You’re Turning Me…Off

We all have turn-offs.  There are things that the opposite sex does, no matter how cute, fine, or pretty they are, that grates our nerves.  In the past few weeks, my turn-offs, some known and some brought to light, have come center stage while engaging with men.  Some turn-offs have manifested themselves during my dating activity with 2 guys over the past 2 weeks.  

A huge turn-off is tardiness.  If we made plans for a first date, you are not making a good first impression.  Both guys were late (by at least 20 minutes) to our first date.  Needless to say, that was Strike 1 for both of them.   I will admit Guy 1 called me (at the time we were supposed to meet) to let me know he was running a little late.  Guy 2 only let me know that he was running late after I told him I was running behind schedule (which was only by 3 minutes, thank you very much).   The next thing that is a huge turn-off is when I get asked the question, “So, why are you single?”.  To be perfectly honest my first time getting asked that question was last week by Guy 2, but that made me realize I don’t like it.  And it was more like, “So, what’s wrong with you?  Why are you single?”  Really, dude??? I proceeded to answer, “Actually nothing’s wrong with me; I just haven’t met a man that wants the same things I want.  So what’s wrong with you?  Why are you single?”  You want to play with matches, you will get burned…

Another turn-off on a date is when dudes talk about what they want to do in the future with me, but don’t follow through.  One of my disastorous internet dates did this and so did Guy 2; actually I may be a bit immature with Guy 2-it hasn’t been that long since our date.   If you’re not interested, don’t try to butter me up to let me down.  Let’s just enjoy the meal and go our separate ways once the check is paid.  Don’t try to fill my head with “outlandish flights of fancy” and think that’s cool; I bet you’d be mad if some chick did that to you…ok, let me get back on topic…

The last thing that I have discovered that I really turns me off is giving me a back-handed compliment.  Don’t know what a back-handed compliment is?  It’s when someone says something nice to you, but somewhere in the middle of the niceness they say something crazy/ugly/slightly mean.  Case in point, at dinner, Guy 2 proceeds to tell me that he’s used to dating model type women who are crazy and slightly spoiled.  The back-handed compliment I received was, “You’re not model-beautiful, but I think you’re beautiful or otherwise I would not have talked to you.” WHAT?!?!?! Who does that???  Lucky for him, I was still trying to make a good first impression, so I held back my comments, but I did give him the crazy look that said, “Did you really just say that to me?!”  *Some advice to you men, don’t say everything that comes to your mind; some things are better left unsaid.*  Despite his little rude comment, we had a nice dinner.  But that comment will always, well at least for awhile if we continue to date, be in the back of my mind.

What are your turn-offs?  What’s the one thing that a man or woman can do that gets under your skin in the worst way?  Please share, because I’m sure you’ll name some things that I need to look out for.  Until next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.


  1. I wouldn’t go so far as to say “strike 1” when a man isn’t perfect…maybe more like “mental note ” that he is human…if it happens again, then “mental note” he is a tardy type of person. Good post though 🙂

  2. I appreciate what you’re saying. And I guess when I go out with these guys again I’ll give them a time that’s 30 minutes earlier than the time I actually want to go out! And only a slight back-handed compliment! LOL!

  3. I’ve got 2 that come to mind:

    (1) I’ve dated girls who constantly needed to prove themselves as well as needing approval e.g. “I’m actually quite funny if you haven’t noticed”, “I’m just as cheeky as you. Did you know that? “, “Do you think I’m smart?” yadda yadda yadda. Be yourself!

    (2) Her getting drunk and we need to stop because she needs to vomit on the sidewalk. She even wanted me to hold her hair back!

    But hey, learning experiences nonetheless 😉

  4. I can so relate to this post. I’ve done a lot of dating in the past 2 years and I’ve gone out with all types of guys, the good, bad, and the ugly literally. I typically take people at face value so if a guy messes up too many times (or has too many strikes against him) I’ll heed those warnings and move on.

    Like you, I also hate when men try to say all the right things, then after a few dates you can tell he was just saying what he thought you wanted to hear. That’s always a disappointment. Dating in DC is definitely a challenge, hopefully we won’t have to deal with it for too much longer.

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