It has been almost 6 months since Southern Mom passed. Some days are great. Some days are not so great. Last week was rough since I had to go to home to handle some business on her behalf. (I took the shortest trip home I’ve ever taken this weekend.) And while it was rough, especially Sunday, I am moving forward.
There have been some upsides and positive things that have occurred-I presented at a workshop this weekend related to education. I received an email earlier today about speaking at an engagement this weekend. I started a book club. We’ve met twice so far, and these ladies are a trip! We have so much fun together. And, most importantly, I bought a house. In DC. (My soror/friend/road dawg Original Najeema suggested I blog about that.) Let me say that was not an easy process. And I definitely thought it would take me at least a year to do it. But I did it. And I love my house. Now, I will be brutally honest with you-while I LOVE my house, I was hoping that the seller would have assisted with the closing costs, but that didn’t happen. And while I definitely could have walked away, I didn’t. And for a number of reasons.
One, I love that house. It is completed renovated and has the amenities/updates that I wanted. Two, I was tired of house hunting. Sure, it was fun in the beginning. But every house, with the exception of one, that I put an offer on or was interested in, someone beat me to the punch. (LONG on that first house…) I got tired of finding gems that other people found before me and watching them take possession. Third, it was EXACTLY what I told my realtor I wanted. So why wouldn’t I keep it and move forward??? Lastly, I had to tell myself that while I was putting up all of the money upfront, it would still be MY money, going towards MY house, and benefiting ME in the long run. So, earlier this month, I became a homeowner! My realtor took a picture of me at the last walk through (where I was VERY animated), and of course, I celebrated with a happy hour. What’s super funny is that Southern Dad called it. His words two days before I closed? “Ok, Elle, when you close, it’s not the end; it’s the beginning. And don’t think you have to go out and celebrate with a happy hour.” Color me shocked! How did he know my life??? Needless to say, I didn’t tell him until the day I closed that he was right about the happy hour and that invitations were sent the previous week. We both got a good laugh from that one.
While I’ll always mourn my mother, I can’t become stoic. I have to keep moving forward. I know that’s what she would want. And I thank God everyday for my family and friends for their continued support. I know I couldn’t do half of the stuff I need to do without them willing to lend a helping hand.
I read an article this weekend when a friend shared it on Facebook. While I don’t like the term “Motherless Daughter”, it was SPOT ON with all of the thoughts that I have when it comes to my mother and how to deal when people ask about my parents or how to deal with a potential mate in the future. And even now, certain things happen that make me think of memories I have with my mother (that time we would sing Sisqo’s “Got to Get It” just because of a particular lyric in the song, that time I heard her curse for the first time because I spilled Dr. Pepper in her car (I was floored!), how she would tell waitresses to call her by her name and not “Hun” or “Sweetie”). She was such a dynamic person, and I hope that I have made her proud. Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.