Last weekend, I saw Tyler Perry’s new movie “Temptation” with a few of my cousins.  While the movie wasn’t the greatest thing I’ve seen, it definitely had some lessons to be learned.  I’ll try not to tell the whole movie (actually if you have a desire to see the movie, you may want to skip this), but as you can guess, a happily married woman has an affair.  Drama and mayhem ensue. People get hurt.  The End.  Harley, The Other Man, was an attractive, confident (and cocky), smooth talking, chocolate-y scrumptious, wealthy man.  He was also conniving, manipulative, ruthless, and narcissistic.  Harley was able to get into Judith’s head.  He preyed on her insecurities.  He saw an opening and forced himself in.  And, most importantly, he would not take no for an answer.  No matter how many times Judith said “No” and resisted temptation, Harley would continue to pop up and work on the seduction.  Even after they had sex (the first time) and Judith stated she didn’t want to see Harley again, he continued to keep popping up.  Judith finally fell victim to Harley, for good.  She became a completely different person. She changed her style of dress. She disrespected her mother.  She left her husband.  She even became a drug addict.

Men who are like Harley mean women no good.  Their goal is to conquer.  They’ll get you at first by being a smooth talker, telling you what you want to hear, and giving you things.  They’ll promise you passion beyond your wildest dreams.  But at the end of the day, they can become mean and controlling.  Watching this movie made me think of “Scandal”. (I know, I know-don’t judge me.)  During their official break-up, Liv told Edison that she wanted a love that was filled with passion and pain.  Edison’s response was that love should be full of passion but it should not hurt.  And he couldn’t be more right.  Yes, Judith’s husband, Brice, took her for granted, and they were getting along to get along, but at the end of the day, Brice loved her.  Ladies, don’t get blinded by the shiny lights.  The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

The greatest thing you can do for yourself and your relationship is to tell your mate if something isn’t working.  If he chooses to ignore it, that’s when you leave.  You don’t make a bad situation worse by lying to your mate to go do things with someone else you know you shouldn’t be doing.  And not only that, when someone shows you his crazy, believe him.  Harley showed Judith multiple signs of his crazy, but she chose to ignore it.  Don’t get so caught up in the promises that one is making that you also throw away bad.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.