I know you might be thinking “DUH!” with the title, but with the way things are going with pop culture nowadays, I’m not so sure.
There were numerous things that inspired this post. Earlier this week, TyAnthony and I were having a discussion about the number of African-American children that were born out of wedlock, specifically in the last 5-10 years. Now, before I you all go getting on my case, I KNOW that is a sensitive subject and something we don’t talk about. And at the risk of sounding like “I have tons of black friends, so I can’t be racist”, I have family members, friends, and sorority sisters that fall on both sides of this demographic. Some ended up marrying their child(ren)’s parent while others decided to end their relationship. And because of the sensitivity of this topic and the fact I might offend some people, Ty suggested I shy away from this topic. So I’ll move on.
Another factor was an e-mail I received from friend of SGITC, Paul Carrick Brunson. If you don’t know, Paul is a successful matchmaker, husband, and father of two. This week, Paul made an appearance on “Good Morning America” to discuss the new reality show “Married At First Sight”. Basically, the premise of the show is that four experts (in different fields) pair of couples, the first time they meet each other is when the bride is walking down the aisle, and they are given one month to make things work. If they discover they love each other and everything is honky dory, then the experts did a good job. If they discover they are too different and believe they aren’t a match, they get a divorce.
Lastly, today, LeBron James, star basketball player (for those of you who don’t know who he is), decided to leave the Miami Heat and go back to playing for the Cleveland Cavaliers. Apparently, in an interview some time ago, James stated that he would weigh his decision on whether to stay with Miami and have conversations with his wife and mother to decide what was best. And a number of my friends on Facebook, most who are married, indicated that he had a discussion with Savannah, his wife, and she wanted to go back home. If that is the case, because only LeBron and Savannah know what their discussion was like, if indeed there was one, can confirm if it was a decision based on what would be best for their family.
Marriage is sacred. Marriage is important. Marriage is a partnership. Marriage is about compromising. Marriage is about being unselfish. Marriage is love. And marriage is a lot of other nice words that I could type. I think it’s one thing to date someone on tv (a la “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette”-although the premise the main ‘character’ will marry the last wo/man standing, it’s not a requirement”), but when you have to marry a stranger, and then if things don’t work out after 30 days you can end it, where’s the sanctity in that? Marriage is a commitment. And serious business. And to make it seem frivolous and meaningless on a television show is…pathetic. You know, I get it. There are some people who want to get married and find a lifetime partner, and because of bad dating experiences or relationships that didn’t last think they will never find The One. I’ve had that thought a time or two myself. But I don’t think I could ever marry someone sight unseen.
So what have we learned here today? Marriage isn’t something to play with (to use a term stated numerous times by Southern Dad). It’s about partnership and compromise and love. It is not about reality television and getting a divorce after 30 days if it doesn’t work. Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.