So, I had some time open up this morning. Actually, I don’t think I really did, but I’m going to take some time based on 2 posts (well…one and a quarter) I just read and feel the need to rant a little. This could also be based on the night I had last night, too.
It appears that everybody and their momma is writing a relationship book. Steve Harvey’s “Straight Talk, No Chaser” will be number 1 this week on the New York Times Best-Sellers list, the men of Very Smart Brothas have written a relationship book that will be released next month, and Shanae Hall, radio personality on Jamie Foxx’s Sirius satellite station “The Foxxhole” wrote “Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man?” in response to Harvey’s first book. I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! We get it-everyone’s single and is complaining that they don’t know where to meet quality men/women. Everyone thinks celebrities, who don’t know them or anything about their personal lives or the people in them, can give them advice and the secret to finding their one true love.
While I definitely think we need to look internally as to why certain things happen in our lives, sometimes who we come into contact with has an effect. Case in point, last night I went to the Baltimore Quarterly Social hosted by our favorite matchmaker, Paul Carrick Brunson. Not to say anything bad about Mr. Brunson, but not all 0f the men present were there for the same reasons the ladies were. Women were taking this event VERY seriously and were ready to meet some quality guys that with which they could build a potential relationship. The guys were there to have a good time.
I say all of this to say, no matter what a comedian, fellow bloggers, or a former NFL wife write in a book, my going out is not going to guarantee that I meet a man who wants the same things I do. I could go to singles’ mixers, church, a sports bar, or wherever else people say you can meet a man, and leave empty-handed, disappointed, and thinking something’s wrong with me.
What do you guys think? Have relationship books been around forever but just making their way to the Black community? Have the steps or advice in a relationship book helped you to find someone? Or are you sick of them just like I am??? Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city!
Related Articles
- Steve Harvey: ‘Straight Talk, No Chaser’ (abcnews.go.com)
- The Smart Single Woman: Do You Have To Think Like a Man to Get a Man? (urbanbellemag.com)
Southern Girl in the City 
As you’ve stated, relationship books have been around for a while and quite a few have been written by black authors, just know the people who are writing these books have access to an audience (via radio) so they can PR their books all morning on my commute to work. Seriously, I want us (blacks) to stop jumping on the popular and to request more from people with credible research. Not to be a hater, but Steve and all the rest of these people are writing books based off of “Strawberry Letters”, friends testimonies, and personal experience. This alone is not what we need in our community when men and women are both experiencing droughts in finding quality people to date. I feel that all of these people are taking advantage of a situation (I don’t blame them based on the financial rewards they gain) and at the end of reading these books, people find themselves in the same predicament. In closing, three things that my friends and I talk about when it comes to dating/finding quality mates are 1) We need to check ourselves before trying to check someone else. 2) Open up to something new because unfortunately the thing that we have consistently been doing isn’t working. 3) Go into every situation expecting little. It makes the small accomplishments seem greater.
I just had this convo last night on a date and I said that I was tired of all these forums, books, blah blah blah…Its actually tired. Everyone has their own opinions and have had their shares of ups and downs. Thats ok (we all have) but it shouldnt be “omg, I have to read this book to understand a man and then I will get one”….NO MA’AM. Listen to your gut, learn from your mistakes and keep truckin’.