As a single woman (who hopes to one day not be single), I am always cognizant of attractive (single) men. (Well, always may be a stretch…) Let’s just say I pay attention to my surroundings. So when I went out with my neighbor Saturday night and one of her friends joined us, I noticed he was cute AND ringless on the finger where it mattered. But alas, sad to say, he was married.
After the UFC fight was over (after midnight), my neighbor (we’ll call her Erica) asked her married, ringless friend (we’ll call him Sean) to give us a ride home. Sean agreed, and we all trooped out to his car. Once we were all buckled in, Sean decided he wasn’t ready to go home yet. After driving around (and some convincing from Sean since Erica and I were sleepy), we settled at a bar on U St. While enjoying our drinks and hanging out, Sean asked us what was the freakiest thing we had ever done. Say what now??? You guys don’t need to know what exactly was said; let’s just say we engaged in dialogue that, in my opinion, should not have been had between a married man and a woman that was not his wife. We stayed at said bar until the lights came on, and then we left. I think I got home around 3 in the morning.
Sad to say, this is not the first time some woman’s husband has approached me from left field. I’ve been propositioned, hit on, flirted with, and even told that an ex-girlfriend said it was painful to be with him (you get what I’m saying). As I commented on Facebook yesterday, men and women can be doggish. But I always give the side eye to men who are a little too forthcoming with information and a little too flirtatious. And, as it was also pointed out to me, I will be married some day. And I believe Karma is a mean, ugly b—-, and she comes back with a vengeance. Would I want my husband to have these type of conversations with another woman? Absolutely not. Are these types of conversations appropriate? IMHO, no.
Since Erica didn’t have the answer to why he didn’t wear a ring, I asked Sean. His response was, “I don’t wear rings, so I don’t have a wedding band. And sometimes bands attract more women that not wearing one does. Actually, none of my boys that are married wear one.” But to me, a band is not for other women; it’s for your wife-as a symbol of your commitment to each other. Sean said he’s never cheated on his wife, and she must be REALLY understanding if he can stay out til 3 o’clock in the morning.
So, am I completely innocent in the events of Saturday? Sadly, no, but after writing this out and doing some reflection, I realize that I need to do better. Just because I’m a flirt by nature doesn’t mean I have the right to flirt with someone else’s husband, no matter how innocent it may appear to be and if he is the instigator. Some people may not think anything is wrong with the scenario from this weekend. As Erica told me, we don’t know the rules of their relationship. Sean’s wife may be fine with him being out all hours of the night….without her. I’m not sure I could ever be that understanding. Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.
- When Your Husband Flirts with Other Women and Handling Jealousy (peacefulwife.com)