What Are You Offering?

I suscribe to e-mails from Evan Marc Katz, who is a life and dating coach.  Normally, I delete this e-mails after skimming them (after questioning why I haven’t unsuscribed), but the e-mail he sent yesterday caught my eye.  It was titled, “What Does He Get Out of Dating You, Elle?” As the somewhat selfish and narcisstic Southern Belle I am, I decided to read (well skim a little harder) this particular message before I discarded it. 

Apparently Marc’s thing is helping folks when it comes to internet dating.  He assists them with writing these great bios that make people reach out to them and respond in droves.  When we think of selling ourselves, we always mention where we were educated, our beliefs, our hobbies, and the like, but we don’t mention what we will DO for our potential mate.  Things like making sure you have a hearty laugh at least once a day, taking you on a day trip to a wine vineyard, or giving you flowers just because.  And all of this got me to thinking, “Elle, why would anyone want to do date you?”  Yeah I’m cute and funny and witty, but that’s all things about me; what do I do for HIM?  So, I’ve decided to re-evaluate my dating habits and think about why someone would want to date me.  With the new guy, I can admit I think I’ve been a little selfish and self-absorbed.  So far, I don’t think he minds, but I do.  Besides being concerned with the superficialities of why Elle is a great girl, I need to think about how my potential mate will feel when he’s with me.  As Marc eluded to, a man doesn’t want a competitor; he wants a compliment.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

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