Maybe It’s Me

I can admit that I want to be in a relationship.  Being single is slightly overrated. I can also admit sometimes I come off a little too strong…maybe eager…when it comes to the opposite sex. And by eager, I mean accommodating-in the sense of losing a little bit of myself and compromising when I’m not getting compromise in return.

So, I could easily blame the guys I meet and put the blame on them, but what’s the common denominator? Me.  I know there are things in my actions that I will have to change in order to attract the right man.  But where do I start? With prayer.  I know I rarely talk about my faith, but if I want a Godly man I need do the right things to attract HIM to ME. 

I definitely won’t rush the process.  Everything happens in His time, not ours.  If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that we make plans and God laughs.  And you may ask, “How do I know I’m meant to be in a relationship and eventually married?”  For the Bible tells me so; God didn’t intend for man to be single.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl
…in the city!

I’m 30!!! Now What???

For someone who wanted to COMPLETELY cancel my birthday celebration weekend, I had an AMAZE balls time!  My girls came in town, I travelled the city, partied it up, and was even surprised by my BFF (that lives in Chicago) at Sunday brunch, although he told me he wasn’t going to be able to make it to DC for the weekend. 

I have to admit, though, over the past few days, I feel a bit more at peace.  It’s like a calm has come over me that I’ve never felt before.  And yes, I know it’s only been 3 days, but I think I may like 30. 

I don’t know what it is about my friend J.R. and I, but our lives have become more parellel over the past few months.  And after a long discussion after happy hour last night, she gave me some sage advice-Enjoy the gray.  Let me explain.

There’s a young lad that has caught my attention, and although I think there’s something there on his side, J.R. told me to stay in the gray and let things happen.  For those of you that know me, you know I LIVE in the black and white.  Say what you mean, and mean what you say.  If you feel something, say so.  But…I will heed her warning and fall back.  And it’s not like I’ll never see this guy again; I mean, we do volunteer for the same non-profit. 

So, I’m 30.  I feel like I’m in a place where I can really start to enjoy my life, have fun, and be independent.  I can go on vacations, travel home, or stay in my own house watching “Living Single” re-runs eating Pop Secret.  If things are slated to go up from here, then I think 30’s alright with me.  I’m happy…and no one’s going to take that from me.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

I’m Not Bitter, But…

I realize that by writing this post, I’m doing the same thing I’m upset with my friend about.  But write it I shall.

There comes a time in our lives when someone says to us something so crazy and out-of-pocket that we have to check with our girls or our homeboys to make sure WE’RE not crazy. A few weeks ago, I jokingly told an acquaintance that I needed him to find me a date for me for my birthday.  After some hemming and hawing, he said something akin to, “You know guys your age are shallow, so you’re going to have to lose some weight, right?” Uh-uhr???  Now, admittedly, when he first said it, I just rolled with it.  But after I was able to sit back and marinate on what he said, I got angry.  If you think I should lose weight, it should be in regards to my health, not so I can get a man.  (I think I’ve mentioned here before that “overweight” girls get married, too.) 

As any red-blooded American woman does, I went to my girls.  And everyone agreed with me and thought I was crazy for not putting ol’ boy in his place. 

So imagine my surprise when about a week later, a friend mentioned what I told her (with incorrect facts) on social media under the guise of “pillow talk” she had with her husband and funny responses he has.  Yeah, needless to say, I was a little pissed.  I point blank asked her if she was talking about me.  She responded with, “No, I’m talking about *insert husband’s name*.” -___- (Oh, we’re playing this game.) “Obviously”, I responded. “But the girl-that’s me, right?” After about 30 minutes, she called, apologized and asked if I wanted her to take it down.  My response?  “Don’t take it down because of me; take it down based on how you feel.”  Let’s just say she must have felt pretty darn good because it never came down.

I say all this to say, I totally understand how social media networks can mess up friendships.  Although my friend asked me to call her back (I was on my way to dinner), I haven’t talked to her since. 

I admit there have been times when my friends have said off the wall stuff, and I’ve SO wanted to share it on Facebook or Twitter, but I don’t.  Why?  Because I value my friendships with people and am concerned that they would see it. 

