Thankfully, I’ve never been a victim of domestic violence. Unfortunately, I know people that have. With the recent news regarding the deaths of Kasi Perkins and Selina Brown, my heart has been heavy. These women, both mothers and in their early 20s, were killed within a week of each other by the fathers of their daughters. However, their killers will never seek justice. Both men ended their own lives.
Something needs to be done to teach these boys how to control their anger. It’s almost too late when they become adults because they’ve become accustomed to being violent and aggressive. I’m not a psychologist by any means and I do not claim to be an expert, but I think aggressive behavior may come from a multitude of areas. One could be a boy that grows up in a household where he saw an aggressive, angry male hitting his mother, his sister, or another female family member. Heck, the boy himself could have been a victim. Another issue could be the child is angry; why-I don’t know. But in his anger, instead of lashing out at those around him, whether it be physical or verbal, he needs to be exposed to a constructive way to handle being angry.
Parents play an integral role in the development of their child. Their presence, or lack thereof, has a lasting effect on their offspring. Some may wonder if a parent is not dispensing good habits or positivity to their child, should they be an active participant in their upbringing.
I’m sort of going off on a tangent, so let me circle back. Earlier this week, when I read about this story regarding Selina and other victims, I was brought to tears. It’s not enough for a woman to want to end a relationship; now, she has to worry about her life and the lives of her children. This story prompted me to reach out to friends to help me sponsor a family that has been victimized by domestic violence. I’m happy my friends agreed to help me make Christmas enjoyable for a mother and her children. And it is my goal in 2013 to volunteer on a regular basis with an organization that helps these families.
Sad to say, these stories are not new. Women are terrorized everyday by a lover or ex-lover. I do hope that we keep these discussions going and find a way to help children so they don’t grow up to be abusers OR victims. While we are doing something for the victims, I want to think of ways to diminish the number of women who are victims of domestic violence. What can we do so that these types of relationships become obsolete? This time of year is a time for celebration, family, and good cheer. If you’re able, I ask you all to purchase a toy for a child or a gift for a mother. All some women want is to end a relationship, not be in fear of their lives. Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.
Southern Girl in the City 
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