Companion: Requested 

This weekend I hung out with a sorority sister of mine that I have not seen in AGES!  It was to the point that she had me paranoid and thinking I had done something to her because it had been so long since we’ve seen each other. She’s a few years younger than me and is engaged. I love her and her fiancée and their relationship.  They have the same goals and he has helped her realize some of her dreams.

As it typically goes when I catch up with a girlfriend that I haven’t seen in a long time, she asked me the predictable question-“So, are you seeing anyone?” Surprisingly Sadly Fortunately Hell, I just told her “no”.  After running down the last few guys that had my attention within the past year, I told her that “I really just want a partner. A companion. I don’t need a guy to spend money on me or buy me a house or get me things.  I can do that myself. I want a man who can be my support, someone that I can depend on, and who can be there during the rough times.  And I want to be the same for him.  And at the end of the day, we pool our resources together to get a bigger house and more resources to raise our family.  It would be  so much easier if guys got that.”

Her response? “Elle, that’s the perfect description of what a relationship is. (The companion piece)”

So, to the single men reading this, that’s really what women want. Well, that’s what this woman wants.  Sure, we need to date and communicate and do things together. And yes, I would love to get “just because” flowers or get taken out for a night out or just do something with just the two of us. But when it’s all said and done-you need to be working on making me a life partner.  The end.

Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

“You’ve Got a Great Personality!”

These are the words that were spoken to me yesterday by a co-worker before she stated she couldn’t understand why I’m still single.  I love her to life, she’s funny, and we play off of each other ALL DAY.  But almost of the blue yesterday, she made mention that she was talking to her husband (lovely man) about me this past weekend during their discussion of relationships.

But in addition to my having a “great personality”, apparently I’m too picky.  These words are like hearing, “You’re pretty-for a big girl.”  I immediately responded and told her that I’m not picky-I’m selective, and I’m not going to be a relationship with someone just because.  My last ex-boyfriend (I used that word VERY loosely) couldn’t understand that (that’s why he’s an ex), but maybe my co-worker will.  Not that it’s really any of her business.  I know she means well, but I’ve (somewhat) gotten to a place where I am truly happy working on Elle and am ok with being single.

Sure there are days where I desire the love and affection of a mate.  But I’m not willing to compromise myself to get it.  And just because I’m in my 30s doesn’t mean I’m going to start accepting any old thing that comes my way because I feel like time is running out.  When things like that happen, we make our situations MUCH worse.  And at times we end of not only disrupting our lives but also the lives of others.

So, in short, if you know someone who is single, just let them live.  If they are interested in you searching for someone for them or want to discuss their love life (or lack thereof), they’ll let you know.

Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!