Weight and Dating- Part 4

Southern Mom is in town visiting, so I’ve been playing hostess/tourist.  While I have a few moments, I’ll continue posting in my “Weight and Dating” series.  Today we hear from Ms. Jenn and Dez.

Ms. Jenn is a 28 year old woman who is born, raised, and currently living in Washington, DC.

I’ve been in a relationship for the past 6 years, and I am a size 18.

I would like to start by saying I’m honored to render my opinions on this topic. It’s the story of my frigging life. I absolutely, positively, 100% find plus size men attractive. My first crush was Ice Cube in “Boyz in the Hood”, and we all know he was rocking a lil baby fat in ‘91. In fact it is my preference to date bigger men…could this be because I’m a bigger gal? I’ve often asked myself this, and I’ve decided that my weight has nothing to do with it. Aesthetically, I enjoy the look of a bigger man’s body, the softness of his belly, and the way his clothes fit him as opposed to just hanging on a thin frame. Again these are just my opinions not the gospel!

So since I feel this way about big men it’s obvious that I will date them. The man I’ve been dating for the past 6 years is plus sized, and I love all 280 lbs. of him! I love the way he looks in and out of his clothes and find that he pays attention to that and shows off for me!

So would I encourage him to loose weight? Only if I was ASKED to solicit my opinion! When my mate got into a car accident 2 years ago, he sustained a knee injury that kept him off work and on the couch for 6 months. Needless to say…he picked up about 25 lbs. Now I didn’t mind it a bit, but he complained about the extra pounds and said it was affecting his asthma. He asked me if I would jog with him and change the cooking until he came off the weight. I did, and within weeks of doing that and him going back to work, the pounds were gone, and I was back to the regular program. I’m just saying its not about weight…its about being comfortable and confident with yourself and going for what you really like instead of being bothered with other folks’ shallow bull. Live life on your own terms and embrace all of yourself.

Dez is a 32 year old newly engaged man hailing from Hilton Head, SC that currently lives in Atlanta, GA.

My response to this subject is that we are living in a superficial world where everyone thinks that you need to be a certain size in order to be found attractive. Females have it extra hard because of the things that we see on television and in the movies, but for me my fiancé is not a size 6 but she has the perfect body for me. I consider my fiancé a curvy female and that is my preference. Living in Atlanta, I definitely see all kinds of shapes and sizes and a lot of females that live here actually work out non-stop. My fiancé works out in order to maintain her figure. I honestly feel that if a person wants to get in shape it should be for the right reasons, such as living a longer life, living healthier, and eating better. Getting in shape shouldn’t come as a result of trying to find someone to date.

Why is it females who are considered plus size are insecure about their appearance? I know plenty of females who are larger than their other halves, but also they are all African American as opposed to other races. African American men tend to like females that have a little size to them. In my book, I feel as long as you are happy with the way you look and you are healthy, a woman should not have to alter her looks in order to find someone to date or to be accepted into society.

Thanks to Jenn and Dez for their participation.  We’re almost done with our series, then I’ll be sharing my personal thoughts.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!