Earlier this week, I had a discussion with a co-worker that focused on relationships, but it wasn’t a conventional relationship talk, if that makes sense.
He (late 20’s, in a relationship) was stating how he was having a conversation with his sister, and she said that “there are no good black men left. Most are taken, in jail, or gay”. Well, let me back up. I can’t remember if his sister in fact made that statement or if his sister said she heard another woman make that statement. (My memory’s bad.) In any event, I told him that I don’t subscribe to that notion. First, I don’t want to think negatively, because I truly feel that when I do begin to develop a relationship, the thoughts I had pre-relationship will follow me once I get into a relationship. And I do not want to enter that with negative thoughts. Second of all, I know a lot of great black men-I’m related to some, and my friends married others. Of course, I said people only show you what they want you to see, but from my point of view, these were men who loved their wives and children and took care of their families. (Yes, you have dudes who are jerks out there, but that’s not limited just to black men.) And I truly believe that there is a man out there that God has made just for me. Not sure where he is yet, or if we’ve even met, but God made Eve for Adam, so I don’t think that He meant for us to be alone. And by us, I mean my future husband and me.
(So…as I look back over my statements, I can see how some can seem negative…maybe we should call Elle a realist; I take a realistic view at things. No one has time to sugarcoat stuff-I’m getting too old for that. Maybe you can compare me to your 70 year old Aunt Edna, the lady who never bites her tongue and says EXACTLY what’s on her mind. But I’ll still practice a little tact. 😉 )
I’ve always looked at things with the glass being half-full. And I believe that thinking has boded well for me. Even in situations that were not so great and where things seemed dire. For all of my single people, men and women, who are out there and think that there are no good women or men, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. We just have to make sure that we can be a benefit to our mate when he finds us or when you find her. Meaning, we have to make sure we are bringing our best selves to the table. Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!