So, The Boy and I are officially over…or I’m done with The Boy. But if you’re like Southern Mom (or the homie @OriginalNajeema), you think it’s just a phase and we’ll be back to how things were in 2011. But I’m a realist and can admit when things have run their course. I can say that while The Boy and I dated briefly, I learned a lot about myself and added some things to my list of acceptables and un-acceptables when it comes to whom I’m dating. I’m not saying that I’m the perfect person to date. But what I ask of my mate, I do myself. Below are some mantras that I hold near and dear and the next potential is going to have to keep these statements in mind when he approaches me. He can never say he wasn’t warned.
– Texting does not equal dating. In this world of technology, it is SO easy to send a little text message to your boo to say “What’s up?”, “I miss you”, or “I just wanted to let you know you crossed my mind.” Texting, just like talking on the phone, is supposed to ACCOMPANY dating, not define it. When dating, you spend time with that person…in person, not over your phone. This belief leads me to…
– I want someone I can date and spend time with. Is that too much to ask? I’m clearly not saying that we have to spend every waking moment together-we work, have friends, plus I don’t want you to get on my nerves-but spending quality time together is essential when getting to know someone. Seriously, there’s only so much you can learn about someone over the phone.
–It’s only compromise if we both give up something to gain something in return. You want me to go to the Wizards game with you. I want you to come with me to see “Fela”. I don’t do basketball, and you don’t do the theater. But we both agree and compromise to attend something we normally would not because we know it’s going to please our partner and benefit us in the long run. And because in two months when you want me to go run with you at the National Mall (I hate working out outdoors), you can remind me that you went with me to the Smithsonian for a stuffy fundraiser with my co-workers.
–Don’t automatically assume each date night is going to end with us “stirring cocoa”. I don’t think I have to really expound on this. But we can have a couple of dates with you taking me home, kissing me on my cheek, and driving back to your residence without the removal or shifting of any garments.
No, not all of these things were issues that arose with The Boy, but they are thoughts that I’ve had during my dating adventures. Please feel free to share some of your own. Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!
- Text Game:Dos & Donts of texting her. (kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com)
- A Simpleman’s Guide to Dating (whygirlsarejustsomuchbetter.wordpress.com)