Texting Does Not Equal Dating…

So, The Boy and I are officially over…or I’m done with The Boy.  But if you’re like Southern Mom (or the homie @OriginalNajeema), you think it’s just a phase and we’ll be back to how things were in 2011.  But I’m a realist and can admit when things have run their course.  I can say that while The Boy and I dated briefly, I learned a lot about myself and added some things to my list of acceptables and un-acceptables when it comes to whom I’m dating.  I’m not saying that I’m the perfect person to date.  But what I ask of my mate, I do myself.  Below are some mantras that I hold near and dear and the next potential is going to have to keep these statements in mind when he approaches me.  He can never say he wasn’t warned.

Texting does not equal dating.  In this world of technology, it is SO easy to send a little text message to your boo to say “What’s up?”, “I miss you”, or “I just wanted to let you know you crossed my mind.”  Texting, just like talking on the phone, is supposed to ACCOMPANY dating, not define it.  When dating, you spend time with that person…in person, not over your phone.  This belief leads me to…

I want someone I can date and spend time with.  Is that too much to ask?  I’m clearly not saying that we have to spend every waking moment together-we work, have friends, plus I don’t want you to get on my nerves-but spending quality time together is essential when getting to know someone.  Seriously, there’s only so much you can learn about someone over the phone.

It’s only compromise if we both give up something to gain something in return.  You want me to go to the Wizards game with you.  I want you to come with me to see “Fela”.  I don’t do basketball, and you don’t do the theater.  But we both agree and compromise to attend something we normally would not because we know it’s going to please our partner and benefit us in the long run.  And because in two months when you want me to go run with you at the National Mall (I hate working out outdoors), you can remind me that you went with me to the Smithsonian for a stuffy fundraiser with my co-workers.

Don’t automatically assume each date night is going to end with us “stirring cocoa”.  I don’t think I have to really expound on this.  But we can have a couple of dates with you taking me home, kissing me on my cheek, and driving back to your residence without the removal or shifting of any garments.

No, not all of these things were issues that arose with The Boy, but they are thoughts that I’ve had during my dating adventures.  Please feel free to share some of your own.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

What’s New?

So, I’ve been MIA for…awhile.  A lot has been occuring here in Southern Girl Land.  First, I’ve been working like a Hebrew slave.  Yes, I’ve worked 2 jobs before, but for some reason, I now feel drained; a vacation is due soon…and by that I mean Movie Night for One at my house with Pop Secret and a glass (Who am I kidding? At least half of the bottle) of white wine.  I really think it’s the fact that it takes longer than 20 minutes for me to get to work now.  Before, I was going AGAINST traffic, which was a wonderful thing.  Now, everyone goes to work the same way I do, and it definitely makes for a longer commute.  Which means I have to get up earlier…but alas, I will not complain.

So, my girl Bey and hubby Hov finally had Blue Ivy.  For the record, can I say that I really don’t like her name?  I get that they were being sentimental, but what is Blue going to look like at 25 with people calling her “Blue”?  I guess celebrities figure their kids will be celebrities, so it doesn’t matter what the name is.  Can I just say that’s hogwash???  PLEASE when naming your children, think about what’s going to be on their resume.

And it’s officially election season.  The Republican candidates have gone at it, there have been a few casualties, but the core group is still going at it.  Admittedly, I have not been keeping up with the debates as I should. I’ll try to do better.  I will say I’m intrigued by a few of the candidates…but not enough to jump ship.  I have to think about me and my household and who has our best interest at heart.

I’m not sure where I was when I first found out about the show “Luther”, but whenever I was, it was the right place.  Fine, gorgeous, extremely handsome and talented Idris Elba plays the title character John Luther.  The show comes on BBC America and is one of the BEST shows I have ever seen.  It’s right up there with SVU, and for those of you that know me personally know how I feel about SVU.  I catch it On Demand, and I have to ask, where are the shows after Episode 5???  After I caught up with Seasons 1 and 2, I was ready to keep going, and there was nothing to go to.  And speaking of shows, I discovered another show On Demand-“Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys”.  Yes, if you read this twice, because people always get the same confused-let me slow this down and think about it-look on their face when I tell them the title, you guessed the show is about gay men and their best female friend.  Not sure how I discovered this show, either, but I’m glad I did.  I told my gay BF that we should totally be on that show, but he would have to move to DC.  He said we should move to NYC and do it.  Since neither one of us is willing to change our zip code (at least not to those cities), we missed our chance. 

I had a great conversation with one of my best friends last night.  I opened up to her in a way that I haven’t with others.  Mainly because I’m the go-to person when my friends have issues.  So it was very refreshing to share a side that not a lot of people get to see.  And it was really amazing that we were able to reminisce about our college days and share a few laughs…and some things we didn’t know. 

Well, those are my ramblings for today.  Feel free to share some of your own. 🙂  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

A Night of Royalty

Have you ever been uncomfortable?  Have you ever been in the hot seat?  Have you done something you felt awkward doing, but you knew it needed to be done?  Have you ever volunteered yourself to stand up for something greater than you?  Well, that’s what the Co-Founder and President of Benevole, Inc. George L. Slaughter wants attendees to take away from the upcoming event “A Night of Royalty”.  The event will benefit N Street Village, a non-profit organization in DC, which assists women with overcoming homelessness, addiction, and mental illness, among offering other services.  All attendees, even the men, must wear women’s shoes.  Why?  Well, it’s very simple.  The women who are clients of N Street Village have to be uncomfortable.  They have to do things that they may not want to do.  But in order to provide a better life for themselves and their families, they make necessary sacrifices.  And while wearing women’s shoes for 3 hours can’t hold a candle to the things these women have experienced in their lives, we can sacrifice ourselves for just a small amount of time to remember the women of N Street Village.  If you want to attend, which I hope you will, please see the details below.  (And if any bloggers in the DMV would like to serve as official press for the event, please e-mail latoya.grant@benevoleinc.org.) 

