KeKe, That Ain’t Cool

I’ve found another reality show to watch.  (I know, I know, deep sigh.)  Last week, TVOne premiered its new show “R&B Divas”, featuring 5 songtresses from the ’90s led by Faith Evans.  Unlike most shows that are now on and feature women of African descent, these women aren’t fighting each other.  They all get along, serve as a support system for each other, AND they actually have a talent.  I know…SHOCKER!!!  While everything seems to be peachy keen, there is one lady that bothers me,  KeKe Wyatt.

Some of you may know KeKe as the woman who stabbed her husband about 10 years ago, forgetting that she’s the woman with the dynamic voice singing with Avant on “My First Love”.  If you’ve watched this show, you know that KeKe is now re-married to pastor-in-training Micheal and is expecting her sixth child.  You also know that wherever KeKe is, Michael is sure to follow.  The turmoil that happened in her previous marriage has affected KeKe’s current relationship, and she went into detail last night.  Her first husband, while he was always gone and out of the house, lied to and cheated on her.  So to combat that, she forces Michael to go wherever she goes and to not have friends of his own.  And amid her claims of abuse from her first husband (she stabbed him in self-defense), KeKe exhibits abusive behavior towards her husband.  On last night’s episode, while at the fashion show for Nicci Gilbert’s fashion line, KeKe smacks Michael in the face after he says something with which she doesn’t agree.

Now, there are SO many things that need addressing, so I’ll attempt to be brief.  I feel that I have the right to use them as an example for a number of reasons.  One, they put themselves on national television to be viewed by millions of people.  Two, sometimes people need to see something in living color to fully comprehend what may be going on in their own lives. Now, I’ve talked about abuse before and it being something that Black people don’t talk about.  KeKe is abusive towards her husband.  Yep, I said it.  She’s emotionally abusive.  He’s not allowed (I hate using that word for grown people) to have friends, and he’s not allowed to go anywhere without her.  KeKe went off on last night’s episode when a woman came into the studio and stood “too close” to her husband.  And we’ve seen her be physically abusive towards him with the slap in the face.  Some of you may think that’s no big deal, but isn’t that how physical brutality starts-with something small until it escalates?

KeKe’s insecurities have lead her to act this way.  The truly sad thing is that they are teaching this behavior to their children.  KeKe definitely should have sought therapy after her first marriage so she wouldn’t bring these feelings of doubt, fear, and control to her current relationship.  And I’m sure Michael loves her, that’s why he allows himself to be treated this way.  But when he completes his theological degree, what church is going to hire him as pastor?  I made mention on Facebook last night that I would not want to be a member of his church because he follows his wife, not the Lord.

Yes, the other women make suggestions about KeKe hanging out with them without Michael, but she’s not having it.  They either have to have them both, or she won’t come around.  With KeKe keeping a leash on Michael, the very thing that she is trying to avoid could happen.  He could leave her.

I hope this show serves as a mirror for KeKe, and she can see how unhealthy this type of controlling relationship is.  And I hope she can change her ways.  And would you believe she’s only 30???  (Yeah, I think that’s totally wrong).  To any one reading this that is in this type of relationship, I implore you to make strides to get out and seek help.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

The Plight of the Single Girl

Southern Mom came to visit this weekend, and as we ate breakfast before church yesterday, we watched re-runs of “Sex and the City”.  (I’m sure there’s something totally wrong with that statement.)  One episode in particular stood out.  I don’t recall the name but it guest starred Tatum O’Neal as a married friend of Carrie’s with kids that had a baby shower (I think).  Guests are asked to remove their shoes upon entry.  After all of the fun is had, Carrie is set to leave, only to find out that her Manolos are missing. After some hemming and hawing, the friend reluctantly replaces Carrie’s $485 shoes.  And while the friend complains about Carrie’s wasteful spending of her money, Carrie has some complaints of her own.  She points out that single gals have to “pay” for the come-uppance of their friends- bridal showers, weddings, baby showers, etc.  So why shouldn’t her friend have to replace her shoes?  As Carrie pointed out, she didn’t ask to take her shoes off and leave them at the door.

This conversation led to the discussion that I had with my mom regarding how much time and money is spent on celebrating milestones in my friends’ lives.  Not only did I go to school out of state, but I don’t live in my hometown.  And most of my closest friends don’t live in my hometown or the District.  So, not only do I have to spend money on travel, but a hotel as well.  And a gift.  God forbid I’m actually IN the wedding. (Thankfully, a very close friend of mine is only having her sister as her Maid of Honor, so all I have to do is show up at the wedding next August.)

Let’s not forget my friends who decide to expand their families.  I can’t count how many baby showers (and now kids’ birthday parties) I’ve been invited/gone to.  I absolutely LOVE kids, and a little part of me gets excited when my friends’ kids recognize me and yell “Miss Elle!!!” or run and give me a hug when they see me.  But let’s be real-I have absolutely NO business being at a 2 year old’s birthday party.  I’m single, childless, and not family.  Can’t I just mail a gift???

