Weight and Dating- Thoughts from a Southern Girl

So, I apologize in advance for taking so long to complete this series.  But, hey, life happens.  In any event, I do want to thank my friend Harold Fisher from “The Daily Drum” for even asking me to be a guest on his show.  If I can be honest, when he first approached me, I was a little put-off.  Mainly because I’ve never referred to myself as “plus-sized”, although I know what size I wear and am well aware of the fact that I am not what one would call “skinny” or “average” or whatever “nice” word people use when referring to a woman’s size.  But because I thought it would be fun, I could experience something new, he and I had talked about my coming on the show for awhile (for a totally different topic) and I’m slightly narcisstic (who doesn’t like a little shine?!), I thought, “What the heck?!” and told him I would come.  I did have a great experience on the show, and hopefully Harold will invite me back again… *wink, wink*

For those of you that tuned in, you know that Harold was very narrow in the topics that he wanted to discuss, so I couldn’t share all of my thoughts with the airwaves.  I mean, the show was only an hour AND I wasn’t the only guest.  To be fair, I’ll answer the questions I asked every one else and expound on some things I wasn’t able to share on the show. 

While I could never date a morbidly obese man,  I have been attracted to plus size men.  One of my first crushes as a teenager was a big dude.  And yes, I have dated plus size men-actually 2 within the last 2 years.  The first guy, who I’ve know for a while, is my age, and while he’s not your typical “plus-size” guy, he has a belly.  He does bike regularly and participates in other forms of exercise, but for the most part, he’s always been a little pudgy.  The 2nd man I dated, I only went out with once.  He’s a little older (with a protruding belly), and while he does coach a sports team, I’m not sure of his exercise regimen.  But one of the things that made him very unattractive was his breathing.  After we had dinner, I noticed that he was breathing rather heavily…and we were just sitting down.  To me, that was a total turn-off.  I’m not sure if that was related to his weight, but I’m 99% sure it was.  Now, would I encourage my overweight mate to lose weight?  Honestly, it would depend on the circumstances.  As others have stated, if his health was in jeopardy, absolutely.  But if I were to encouage him to lose weight, then I would need to turn the mirror to myself as well. 

When it comes to dating, I like to feel like my mate can protect me physically.  Not saying that there would ever be a time when he would need to defend my honor, but if he had to, I want to know my man can take care of the job. I know for a fact that’s why I prefer taller men (think 5’10” minimum).  Yes, I’m only 5’4″, but a girl needs to feel protected (plus, I like to wear heels-I wore heels so much the last guy I dated thought I was 5’7″).  And I don’t particularly like skinny men.  If your waist is the same size as Prince, we have a problem.  As I stated on the show, my weight has never been a topic of discussion for anyone I was dating, meaning no man has ever brought it up.  I think men know that there are some topics that must be treaded lightly with women, and her weight is one of them. 

Well, those are my thoughts on weight and dating.  If you haven’t chimed in yet, feel free to do so.  Or if you’ve already chimed in but want to respond to something I’ve said, feel free!  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

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