America’s Most Wanted

The Ideal Black Man

There is one person in the United States of America that everyone wants.  He is attractive, suave, educated, God-fearing, gainfully employed, has a slamming body, loves his mama, is his own man, respects your mind AND your body, is a thug, has a mean streak, came from the wrong side of the tracks, has seen the inside of a jail, can’t keep a job, and has “questionable” practices and friends.  To whom am I referring?  Why, the Black Man of course!  Everyone, from black women to white women to the streets to jail wants the black man, and today’s post is going to point out exactly why.

First, the black woman.  It’s very simple.  To keep the Black Family strong, united, and to remain in existence you must have a black woman and a black man.  In order to have the ideal Black Family, both parents must have love and respect for each other.   They must be able to work together.  And let’s face it, the ideal black man, the one who wants to get married (to a black woman) and have babies and life happily ever after is almost becoming a myth.  So when a black woman happens upon one, she’ll sink her claws in to him before some other woman comes along, such as…

The white woman.  She may want to get married, she just may want a good lay, or she may just want something a little taboo (since the black man has always been off limits).  But whatever the reason, white women love black men.  And unlike some black women, they won’t question the hell out of their man.  He can play ball with his boys, go kick it at the club, and can go on trips without his girl tripping.  She’ll even give him some as soon as he gets back home, no questions asked.  Now, the black man the white woman will attract most likely won’t be the same guy that is being hunted down by…

The Rough Side

The streets.  In attempt to survive in the hood and to bring money to his family, the black man will let the streets take over his life.  He’ll steal, sell drugs, and maybe even kill to ensure his survival.  At first, it may start out as him doing what he can to provide for his family or even himself.  Then his obsession with the streets can take over his life; he enjoys the power, money, and respect he receives from other hustlers and the fear he puts in people in his neighborhood.  What he doesn’t realize is that this behavior could put him in the one place no one ever wants to go…

Jail.  This place may be a reprieve for some-I mean, you are guaranteed three meals a day, a place to sleep, a gym, cable, and you can get your education if you want to.  But who seriously wants to be locked up and have your movements monitored by someone else?  For those who were in the streets, it probably feels like they’re at home.  He may have his homies and family members in with him.  But being in jail and being caught up in the streets takes the black man away from building a strong black family and from having a
“no pressure” relationship with a white, or other non-black, woman.

I took some jabs today, and this post was definitely not meant to offend, but to make you think.  I tried to pick the high points, and I think you all got what I was trying to say.  Seriously, no one is as wanted as black men.  So, what say you good people?  Did you get the point I was trying to make?  Do you disagree with my statement?  If so, why? I could go on and on, but I know some of you have short attention spans and will get bored easily.  Feel free to talk amongst yourselves and share some comments.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.


  1. Wow, there is a lot going on in this post. I have read it a couple times and want to share a few thoughts.

    I assume that you believe that the nature of his environment has caused the black man to create for himself a dichotomic personna; he is perceived to be in possession of both gainful employment and an inability to find a job; he respects your mind but also has a mean streak. As far back as Greek tragedy, man has been portrayed as be both hero and villian (Oedipus Rex), sinner and saint (St. Augustine), slave and abolitionist (Frederick Douglass). What strikes me about your assumption is that you seem to be surprised about the choices men make. (The black man is drawn to the streets for the power, money and respect that he finds, regardless of the consequence – jail.) In actuality jail is not a deterrent or there would not be so many people in them.

    But Achilles chose death and honor over a long life and peace. Don Giovanni chose not to repent in the face of certain damnation. Saint Peter denied Christ 3 times before the dawn. My assertion is that man has always had this split personality, will always strive for things he cannot have and to be things he cannot be, and that the urge that drives him is not unique to any one class, race or creed. We all want to be gods roaming the earth, with the power to destroy and to create. And, when considered through the lens of literature, history and time, you will see that, inside every man’s psyche, there is really no split at all. The super ego understands the consequences and chooses to give into the id anyway, because life without a choice is not a life at all.

    “Oh that a man’s reach should exceed his grasp or what’s a Heaven for?” Robert Browning

    • Thanks for your reply, Tom. But in this post, I’m not talking about the “same” black man, but the black man as an image. I’m not saying that one black man is incapable of having job, but is gainfully employed (that’s way too complicated to get into). I’m saying that you have one black man who does the “right” things, goes to college, has a great job, wants to get married. Then you may have another black man who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks or made bad decisions and becomes a product of his environment. In essence, these scenarios and people all want A black man, not necessarily the same one.

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