Lest we not forget co-workers.  After spending 5 years with my company in Florida, I can’t tell you how many wedding showers and baby showers I’ve contributed to and/or helped coordinate.  And although I’ve been at my current company for about 6 months, we’ve had 2 baby showers and a wedding shower/luncheon.

I don’t want my friends or reading audience to take this the wrong way.  I’m not complaining (well maybe venting a little).  Because truth be told, if I didn’t want to do these things, I wouldn’t do them.  I’m extremely happy for my friends, and if I am financially and physically able, I will always be there to support them.  But when I sit down and think about it, it’s a little eye opening to consider the time and money spent on someone else’s happiness.  I just hope when the shoe is on the other foot that my friends won’t disappear.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

3rd Annual Midsummer Night’s Dream

 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Date: June 24, 2012

DC’s Premiere Artist Publicist

Contact: Sandro & Tati | T: 202-841-6441

press@theartsoiree.com | http://www.theartsoiree.com

3rd  ANNUAL MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM

SUNDAY, AUGUST 12th  2012 | 7PM-12AM

Midsummer Night’s celebration of Washington Harbour’s new fountain with fantasy body art show and theatrical performances.

Washington, DC—This August Art Soiree, Nick’s Riverside Grill, Tony & Joe’s Restaurant, Roche Salon, MRP Realty at Washington Harbour, and a group of talented local artists use the magic of art to transform the heart of Georgetown into an enchanted wonderland of Midsummer Night’s Dream. Locals and guests of town are invited to celebrate the summer and immerse into a fantastic, fairy-laden setting of color, art, music and performance Sunday, August 12th at Washington Harbour, Georgetown Waterfront, Nick’s Riverside Grill 3050 K Street NW, Washington DC.

This will be a follow up show to the infamous Art Metamoprhosis Gala that took place June 14, 2012 at the Washington Harbour attracting over 3,500 people including DC Mayor Vincent C. Gray. This time, the Harbour complex will highlight in all its beauty with the Bellagio-style dancing fountain in action and painted canvases coming to life. Thirty different model creations painted by some of the best local artists, with whimsical hair pieces created by Roche Salon, will walk in a fantasy runway show. The night will include a musical program featuring live performance by DJ FoTiFo accompanied by live cello, saxophone and trumpet improvisations and graphic video installations of Riki Kim. The highlight of the evening will be live performance by DC’s premier physical theater–SYNETIC THEATER, with pieces from the upcoming season’s program and favorites from the past.

ARTISTS:

Kim Reyes, Katya Krupko, Vian Shamounki, Shanna Lim, Mounir Afrangi, Abramowitz Jeremy, Margret Kroyer, Jamie Delawder, Nancy Flores, Seb Lorenzo, Natalie Cartner, Nena Nicoli, Tania Kabir, David Camero.

Date: August 12th 2012 7pm – 12am Location: 3050 K Street NW, Washington DC

7:15PM– DJ FoTiFo feat live cello, saxophone and trumpet improvisations atop the fountain tower

7:45PM– Synetic Theater performance in the courtyard

8:30PM– Live drums performance by KAMAJIAN and whimsical show by TRIFECTA group

9:00PM– Model Fantasy Runway Show in the courtyard 10:00PM – Yvetter Rivers Jazz Quartet at

 10:00PM Yvetter Rivers Jazz Quartet at Tony & Joe’s and DJ with video projections at Nick’s Riverside Grill

Nick’s Riverside Grill and Tony & Joe’s Seafood Restaurants will be open for food and beverage service.

Tickets: $10 – 20 available at http://artsoiree-midsummernight2012.eventbrite.com/

Parking: Free street parking; Garage parking available at Washington Harbour’s Colonial Garage at 3000 K Street

Portion of the proceeds benefiting SYNETIC THEATER

http://www.synetictheater.org

Synetic is a non-profit 501 (c)(3) organization, founded in 2001 by the husband and wife team of Paata and Irina Tsikurishvili. It is DC’s Premier Physical Theater, whose mission is to be the premier American physical theater, fusing dynamic art forms—such as text, drama, movement, acrobatics, dance, and music, by producing world-class physical theater for all ages. Synetic has received a total of 92 Helen Hayes Award nominations and 24 Awards.

Midsummer Night’s Dream event is part of the Art Soiree’s greater artistic events program with mission of enriching lives with art, while promoting local talents.

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ABOUT ART SOIREE™

Founded in September 2009 by two ambitious art lovers, Art Soiree’s goal has been to showcase emerging talent in the visual arts, short film, music, literature and performance art. With a mission to cultivate a greater awareness, understanding and appreciation of art in its many forms through production of multiple art events Art Soiree has become DC’s premier artist publicist. Offering its services to artists on a fee and commission free basis, Art Soiree is a limited liability company that uses its for-profit efficiencies to achieve socially beneficial goals and support local arts and charitable organizations. http://www.theartsoiree.com

Get Over Yourselves

The past few weeks in America have been hair-raising, to say the least.  We’ve had the shooting at the theater in Colorado, the uproar over the comments from Dan Cathy, and America has been kicking butt in the Olympics.  But, as usual, you can count on somebody having something negative to say. 

