Confirmation

Sometimes in life, we may regret a decision we made- going to the wrong school, buying a size 6 when we KNOW we should have gotten an 8, and yes, even dating the wrong person.  I would be lying if I said I didn’t have regrets- working during summer breaks at FAMU instead of interning for a law firm or politician, telling a certain guy “No”, telling a certain guy “Yes”, and yes, sometimes I regret telling Antonio not to contact me anymore.

Last night, I had an awesome conversation with TyAnthony.  I know that if I need somebody to bring me back down to earth, he can do it.  For the record, I did call Southern Cousin, but she didn’t answer her phone… Anywho, I relayed to TyAnthony that I think I made a mistake telling Antonio not to contact me anymore, and maybe, just maybe, I should reach out to him.  My logic was, a month has passed, feelings have simmered down, and maybe we could see where we stood.  I was willing to look over the fact that Antonio was not always a person of his word, that he would disappear for days at a time, and that he wasn’t an effective communicator.  (And by effective communicator I mean he would say one thing and do another.)  But in all of this, there were multiple signs all week that I encountered that confirmed I actually made the right choice, and I needed to stick with it.  The main thing was a friend on Facebook shared a status update that basically stated we, as women, have a tendency to get wrapped up/attracted to/care for men that don’t reciprocate those feelings.  And before we know it, we’re all involved with him and sacrificing ourselves when those feelings and actions are on a one way street.  So, to protect our hearts, we need to leave and allow the right man to come into our lives that will appreciate all that we have to give.  And that’s exactly what I did because I felt myself liking a guy that I felt wasn’t what I needed in my life.  Even after ALL of this, I still wanted to talk to him.

In my head, as I was calling Southern Cousin (twice) and Ty last night, my rationale was that if neither of them answered, that was a sign that I was supposed to call Antonio.  And wouldn’t you guess, Ty answered.  He definitely imparted some words of wisdom.  The first thing he said was only bad things can come from an idle mind.  And my mind was definitely idle last night.  It also is probably not helping that it’s colder than crap outside, and my social life is lacking right now… Ty also shared that Antonio may not want to talk to me after I told him not to contact me anymore, even if I was the one to make the call.  Basically, I need to just let this go and move on.

If you ever think you made the wrong decision, ask God to show you some signs.  But you have to be careful and ensure that the signs are coming from the right place.  If you’re not careful, you could make the wrong choice and have things end up worse than they already were.  My goal is to work on my social calendar and find some things to give me something (positive) to do.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!