So, yes, I’m still angry…and bitter.  And even though this is Birthday Week and everything this week was supposed to be related to birthdays, I couldn’t think of anything.  And I’ve been wanting to write about this for awhile.  Maybe when Birthday Week is over, I’ll give her a call…maybe.

Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

P.S. I haven’t talked to my male acquaintance, either.  He didn’t even get an invite to the birthday soiree.

 

It’s Not Always About Me…(Birthday Edition)

Well, it IS…but you know, I have to be nice and unselfish and all that sometimes… 🙂  (Kidding!)

If you can’t tell, I love birthdays.  Well, of course I love my own, but I also love celebrating other people’s birthdays.  I remember everybody’s birthday AND how old they are.  And I have no problem reminding people just how old they’re getting.  So much so, Southern Dad calls me by his cousin’s name who remembers just how old everyone is. 

When my uncle turned 40, I wanted to throw him a surprise party (I was almost 10; his birthday is April 4).  So I told my mom, and we were able to gather up all of our family members and get them in on the surprise, too.  My mom told my uncle we wanted to invite him over for dinner (I think), and boy was he surprised when he walked through our front door!  We had decorated the house with black balloons that were akin to “Over the Hill” and other black and white balloons and streamers signifying just how old he was getting. 🙂 

Southern Mom’s birthday is in August, and for once, since I went to college, I was going to be home on her birthday.  So I wanted to surprise her with a dinner out a nice Chinese restaurant in my hometown.  Once again, I was able to get our whole family in on it.  I reserved a private dining room, ordered a cake from Publix (I love that place), and ordered balloons.  The plan was for my mom to hang out with my aunt that Saturdayafternoon, I pick up everything, then the 3 of us meet up for dinner.  Yeah, Southern Mom wasn’t having that.  She missed her baby and wanted to spend time with me….ok, time to re-strategize.  So very discreetly in my grandmother’s living room, my aunt and I decided SHE would pick up the cake and balloons and meet us at the restaurant.  I asked my family to get there early, as I wanted my mom to be totally surprised…and she was!!! (Mission accomplished!)  (Even though one of my cousins was a little tardy and pulled up when we did.)  My mom was very grateful, and she enjoyed herself. 

Birthdays are definitely a time of celebration, fun, family, and friends!  Have you ever had a suprise birthday party? Or did you throw a bash for a loved one?  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

Way Back Wednesday- Past Birthday Celebrations

Yes, it HAS been awhile since I’ve done a WBW post.  And I figured since my 30th is coming and I’m celebrating all weekend, I should share with you guys some memorable parties from birthdays past.

My 6th (or maybe 7th) birthday is the first birthday party I remember.  It was at McDonald’s (didn’t every kid born in the 80’s have at least one birthday party at Mickey D’s?!?!).   I had tons of fun, and only one boy (my homey George) was present.  He and I continued to be friends all through school. 

My Sweet 16 Birthday Party was at a community center.  There were purple and white streamers and balloons everywhere, and my cake was decorated with purple flowers (yes, you all know I love the color purple).  All of my friends were present, along with some of the cool upper classmen boys.  And they didn’t cause a ruckus, as my older cousin was afraid they would when they left and came back.  And Southern Mom made me invite my former best friend, who happened to be all over my on-again/off-again-everybody thought we would end up together-we’ll always have a crush on each other until we hit 25- boyfriend.  Needless to say, my girls weren’t too happy about that and, until I told them we need to have fun, were giving them both the side-eye of death.

My 19th birthday, which was on Easter Sunday (the 2nd time in my life besides my 11th birthday), was tons of fun.  My friends took me to Olive Garden for a birthday dinner.  Unfortunately, I ate something that didn’t agree with me and ended up being sick ALL the next day and missed my classes.  This incident caused me to avoid going to this restaurant for almost 7 years.