First, let’s start with Dan Cathy, the President and COO of Chick-Fil-A, which happens to be one of my favorite places to eat.  It’s funny that I love and hate the fact that they are closed on Sundays, which is one of the rare few days out of the week when I have some extra time on my hands because I’m not dealing with traffic.  And it always seem that my taste for Polynesian sauce and waffle fries hits after Sunday worship.  So a few weeks ago, when asked how he felt about gay marriage, Mr. Cathy stated that he believed marriage was between a man and a woman. He didn’t say he didn’t like gay people-he didn’t say gay people can’t eat his establishment-he didn’t say gay people can’t work at Chick-Fil-A.  But apparently, people are upset.  As I have viewed numerous times on my FB timeline, what did people expect him to say?  He’s a Christian man who’s the president of a company that is closed on Sunday.  And correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t the books that come with the kids’ meal have some type of Christian story?  He wasn’t disrespectful, and he wasn’t rude.  He didn’t say they discriminate against anyone, they won’t serve gay people, and he didn’t say they would never work for his organization.  Honestly, people will find anything to get pissed about.  People got into an uproar when President Obama stated he supports gay marriage.  This just goes to show people will never be happy and will always find something to complain about.  Get over yourselves, people!

Gabrielle Douglas flew under the Olympic radar and not only won the Gold medal with her team, but she also won the Best All-Around.  The talented, bright girl is living out her dreams and represented this country very well.  So can someone please tell me why we’re talking about her hair??? Really, folks?  This girl is doing cartwheels and flips in the air, and you’re concerned with how her hair looks?  Let’s put this in perspective.  It doesn’t matter what her hair looks like.  When you’re working out, is every strand of hair on your head in place?  Probably not.  Let’s not forget this is a 16 year old CHILD!  As adults, the best we can do is to pick on a child?  Let’s focus on the positives. 

So, that’s my rant for the day.  If you want to respond to one or both, feel free.  Have some rants of your own?  Share them in the comments section.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

I Need to Step My Game Up

Forgive me; it’s been a while since I have posted.  I’ve been busy, but that’s really no reason to neglect you all.  Plus, I love writing.  I’ve just been worn out. In any event, I’ll go on with what this post is related to.  And if you guessed dating, you would be correct. (I mean, do I really talk about anything else??? :))

I make it no secret that I’m ready to be in a relationship.  Or at the very least have a steady date each weekend and some arm candy on special occasions.  Thought I had that/was working towards it, but that has fizzled out.  A few weeks back, I attended a happy hour sponsored by a local non-profit.  If I may say so myself, I was looking good.  I was sporting my new ‘do, my face was flawless, and my dress was cute.  And yes, I had on flat sandals.  And if you know me, you know I HATE wearing heels.  (Which is actually a new development since I moved to DC.  Before when I would go out, I would ALWAYS have a pair…anyway, I digress…)  Although everyone commented on how nice I looked, one comment stood out.  An acquaintance, whom I have known since I was a freshman at FAMU, stated, “I know you’re trying to catch a man; you need to have some heels on.”  I waved him off.  Not only because I didn’t agree with his comment, but because what does he know?  (And how did I know I was ready to be found? -My Bible readers and Christians will get that.-)

Later on in the week, I spoke with a new acquaintance.  He’s attractive.  Nice height, intelligent, and not bad to look at.  Since I’m nosy, and was fishing for information, I asked him if he was dating anyone.  He said, “No.”  So I offered to play matchmaker.  -Pause-  I did this to find out what type of woman he’s attracted to.  Unfortunately for him, the two ladies that he had his eye on at the happy hour aren’t available.  Both are my friends; one is a newlywed and the other is apparently a lesbian. (Yeah, I was shocked to find that out at the happy hour, and that’s definitely a post for another day.)  While both women are attractive, they look nothing, I mean NOTHING, alike.  When he was discussing my newlywed friend, he described her as “Claire Huxtable”.  The one main thing I remember about her that evening was that she had on heels. 

So, I say…well, type, all this to say, maybe my fellow Rattler was right.  Maybe I should go back to wearing my heels.  And as much as I’ve been a proponent of being a happy with my current size, I’m working out and eating right.  As some interviewees mentioned in their response during my “Weight and Dating” series, when health becomes an issue, you have to start taking care of yourself.  I’m fine (don’t worry), but my doctor strongly advised (i.e. gave me an eating plan) that I start eating right and exercising.  So far, I’ve been very disciplined and plan to make a lifestyle change. 

So, am I naive enough to think that losing 50 pounds and growing 3 inches when I go out is going to attract my husband-to-be?  Absolutely not.  But it couldn’t hurt.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern Girl…in the city!