Why Go Back?

When it comes to relationships, most people are done (and I mean DONE) when they break up with their significant other.  But there are some who, for whatever reason, decide to re-visit an old romance.  Maybe they broke up because someone was moving away or their parents forbade it or the timing was off.  Whatever the case, some people have no problem getting back with an ex.

I have to admit, a few weeks ago I broke down and called The Boy.  I wanted to tell him I got the job (ok, maybe I wanted to brag a little), so I reached out to him.  I had decided that just because things didn’t go the way I wanted them to go didn’t mean that we couldn’t be friendly and cordial, which I told him.  We have great dialogue, which was never a problem for us.  Then, of course, our conversation turned to “us”.  I asked why he didn’t want to date me anymore; he said I never told you that.  I said you didn’t have to-your actions showed it.  So after some hemming and hawing, we decided we would try this dating thing again.  I had my reservations-I was DEEPLY skeptical-but he sounded sincere and like he had heard all of my concerns and was ready to make some changes.  He’s a movie buff, I wanted to see “Safe House”, so I suggested we go together.  He was given the responsibility of picking the theater and the time (since he’s always groaning he’s not a planner-I thought he would do ok with some direction).  The day of our date arrives.  I get a text message (A TEXT MESSAGE) from him as I’m calling him that says “Hey let’s reschedule”.  SO many thoughts are running through my head at this point-what the heck happened in 12 hours for you to want to reschedule-why couldn’t you pick up the phone-are you not answering the phone because you know I’ll cuss you out-and so forth.  After about 15 minutes, I texted him back and said “Let’s not”.  Honestly, I almost ignored it, but I wanted to let him know that I was done, like utterly and completely done.  And after not hearing a response back from him, 8 hours later I deleted our text message converations and his number from my phone.

Fast forward to two weeks ago, and he sends me an e-mail, asking for my opinion on some loafers…This is when I got angry.  So you think everything is water under the bridge and we’re cool again?  You obviously want me to yell and scream or otherwise you would have not sent me an e-mail (and E-MAIL of all things) asking for opinion about some shoes.  He may think nothing’s wrong and that I’m the bad guy.  But if he does, then he was never listening to me in the first place.  I did the mature thing and deleted his e-mail without responding.  (I know, how grown-up of me!)

So, I say all this to say, why do we re-visit past relationships?  For some, it works out, and they live happily ever after.  Unfortunately for Elle, I don’t think that’s a possibility.  I was at least willing to be The Boy’s friend, but if you can’t answer a phone call and send a text message instead…I can’t respect you as a person, and you’re not someone I would want to have in my life.  I’m glad I saw this 3 months in instead of 3 years; I’d probably be devastated!  If you have a story of going back with a happy ending, please share.  Or if you’re like me and opposed to it, I’ll take that, too.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.