Contact: LaToya Grant                                                                   FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

E-mail: latoya.grant@benevoleinc.org


Washington, DC (December 15, 2011) – Join Washington, DC based Benevole, Inc. as it hosts A Night of Royalty, an event to benefit the women of N Street Village, on Saturday, January 28, 2012 from 7:00 until 10:00 pm at The Dunes, 1402 Meridian Place NW, Washington, DC.  The donation per person is $25, and the evening includes heavy hors d’ouvre.  High heel shoes are mandatory for men and women, and no photography will be allowed.

A Night of Royalty was originally conceived to pay tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  According to Benevole President and Co-Founder, George L. Slaughter, the event is now “a celebration of women and assisting them as they reclaim their highest quality of life.  The evening will pay homage to the queens of N Street Village who are being empowered, in an atmosphere of dignity and respect.” 

Benevole, along with the District’s very own queen, Miss Black DC USA 2012 Amina L. Gilyard, will bring awareness to N Street Village for its outstanding contributions to the women of the Washington Metro Area.  The Benevole team is happy to announce The Dunes as the Platinum Sponsor for the event.  For sponsorship opportunities and ticketing information, please visit Benevole on the web at www.benevoleinc.org.

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Benevole, Inc.’s mission is to advance human rights by meeting immediate needs and building lasting partnerships with community organizations operating on the front-lines.   The vision is enacted with an understanding of the inter-relationships between the various issues Benevole addresses and by a commitment to working in partnership with organizations at the local and regional levels who share the organization’s goals.

Ok, I’ll Admit It…

I wish my hair had a little more natural curl.  I wish DC had 65-75 degree weather year round…and was 20 minutes from a beach.  I sometimes miss my momma.  I’ve fallen off a little.  And I’ll even admit I’m a little jealous.  Of what you may ask.  Well, I’ll tell you.  My friends’ weight loss.  It really came to a head for me this past week when I saw pics of my little cousin at Christmas, and she was obviously smaller than when I saw her last year.  And I’m sick of seeing everyone around me taking charge of their health and the way they look, and I’m sitting around like a bump on a log…literally. 

So, instead of drinking my customary Coke or Sprite during lunch yesterday, I drank water.  And I actually drank water for pretty much the entire day; I plan on doing the same thing today…and in the days to come.  The next step I’ve taken is not eating out all the time.  I took my lunch to work, along with healthy snacks, last week, and I plan to keep up this trend.  Most importantly, I need to get active, like really active.  To the point where I’m working out when I come home from work or starting my days with cardio.  It’s going to take some sacrifice.  And anything worth having is not going to be easy to obtain. And let me be honest.  I turn 30 in 3 months…and then I’m a bridesmaid in my linesister’s wedding.  I need to get my act together.  I want to leave my 20s behind me in this unhealthy body and greet my 30s in a healthier, upgraded version.  And truth be told, I think the New Boy can help me with getting in better shape.  (He’s very athletic.)  Yes, I know I’ve mentioned on this here blog MULTIPLE times about taking charge of my weight, but this time I’m committing to doing better. Even Southern Mom is taking charge of her health.  And I clearly can’t have her coming to DC to celebrate my birthday with a better body than me. 🙂 (Just kidding, Mom!)

So, that’s all I’ve got today.  I’ve updated the What’s Happening page (FINALLY!), so take a look.  Hopefully I’ll see you next week at my Happy Hour at Twelve Lounge.  Yes, I know I just talked about getting in better shape, but an indulgence is allowed every now and then. 😉  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

Happy New Year!!!

My 2011 was filled with plenty of ups and downs, but I am happy to announce that my year definitely ended on a high note.  With a new job and a new suitor (who has lasted longer than 2 dates), a really rough year was smoothed out.  With the continued support of my family and friends, I am super excited to see what 2012 has in store.

I am already gearing up for my 30th birthday in April (yes, I’m an early planner), two weddings (one where I am a bridesmaid), and the birth of my cousin’s first child, which is extremely exciting for me.  She’s my “little cousin”, and I was the Maid of Honor at her wedding.  It’s amazing to see the woman that she has become. 

Last year served as a very eye-opening experience for me.  I was able to see what I’m made of and to see what I can handle.  I am a lot stronger than I thought I was.  There were some things that I wish I could do over, but for the most part, I wouldn’t change anything.  Those things helped to shape who I am today. 

I don’t believe in resolutions, per se, because I feel like it would be SO easy to give up.  So I’ve decided to make certain goals for the year.  My number one goal is for me to exercise more.  I don’t even want to put a weight loss goal (which most people do) because I feel like that’s too much pressure.  So, as long as I add some regular activity 3-4 days a week, I think I will start to see a difference in my body composition.  I also want to continue to work on my finances.  I want to become a better steward of my money this year.  I plan to continue working on my business.  And the great thing is that a friend of a friend recently opened her business and wants to discuss PR.  (I’m VERY excited to see where this goes!) Lastly, I want to be holistically happy with and in my life.  I want to continue to see what’s in store with the New Boy and me, I want to continue to have a great relationship with Southern Parents, my extended family, and my friends.

I hope you all had a very blessed and happy holiday season.  Now, it’s back to reality. 🙂  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!