Open Relationships

Two people meet, date, decide they have a lot of things in common, and decide to commit to one another.  That seems to be many people’s goal when it comes to relationships, but what if one person isn’t enough?  Does your significant other feel comfortable having an open relationship? 

According to Wikipedia, an open relationship is when people who are in a committed relationship are able to have an emotional or physical relationship with other partners.   I spoke with two of my friends yesterday regarding open relationships.  One friend, Vince, a graduate student, asked why we were questioning the whole open relationship “thing” anyway, as if it were taboo.  Vince mentioned that in some African societies, it is normal for one man to have many partners or wives.   He also brought up the fact that open relationships seem to work with celebrities in the sense they may be away from home a lot and may seek companionship on the road.  These type of relationships may not work with “regular” people who do not lead the same lives as celebrities and may not have the same resources.  Another friend, WaltBrown, a writer, supports open relationships.  He believes that during the “getting to know you” stages, two people should work on being friends first and possibly date and be intimate with other people.  Once two develop a strong friendship, then you can work on being a couple.   If the two do decide to have an open relationship, rules should be placed that make both parties comfortable.  The main thing that WaltBrown said that I agree with in regards to any relationship is that “Sex should be the icing on the cake, not the glue that holds a relationship together.”

As I told Vince last night, I am a very traditional girl (which he questioned :)), so I’m not sure I could have an open relationship.  I will admit both men did bring up points that were valid and that I never thought of before.  What are your thoughts on open relationships?  Do you think you could be in one?  Or maybe you have been in one.  What was your experience like?  Would you do it again?  I’m waiting to hear from you guys! Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.


  1. No ma’am! I’m stingy and sharing a man’s penis, affection, intimacy, and communication is not an option. And have you noticed in most “tales” of open relationahips the man benefits? No thank you…

  2. Hi Elle,

    In response to your question, its a resounding no. I don’t believe in open relationships. The whole premise verges on paligomy and I am against that too. We live in a society that is so open to any lifestyle, that its hard for some to know what the “normal” is. If, for instance, a child were brought up in a home where the parents were swingers…then that kid is going to grow up thinking that is the norm and that exclusitivity is just another “crasy way” to have a relationship. I guess I am old school when I say this but I am a one man type of woman and I don’t want to share my relationship with anyone except that one man.

  3. I wholeheartedly believe in open relationships. My only rule has always been don’t have sex with that person, or do not have sex with out protection. Protect me, as I will do you. I’m not saying that one man is not enough, however, I believe you find outstanding qualities in multiple people. I do, however, believe there is a difference between swingers and open relationships. I don’t know where society got the idea of this one man, one woman, philosophy. But it is neither historical, cultural, nor biblical. I know this is going to start a discussion. But it’s not. Good topic SGitC!

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