As an only child, I’m used to doing things for myself. And I HATE asking for help. For anything. Well, basic stuff. You know, stuff like bringing in my groceries, cleaning the house, and re-arranging my work space, I got it covered (I do need a maid, though). But for heavy lifting, moving, shoveling snow, I’m real quick to figure out who I can ask to help.
Last week at work, I had to stay late for a meeting. After I had my students straighten things up and pack my bags with the leftovers, another (male) adult asked if he could carry the bag for me. It wasn’t heavy, so I said, “Thanks, but I got it!” Thirty seconds later, heck probably 10 seconds later, I realized I should have said, “Yes”. No, the bag was easy to carry, and we were just going down the one flight of steps. But I should have let that man carry that light bag down one flight of steps. For a number of reasons.
One, men like to feel needed. And in that moment, though he had just met me, I needed him. And he needed to feel needed. Two, I should have allowed him to be a gentleman. It was the right thing for him to over to carry my bag for me. And although he may have been asking to be nice, not really expecting to carry the bag, I should have let him. Because I would have been sending the message, you ask me to carry something/do something for me, I’m going to let you. Three, I’m so quick to tell people “no” without really hearing what they are saying to me. I should have listened to his question, processed it, then provided an appropriate answer. In my haste to get out of dodge, I wasn’t really focusing on the nice gentleman in the suit who was offering his assistance. In my defense, I was finishing an 11 hour work day and I was sick.
So, at the end of the day, the lesson learned is: everyone wants to feel needed, especially men. And the other lesson: when someone offers to do something nice for you, allow them to, especially a man. 🙂 Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!