resources together to buy a bigger house (than mine).” The husband let me know that I am not the problem (I really needed to hear that because sometimes I think I am). He assured me that DC is a tough place to find a quality mate. Which, I already knew.
At the end of the day, I will be focusing my upcoming birthday celebration, work, travel, and graduate school. If a man comes along he’s really going to have to have his stuff together in order to get my attention. And keep it.
Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.
Happy to see you writing again. I think focusing on what you can control is a good thing. The right person will come along in due time. Becoming a better you will attract positive energy and men who are actually worth your time.
Thank you! 🙂
I Came across your blog, and I think you have a special voice for yong women and our experiences. Keep writting, evolving, living and learning. Way to go!
Thanks so much, Alex! Your words are truly appreciated! 🙂