He Hasn’t Called…Yet (An Update)

A hard head makes a soft behind…

After speaking with a good friend of mine, who has gotten married and had a baby within the last two years, I decided to follow-up on Jonathan.  Hey, following up with a potential suitor worked out great for her.  Anywho…

On Saturday, I called my groom-to-be friend-let’s call him Brad.  After getting the pleasantries out of the way, I asked Brad what was up with his friend Jonathan.   Brad had read last week’s post but had NO clue I was talking about his brunch.  (SMH, men…) Well, Brad said Jonathan was a good guy, and it was ironic that I called him because he and Jonathan had plans later that night.  So he had no problem asking Jonathan what he thought about me.  During our discussion, Brad mentioned we were ALL feeling happy during the brunch (there were unlimited mimosas, and our waitress may have been a little heavy handed) and that might be attributed to why Jonathan asked for my number-because we were all feeling a little friendly.  Possibly Jonathan hasn’t had a chance to call me due to a busy schedule. Or maybe he didn’t think of me in an “I’m interested” way but maybe in an “Elle is cool people” way.  I told Brad NOT to embarass me, which he assured me he would not do.  We even discussed doing a follow-up post, regardless of Jonathan’s response.  So I’m sure you all are wondering what happened…

Turns out, Jonathan is not interested in Elle; he got my number just to increase his contacts/make connections in DC, so is the reason Brad told me.  And I believe him.  Because if Jonathan WERE interested, he would have called a LONG time ago.  Oh, and he still hasn’t reached out.  But I’m ok with that.  Honestly, as I said to Brad during our conversation, my life is about to get so crazy now that I probably won’t have the time to seriously date anyone.

If, and that’s a BIG if, Jonathan calls, I’ll chat with him.  Besides, every girl needs someone that she can call on to be a Go To Guy.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

 

I Am Not Mary Jane

Tonight is the season finale of “Being Mary Jane”. This show has sparked much conversation in regards to black women and how we are portrayed on television. Some people are impressed with the strong heroine, admire her for having a great job and being a career woman, for helping her family in their times of need-despite their bad decision making, for being financially independent, and for just being a go-getter. On the other hand, you have those who are disgusted, upset, and pissed off with this character. As I stated in my review of the movie that premiered last summer, I was happy to see a character like her…but at the end of the movie, I was totally disgusted when she saved David’s sperm. And that was just the beginning of how any similarities between MJ and myself began to deteriorate. She began making awful decisions. From going back to Andre, her married boyfriend, to having a pissing contest with Avery, Andre’s wife, I realized that I am not Mary Jane (despite BET’s attempt to encourage women from all walks of life to send in videos proclaiming “I am Mary Jane”).

But, let’s not forget this is a fictional show; though, suffice it to say, I’m sure there a few people out there that can relate to a few scenarios. Let’s be real for a second. We put SO much pressure on writers and directors and producers to show black people in general, black women in particular, in positive lights. There was even a post how the world has evolved from Claire Huxtable to Mary Jane Paul. We slam these women on “Real Housewives of Atlanta” and “Basketball Wives” for fighting and cursing and basically just being an embarassment. We villify them for not setting positive examples and being roles models for young girls and young women. But…shouldn’t WE be doing that? The woman that goes to work everyday. The woman that volunteers with non-profit organizations in her city. The woman that teaches Sunday school. The woman that serves on the city council. The woman that teaches chemistry and math and English. The woman that is a great neighbor that speaks to everyone and helps keep the streets clean. My point is, if we, the women that these children see and interact with everyday, are doing what WE should be doing, these young women would not look to a tv character, whether she’s on a scripted show or a “reality” show, to figure out how to become a woman and a lady. She would view you-her mother, her mentor, her teacher, her neighbor-to decide what makes a woman. Yes, we are all flawed, and that’s fine. But should our aim in life be to become a caricature character we see on television?

I mean, I am not Mary Jane Paul; but I am not Claire Huxtable, either.

Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

He Hasn’t Called…Yet

Two Sundays ago, I went to the engagement brunch of a couple of which I’m friendly with both parties, but I met the groom-to-be first and am somewhat a closer friend to him than the bride-to-be. I knew NO ONE else at the brunch. But, as luck would have it, I ended up sitting with some fellow South Carolinians, and as more luck would have it, we knew a few of the same people. One young lady and I are from the same (small) city. There was a guy I ended up sitting next to-let’s call him Jonathan. Though there were about 5 of us that kept conversing throughout the brunch, there were times Jonathan and I would have our own private conversations, most of which were initiated by him.

It started to snow (darn you, DC winter!), so everyone starts to scramble to pay their bills and get home before the weather gets bad. After I took a picture with the happy couple (I had to post the good news on Instagram), Jonathan asks for my number. He pulls out his phone, types in my number, AND asks for my last name. Jonathan’s cute, is tall, and has a deep voice, so I’m kinda excited he’s interested. And I can only gather that he’s interested, because HE asked for my number AND went through the trouble of saving it in his phone AND asked for my last name. I mean, that means he’s interested in me, right?

