Don’t Date (Or Be) This Guy

Awhile back, I ventured back into the abyss that is online dating, at the prodding of a co-worker. (Note to self: Never listen to him again!) Amidst the messages from men that I was not interested in, I received a message from an attractive gentleman who could communicate using the King’s English, was attractive, was a nice age (35), and seemed to have his stuff together.  During our messaging, I discovered we were from the same area in SC and he had just moved to Maryland from Atlanta for work.  He eventually asked me for my number, we chatted by phone, and made plans to meet at a local coffee shop.  When we met, we didn’t go get in line to get a latte, as I had imagined. No, he directed me towards a table, where we sat and chit-chatted.  (Strike 1-I found it quite odd we didn’t even get in line.  Homeboy made a beeline for an empty table.  I get it, though; some guys don’t want to invest a lot for the first meeting/date…but he definitely got a slight side eye since he couldn’t (or wouldn’t) even purchase a beverage.)

He texted me the next day and asked when he could see me again.  My response was when would you like to see me again.  His response?  “I want to feel your lips on me.  What do you think about that?”  I swear I can’t make this stuff up.  (Strike 2- Sir, seriously???  You couldn’t even buy your girl a cup of coffee, and you’re already talking about getting cozy.  Chile, boo!)  I stated “I think you’re jumping the gun and you didn’t answer my question.”  He apologized and stated that he was a straightforward guy.   After getting over that hurdle, we chatted some more, and finally made plans to go out for a drink when our schedules synced up.

I picked the place, as he is not that familiar with the area.  As we greet each other at the entrance, he tells me that he may have to step out for a few minutes because he is supposed to get a call from work.  When we walk in, he has the hostess sit us at a table instead of at the bar.  Not only that, when we are seated, I pick up the drink menu-he starts looking at the food menu. (Strike 3- All week he kept talking about going out for a drink.  So, sir, why are you looking at food???)  He orders an appetizer AND an entree.  I order a salad. We have decent dialogue, we laugh a little, but I can tell something is slightly off.  But because I have been told NUMEROUS times by those who know that I question everything and have to take the lead, I decide to relax, sit back, and let things happen. In essence, I give up control, which for a control freak like me who likes to know everything that’s going on is hard to do.

Once we have finished dinner, he asks me if I’m going to order a drink.  I’m thinking that’s a good sign and he wants to hang out and talk some more;  he’s totally interested.  As I decide what I want, he picks up his phone and informs me that work is calling, and he has to step out.  He tells me to order, and he’ll order his drink when he gets back.  I order and check my phone for missed calls and e-mails.  A few minutes after he walks out, he sends me a text that reads, “Thanks for dinner.  Work called like I said so I have to leave but the next meet is on me.”  O_O Say what now???  Really?  REALLY?!?!?  I quickly call my waiter back, cancel my drink, and ask for the check.

I know you’re probably wondering what I did when I left. I did what any red-blooded American woman would do.  I went to the nearest cupcake shop, picked up dessert, and drove my tail home.  I did not text him.  I did not call him.  I wanted to scream, cuss him out, send him a nasty message, and call him everything but a child of God.  For a number of reasons.  But, the most important thing that ran through my head-what type of b*tch-a$$ man sends a text message and doesn’t come back inside?  And I feel some type of way about saying that…but it’s how I felt at the moment.  After much speculation, I (along with some other cohorts) decided that it was his plan all along to be dirty and conniving, most likely because he’s a man who’s been scorned by women in the past.  And I just happened to be the unfortunate soul who received his little move of vengeance.  I won’t put his government here, but I will share that his initials are RD and he works for a railroad company…

Now, some of you may be giving me a major side eye for putting ol’ dude on blast.  Well, I’ll tell you why I am.  First, I’m a blogger-more importantly, a storyteller. And this is a story that needed to be told and shared with the masses. Secondly, I don’t want another woman to fall for the same trick I did.  So if this helps at least one woman out, my mission has been accomplished.  Last, I’m sharing this because of a quote I read that was posted by A Belle in Brooklyn.  It states, “You own everything that happened to you.  Tell your stories.  If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.”

The great thing about this situation is that even though it happened last week, I’m definitely not bitter or upset or angry.  I find it somewhat comical.  Yes, I was thoroughly pissed when it happened, but hey, what’s done is done.  Oh, I know you’re probably wondering if RD called or texted me since then.  No, he has not.  (As the old people say, “He ain’t all the way crazy”.)  I don’t expect to hear from him again, which is probably in his best interest.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

P.S. – Now do you see why I am on my dating hiatus again?

P.S. Redux – If you don’t see what was wrong in these series of events… I have no words for you…

P.S. x 3 – The “strikes” indicate moments where he got a side-eye in my head or when I should have stopped or questioned what was going on.  But in my effort to be more relaxed, I stayed mute.


  1. My jaw has dropped. I promise that he’s surprised that you didn’t call him. I bet that he’s even regretful but too chicken $@/t to say so. But you are right, this is definitely a good story to tell and that fool needed to be put on blast. There is a gentleman out there grateful that he did that because it means he has a chance to treat you in a manner you ought to be treated.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s