The Black Woman, Non-Black Man Thing

It seems as if most relationship experts, authors, comedians, and the like are telling Black women if they are tired of being single then they should date non-Black men. But let’s face it-non-Black men are not checking for Black women, at least not at the rate Black men are dating non-Black women.

I’m not sure what is behind the phenomenon that Black women should look outside of our race to date. Maybe it’s because Black women have the highest percentage of never being married. But what I think should be taken into account is telling non-Black men to date Black women. I’m not a reader of “GQ” magazine, but I bet there’s never been an article titled “10 Reasons to Date a Black Woman”; I’m sure there’s not an article geared towards Latino men titled “How Dating a Black Woman Will Be Beneficial for You”.

So, why aren’t there any huge campaigns geared towards non-Black men to date us? I wish I knew. But all relationships take two people to participate. And having articles in “Essence”, “Ebony”, “Honey”, or any other publication isn’t going to get Black women to date non-Black men. Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!


  1. Interesting article. My dear Southern lady, you should be grateful..there are too many stupid articles about how non-chinese guys “could” date a chinese woman……I hear your frustration. Racial Stereotypes in all forms are just dreadful!

    May I just say this trend hit an all-time Awful when some famous female US comedian made the joke at the golden globe or something that went: “There’s the 1st wife, the trophy wife no.2 and for whatever reason, the 3rd/last wife is ALWAYS chinese!”

    my blog is keep me posted! I like what you wrote! πŸ™‚ have fun. C

  2. I was glad I stumbled across this topic. I’ve had many great long relationships dating black women as a white man. I don’t think reading an article in GQ would have had much effect on whether I wanted to date them or would for the wrong reasons. For me, it was more about who they were. Yes, I remember I was a little more nervous on my first few dates with someone of a different color but I soon realized that was mainstream society reinforcing its will to keep compatible people apart based on race. I find black women simply beautiful and compassionate sometimes in ways my own race cannot compare. If that makes a statement to the rest of the world to help break down racial barriers, I’m proud to be that too.

    From the business side of why a publisher like GQ doesn’t run such stories, maybe it is because they don’t want to appear to reinforce racial stereotypes or narrow opinions based on whoever the author might be. Everyone’s experiences will be different, right? Also, I doubt that they would run in subsequent issues ‘top 10 reasons to date Asians’ or ‘top 10 reasons to date Jews’. Somehow that type of article seems to reinforce belittling sincere dating and exemplifies the romance of gigolos.

  3. Reblogged this on Sustain-Able δ½™ : β™₯ and commented:
    Yes, it still shocks me when I hear my white friends say things like,”I just don’t want to date a black person. I respect differences in race but I just don’t think I can.” I said I found that racist! They said,”No, it is like saying I don’t like eating rice, I like eating bread, or I find red hair attractive and not brown hair in dating…that is not the same as saying I don’t like or respect black people. Would I be racist if I said I don’t want to date a Scottish person who is ginger?”

    I don’t know. It is racist in so far as you are being narrow-minded about your dating options based on color of skin tone. But then again there are people who are narrow minded based on a person’s class or what kind of car he or she has or how big their body bits are….

    So I guess, it is not 100% racist but it is very narrow-minded and not very classy? But then again if “black” is the ONLY color you won’t date as a white person, I think it is racist!

    What weirds me out is that there would be people saying this to me while trying to date me or proclaiming that they are so honored to be included in my chinese world….this is a very complex issue, I think. But I like this blog. She makes a good point. Why is there so many articles advising White guys how to date black or asian women but not the other way around for Black women to date white or asian men or any other color? Maybe there is….but who cares in the end, sor t out your own love life….and if you need to get advise from a magazine, you need to get a life! πŸ™‚

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