Well, it’s been almost two weeks, and I haven’t heard from Jonathan. Because I overanalyze everything, I begin to think he’s not interested and he’s not gonna call. Or maybe all of his contacts got erased from his phone and he lost my number. Or maybe I should stop tripping and ask for somebody to decipher the guy code. So what do I do? Of course I go to TyAnthony. I give him the scenario and ask why he wouldn’t call. He let me know that sometimes guys ask for a number for sport. He also said he may call-just to give him 2 weeks. My response is, “So he’s not interested? And what am I supposed to do after two weeks?” Ty said he would not have asked for my number if he wasn’t interested; he just may not be as interested as I want him to be. And not to do anything after 2 weeks; I shouldn’t be chasing dudes. Honestly, I swear he must be able to read my mind, because I was seriously thinking about going to my friend and asking about Jonathan. But based on the advice I received, I’ll let it go.

If it’s meant to be, he’ll call. If not, it’s back to the drawing board. Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

Here We Go Again…

You know, Michael Dunn may spend the rest of his life in prison, but Jordan Davis still has not received justice. And as Southern Dad pointed out to me this weekend after the jury came back with a verdict on 4 of the 5 counts Dunn was charged with, Dunn’s punishment for his misdeed may not come on this Earth, but it will come from the Lord. While I know he is right, I find it completely unfathomable that he (Dunn) could not be found guilty of murdering an unarmed CHILD but found guilty of attempted second degree murder. As I mentioned in my personal Facebook page, I think the prosecution overcharged Dunn; I think he should have been charged with second degree murder. And Angela Corey, the state attorney, mentioned that the state intends to re-try Dunn for the murder of Davis, but they (the prosecution) will speak with Jordan’s family before moving forward.

Lucia McBath, the mother of Jordan Davis, has the right idea; she has said that she will pray for Dunn and his family. Would it not be amazing if we ALL thought as she? Without having hate or malice in our hearts. Although the state of Florida plans to re-try Dunn, is it worth it? As long as he does not become free after any appeals, which he plans on doing, he is likely to spend the rest of his life in prison. Should the state use time and resources to do this all over again? I honestly don’t know. Hopefully, if Dunn does appeal his convictions, they will not be overturned, and he will have to spend the rest of his days in jail.

Lastly, I’m going to share some names with you, and I hope you all do a Google search – Oscar Grant, Sean Bell, Amadou Diallo, and Hadiya Pendleton. And let’s not forget Jonathan Ferrell and Renisha McBride. Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

It’s A New Day

There is a LOT going on in Elle’s world.  I’m on the cusp of so many life decisions and things that I want to do.  As Southern Dad told me a few months ago, I’m not getting any younger and it’s time I start to get settled in some things.  Meh, not sure I totally agree with that, but I’ll see what I can do! 🙂

Yes, it’s true I’m getting older, but I feel that as long as I’m not responsible for anyone but myself, I can change my mind on a whim if something doesn’t fit my fancy.  It may seem a little shallow, whimsical, or like I don’t know what I want/what I’m doing, but I’m ok with that…to a degree.  That’s probably why I’m always hesitant to tell my friends/family my plans. Because the next thing you know, they’re asking you how’s the planning for such-and-such going?  I STILL having people talking to me about law school. -_-  I think it’s ok if we change our mind and decide we want to do something different.  It shows that we aren’t stagnant and that we continue to grow and evolve and change.  But, because I like stability I’m not changing all willy-nilly.  Before I make any major life decision, I make sure my ducks are in a row.

For example, on this particular day, I have decided what I want to accomplish for 2014.  My vision board is complete, and now I have to do things in order to realize my visions.  For example, I have decided to seriously work on opening and starting my business.  I have the proper reading materials in place, and my next steps are to do the legal legwork to make it legit.  Not to mention this is a field where I do not have a ton of experience, so I need to do my research/interning/speaking with experts to get all of the knowledge that reading a book isn’t going to teach.

Secondly, as a way to get healthier and in better shape, I’ve decided to do a juice fast/cleanse.  I’m pretty excited about it, and my lunch (kale, strawberries, pineapples, apples, and blackberries) is SO yummy!  I’m excited to try out these other recipes I have and create some of my own.  I’m easing in to this fast, based on the side effects that I have read come along with only juicing.  But I have an awesome support group, so I know I can do this and stay committed.

So while it may seem like your friend/cousin/girlfriend is all over the place, maybe she isn’t.  Maybe she knows EXACTLY what she wants to do and is doing it.  And if you start to do something and it turns out to be something you didn’t expect, that’s ok.  Keep working at finding what works and fits for you and the life you want to live.  Because at the end of the day, the only person’s happiness that matters is yours.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!