In December, a friend of a friend posted something on Facebook that inspired me so much that I wrote it down. In essence, she was stating how as women, we are taught to plan and strategize for our professional careers. But the main thing that God ordained for people-marriage-we let happen by chance. We don’t plan and prepare for our mate; we just let the chips fall where they may. I have no issue saying I want to be in a relationship and one day hope to be married. And while I do not know if God will keep me in DC, I know that’s where I am now. But what if my future mate isn’t?
I can think of two relationships from the top of my head where each party lived in a different city. One couple has been married for a few years. Before their marriage, they lived thousands of miles away from each other. Once they became husband and wife, they wanted to live in their hometown, but due to the husband not being able to find a job in his field, the wife moved to where he lived. The other couple just became engaged, and the woman moved to where her fiancee lives. I have thought and joked around MANY times that my future husband is not in DC. And what if I’m right? I clearly do not plan on moving every 3-5 years just to potentially meet my husband. But would that be completely foolish or would it be strategic planning? If I don’t move to where he is or he doesn’t move to DC, am I just supposed to be content with never getting married? Or end up getting married for the wrong reasons?
I totally believe that God has this perfect person for me. And I have no problem (well, maybe slight impatience) waiting on him. I’m not saying I want to be married tomorrow. I’m just saying I would at least like to know who my husband is and begin building our relationship. Hopefully he’ll cross my path soon if we don’t already know each other. Maybe we’ll meet on one of the vacations I have planned this summer. Or maybe we’ll meet when he visits his boys in DC.
In the meantime while I’m waiting for him to find me, I’ll continue living my life. I’ll prepare to celebrate my birthday, for my crowning as Ms. DC Exquisite 2013, for the trips I have planned (and the ones I’m thinking about planning), and on becoming a better Elle. With anything in life, you have to prepare and plan. You wouldn’t go into a job interview without planning the right suit to wear or what time you need to leave your home to make sure you arrive on time or researching the company or thinking about what questions they might ask you. It’s the same for a mate. I need to plan to meet him, so when God does allow our paths to cross, I’ll be ready. In a sermon I once heard, the pastor stated if you ARE ready you don’t have to worry about GETTING ready. Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.
- Dear Future Husband (ruthrutherford.wordpress.com)
- What Does Being Single Mean To God? [Exclusive Video] (praiserichmond.com)
- For the Thirty-Somethings: The Marriage Issue (samepageteam.com)
I am writing a book on this, so I don’t have to write a book in your comments section, LOL. I think you have the right approach. They say success is when preparation meets opportunity, and it never hurts to be prepared. Great post, Elle!
Thank you! And I can’t wait to read your book!
I met my husband at a conference in Boston. I was living in New Orleans at the time. We didn’t see each other for a couple of years and then we met up again at another conference in Atlanta. From there that was all she wrote. You never know…
YES, i totally feel you on this!
Women and men to invest more time on improving themselves. If you are taking care of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, you have a great chance of linking up with that special someone. Most of the folk I know who struggle in their dating lives are lacking in one of the four aforementioned areas, and they KNOW they are lacking. Most of them do very little to improve and they are stuck in the same dating rut. There are clearly other factors at play. One could have it all together and still not be able to find a suitable mate. Work schedules and other life responsibilities may be legit reasons for why one is not able to have a serious relationship.
The Lord does things in His time. If you stay true to His Word and dedicate time to improve your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual self, things will work out for the best.