Marriage: Is It for Everyone?

This must have been the weekend of love.  Two of my sorority sisters got engaged! Yes, very happy occasions, and I can’t wait to hear the details of how their fiancees proposed.   But, on the other hand, a friend of a friend celebrated her 30th birthday this weekend by having dinner Saturday night, and a number of people thought her boyfriend was going to propose to her.  She has been with this man for almost 12 years (they met and started dating in undergrad) and is about to move in with him (I said she’ll be pregnant within a year-that was harsh, huh?!?!).  And come to find out her best friend, who was also in attendance at this dinner, is set to marry her fiancee next August.  A group of us have discussed this young lady’s situation in length-how she has been with this man for years, and they show no signs of getting married.   While we in our personal lives and the media make a big deal out of getting married, not every woman’s goal is to become a Mrs. one day.

Now, as a little girl growing up in the South, I was very traditional-to the extent that I knew I wanted to get married, have the house with the white picket fence, 2.5 children (the national average a few years back), a cool SUV (’cause I am NOT driving a mini-van), and maybe a family dog.  It never dawned on me that not every little girl dreams of getting married.  A co-worker pointed out to me that may be the case with a few people in society.  To use her as an example (hope you don’t mind!), my co-worker had been married for about 20 years (they’ve recently divorced), but neither she nor her ex-husband wanted to get married.   She felt pressure from family asking, “So, when are you going to get married?” And even when it was time for the big day, her future husband asked her, “Why are we doing this again?” 

As I grow, mature, and EVOLVE, I’m happy to know that I don’t know everything, and to really expand my mind so I can take others points of view into account.  I can say that my eyes have been opened wide.  While I know I want to become a Mrs. one day, I am not rushing into it by any means.  But  I also know that not everyone wants to get married, and 20 years ago when people thought others were crazy for not getting married, that doesn’t seem so crazy now.  I mean, a woman doesn’t need to have a husband to have a child or paying her bills or for “after hour” activities (ya’ll know what I’m talking about) if you want to take it to the extreme.  While I still think my friend’s friend is crazy for not marrying this boy after 12 years and moving in with him, I’ve decided that we must let people live their lives and do what makes them happy. 

Please feel free to share your thoughts on marriage for the masses.  Have we gone away from tradition?  Is it right to be a bachelor/bachelorette for our entire lives?  Until the next time, I’m just a Southern girl…in the city.

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