On The Come Up

Earlier last week, my friend…we’ll call her Miss Chi-Town and I were having a discussion about men and women and babies.  Specifically, we were talking about men that get women pregnant on purpose.   Because we live in a “man’s world”, every bad thing that happens is the fault of women.  And I have heard ad nauseum about women who get pregnant on purpose to trap a man.  But what about men that get women pregnant on purpose?

Let’s be honest.  I live in a city where people are educated and have pretty good jobs, or they are on their way to getting a pretty good job.   But, just as there are women doing well, there are men that are looking for a come up, which essentially means they would like to find a woman to take care of them.  Or least lay up in her house for a while.  And what seems to be a surefire way to make that happen is to have a baby.

After reading this article about Omarion, where he got his girlfriend pregnant on purpose, it really just brought this to life for me even more.

If  can be transparent for a minute, I recently met a guy who seemed like he’s cool.  He’s in his late 20’s, divorced, and is a dad.  But, he seems as is if he has no real ambition.  He works at a bar, where we met, 3 days a week.  When I asked him what he does when he’s not working, his response was, “Chill”.  -_- Say what now?  You all may be thinking I’m jumping the gun a little and should give this dude the benefit of the doubt but…I don’t think so.  And I’ll tell you why.  A few weekends ago, homeboy (let’s call him A.J.) asked if I had any plans.  I told him I was free until around 6 pm.  He stated he and his homeboy wanted to watch the Wizards game.  I asked where they were trying to go, thinking he wanted to meet and hang out with me.  He said, “We wanted to come to your place.”  SAY WHAT NOW?  Now, A.J. and I had yet to go out (due to my going home for a few weeks), and we’ve only talked on the phone.  Not to mention I’m not letting two strangers know where I live.  Not mention I care about my safety.  I told him, “Yeah…I don’t let just anyone come to the Batcave.”

Needless to say, A.J. and I never did have that first date…and we may not ever have it.

I totally think men use women for come-uppance ALL the time.  I think it was shown on “Being Mary Jane” with Avery and Andre, and I have read stories about this happening in real life.   So, to all of you in this crazy dating world, good luck to you!  And be wary of people looking to use you to advance themselves but not offering to bring anything to the table.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

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