My 21st birthday was a trip.  My BFF and roommate kidnapped me, complete with blindfold, and took me on a drive (So unoriginal-that’s what I did for her 21st birthday!).  We went into an establishment where I was promptly placed on a stool and, after being told of the occasion, a guy said, “If it’s her birthday, I’ll spank her!” (O_O) After my blindfold was promptly removed, I saw we ended up at the Ale House (which was practically empty) with 2 of my really good friends present.  We stayed long enough to have a drink then travelled to BW3’s, where even more of my friends were (and the real party was happening)!  (I miss those 25 cent wing Tuesdays…)

When I turned 25, I celebrated all month.  Celebrations included going to a historic theater in Jacksonville for an Apollo-like performance, Movie Night on Friday the 13th (can’t remember what we saw, though), Sunday dinner at a well known restaurant-complete with my Sunday hat, and going to my first Tyler Perry play, which was great. 

There have definitely been more birthday celebrations, but I just wanted to highlight a few.  How do you like celebrating your birthday?  What’s your favorite birthday memory?  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

Rules In Da Club…

I’m glad to know that my friends are just as excited about my birthday as I am.  I have a friend who’s coming in town from Chicago, and we were discussing the upcoming events of the weekend.  Our conversation led to discussion of proper club etiquette.  Yes, people, it does exist.  So as I prepare for my big birthday bash on Saturday night, gentlemen, please keep the below tidbits in mind.  (And yes, we know it’s mostly men who act all inappropriate when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex at the club.)

– DON’T grind up on a woman, especially if you don’t know her.  No stranger wants to feel your Mr. Happy on her hind parts…or any other part of her anatomy.

– DO introduce yourself.  Manners will get you far in life.

– DON’T paw a woman.  It’s ok to lightly touch her hips, but wandering hands will get you popped.

– DO offer a lady if a drink if you dance with her for more than one song.  (Remember what I said about manners???)

– DON’T try to have a full-fledged conversation in the club.  The music’s loud; you’ll be screaming at each other all night. 

– DO ask said lady for her number.  If you’ve danced to a few songs and you felt that you would like to get to know her outside of the club, ask for the digits. 

– DON’T go hopping from lady to lady in the same group.  Women travel in packs…well at least pairs.  So if Girl #1 isn’t interested, don’t get in her friend’s face.  You will get embarassed.  Walk around the venue.

– DO offer a lady a drink if you’ve danced with her for at least 2 consecutive songs.  I’m not saying it has to be an alcoholic drink; it can be a glass of water.  The fact that you offers shows you care.  I will say if you offer a spirited drink, it may help in your quest to get her number.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now.  If you have any more club Do’s and Don’ts, feel free to share!  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

It’s Birthday Week, Snitches!!!

So, this week begins the last 7 days (well, 6 now) that I’ll spend in my 20’s.  I don’t think it’s hit me yet that I’m about to turn 30.  A lot of people have said that 30 is when a girl truly begins to become a woman and everything is spectacular.  And last night, one of my friends confirmed for me (via Facebook) that I was right; 30 ain’t all it’s cracked up to be…

But, because I’m slightly narcisstic and enjoy celebrating my birth, I am excited to celebrate another year of life.  Two of my really good friends are coming in town, and I have a PLETHORA of things planned.  I started cleaning my house last night (I even cleaned out the bathroom cabinet-ok, maybe that’s more than you guys want to know), and this week will see me really completing some Spring Cleaning.  I’m also going to straigthen my hair (GASP!).  If you’ve earlier posts…(oh, wait, wrong blog).  Well, if you’ve ever read my other blog The Natural Girl Diaries, you know I’ve had some issues with wearing straight hair in the past.  I can say this is a one off thing.  And my soror who has done my hair since 2007 is gonna do it, so I’m excited to see what she does…I just hope I can keep it straight for at least a week with putting mimimal heat on it.

Southern Mom’s family got together yesterday for our monthly family dinner, and one of my cousins called and had me on speakerphone while the family sang “Happy Birthday!” to the April babies.  And even though it was my first time visiting this church, I did stand up while the congregation sang to the April babies. 

All in all, Birthday Week has started off great, even though my allergies are starting to act up.  I’m excited to see what else develops and what fun I’ll have!  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!