Why Men and Not Women?

A few months back, I asked my friends on Facebook for suggestions of blogs to read.  Someone suggested “Until I Get Married”.  I had seen the blog title before, but never really paid any attention to it.  After that suggestion, I read the latest post and was impressed.  So much so I check the site on a regular basis (still not more than “Black and Bougie”, though!)  In any event, I checked out an old post yesterday, due to someone commenting on it, and decided to read it.  The post?  “Girls You Shouldn’t Fall For: The Lesbian Edition“. 

I’ll let you all read it for yourselves, but essentially Jozen (the author) met a girl to whom he was drawn to, and they started out being friends.  But that didn’t last too long.  Despite her being a lesbian, he still tried to date her.  He wasn’t turned away by the fact that she was attracted to women and hadn’t dated a man in 10 years.  Reading his post made me recount multiple conversations I’ve had with my friends regarding men and women who are hetero, but may be involved with people who have dabbled in homosexual relationships. 

From my experience, men will date women they know are attracted to women and have been involved with women.  Women, on the other hand, will not be involved with a man who has slept with or has been attracted to men.   I believe men think it’s hot for two girls to get together and believe they will get something out of the deal (-_-), but women on the other hand…not so much.  Since I’ve moved to DC, I have met a few men who are homosexual and who are attractive.  If one of them came up to me one day and said, “Elle, I’m really attracted to you, I think you’re a wonderful woman, and I think we should go out sometime…on a date”, I would have to give him the side-eye.  My biggest worry is that he would be tempted to stray if we were to get together.  And it’s one thing to think that I have to worry about my man being attracted to another woman, but a man???  I honestly don’t think I can handle it.  And one of my friends even asked me and another one our girlfriends during a get-together if we would ever date a man that was a friend, but we knew that he had slept with men.  I can’t remember our exact answers, but I believe in the end we both said, “No.” 

So, this leads to the question why are men attracted to women who have been with other women, but women will not be with men who have been with other men?  In my personal opinion, it’s still considered taboo, in the Black community, to be a homosexual man.  Not to mention there are many men who will sleep with other men and still have sexual relationships with women.  And I also believe a woman feels like she can compete with another woman, if it comes down to it.  But to compete with another man…I wouldn’t know where to begin.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I know there are plenty of women who will still be involved in a relationship with a man who sleeps with other men; I just don’t think I’m that girl. 

In conclusion, I don’t think I have a real reason why men will date bi- or homosexual women, but women won’t do the same, at least not at the same level.  So maybe you guys can help me understand.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!

I have been DYING to share this song by Prince with you all.  Unfortunately, I can’t find a full recording on the net, but I do have the lyrics.  This is a classic example of being attracted to someone who is unattainable. 

“The Dance” by Prince

Eye don’t wanna give U my love
‘Cause eye don’t wanna lose my mind
Eye don’t wanna give U my love
‘Cause if eye do it’s gonna be the last time (eww eww eww)
‘Cause Eye never want 2 feel this way again
If eye can’t be Ur lover, eye don’t wanna be Ur friend
No, eye don’t wanna be friends, no

(eww eww eww, baby)
(ewww oh, ewww oh)

Eye don’t wanna hold Ur hand, (eye don’t wanna gold Ur hand,)no
‘Cause eye would just follow U everywhere (oh oh oh, uh oh)
Eye don’t wanna see U dance (eye don’t want 2 see it, girl)
‘Cause eye don’t even really want 2 take the chance
Of fallin’ in love with U, baby
If U ever said those beautiful words 2 me
“If eye wanna be Ur fantasy”, yes…
Eye wanna dance, yes
(Let’s dance sugar)

(eww eww eww, oooh)

Eye don’t wanna give U my love

Oh baby, This must be temptation

‘Cause eye just can’t get U off my mind
Eye try and try, but when eye close my eyes
Eye see U every time, un hunh

Eye don’t wanna go 2 fast (oooh)
‘Cause if eye do eye just might stay (stay with me)
Eye’d stay with U, baby
Eye guess eye better make it last (make it last, eww eww)
The longer that eye feel this way (the longer that U feel this way)
Eye never want 2 feel this way again
If eye can’t be Ur lover eye don’t wanna be Ur friend, no
Eye don’t wanna be friends, no

Eye don’t want 2 give U my love
Eye don’t want 2 give U my love

Oh oh honey, baby, no no no

Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo
Baby, how U gonna really just stand there
And act like U don’t want this, baby?
If U do then U know, eye just don’t care
Oh baby, eye can find another just like U anywhere
Oh baby, they might not have Ur hips, girl
Or that pretty hair, Ooo Ooo Ooo
At least they won’t spend all day in the mirror
Trying 2 find something 2 wear
At least, they won’t want 2 make love like U do
On the stairs, against the pole
On the north corner of the… aww baby, baby, baby, baby
It’s just not fair, it’s just not fair, (scream)Ooo Ooo…


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